Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How to cope with a two week family visit??

43 replies

lul37 · 11/02/2019 17:39

My mum is coming over from abroad to visit me for two weeks. She was anxious about traveling on her own so she suggested if she could bring my brother with her. I said that's fine as he's uni aged and won't be much trouble at all.

Unfortunately there was a strong chance that his visa wouldn't come thru in time, so somehow my sister and her two toddlers are now coming along instead with my mum. They have booked for two weeks, although I have hinted to my mum that it might be too overwhelming for everyone. But she keeps insisting it's better this way. That she's so excited and not to worry about sleeping arrangements and all that.

I love my sister to bits but I also have two kids myself and we recently just moved house a few months ago , I have just bought new furniture and everything and now wished I hadn't bothered so soon.

Am just starting to panic now on how this trip will pan out for everyone and if it will be too much for two entire weeks, will we get on each others nerves as we always do Confused eventually. Plus 4 kids under 10 in the house, should I just accept my house is going to get wrecked!!

On top of that my brothers visa has come thru, my mum is overjoyed and is already planning a family reunion at my house for everyone when he can also come join us. She wants my other brother to fly out with his wife so we can all celebrate my mother's birthday together.

Any tips on how to survive family guests? I will try to organize as many outdoor activities but am just hoping I can get thru it in one piece without losing my cool!

OP posts:
DonPablo · 11/02/2019 17:44

Find your nearest air bnb/hotel. Enquire about availability. Book it for a week?

Put your new furniture in the garage/loft? Make as much space as possible.

Batch cook in advance?

Original poster
lul37 · 11/02/2019 17:47

Yes I am rolling up the expensive carpets, tried to suggest they book a hotel but was told not to fuss. Such a good tip for batch cooking!!! Thank you, so much for hoping I would enjoy a nice quiet visit from my mum Hmm

OP posts:
Epiphany52 · 11/02/2019 17:56

I’d be seriously tempted to put your Mum, sister and toddlers in the same bedroom. But maybe that’s just too much!
Second the batch cooking, maybe look into local playgroups and local parks and soft play. Have take away once in a while to have a bit of a break of ask in advance what they will cook while they are staying. Or say sister could you do breakfast on these days. It’s very easy to be put into the role of b&b owner. It’s ok for a weekend. But two weeks...

earlybyrd · 11/02/2019 18:01

Wow you don't sound very welcoming- your house can be tidy when they have left - can't you just think of your mum in this instance, I take it this isn't a yearly occurrence

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 11/02/2019 18:06

There is a big difference between just your mum and brother coming to your mum, sister and two children.

I'd make them stay elsewhere locally. It's a lot more hosting to take on, it's 4 children to calm and accommodate and you can guarantee that it'll be left to you as host to sort them all.

Elllicam · 11/02/2019 18:12

How many bedrooms do you have? If you are in a massive 5 bed and can easily fit an extra 3 adults and 2 kids then fair enough but otherwise where are you going to put them? I would be a bit annoyed too.

Original poster
lul37 · 11/02/2019 18:30

@Thesnobbymiddleclassone exactly what you said!

Told my mum quite bluntly that I would rather she and my brother come first week, and then my sister and kids can come along the following week if they really want to all get together (although they all live in the same city, it's not like they don't see each other). We are in a 4 bed, with only one being a guest bedroom, the fourth my husband has converted to his study/work place.

OP posts:
Original poster
lul37 · 11/02/2019 18:33

@earlybyrd I see your point. Just that I have literally spent all my savings setting up my new house and was just hoping to catch my breath and enjoy it abit....visiting toddlers unexpectedly just means I won't be fully able to relax and enjoy their visit.

OP posts:
Ylvamoon · 11/02/2019 18:38

Where abouts are you... maybe suggest an overnight trip to London Edinburgh (or any major city inbetween) ???
Day trip to places (you kindly stay behind...)

Original poster
lul37 · 11/02/2019 18:47

@Epiphany52 that made me lol the idea of all of them in the one room Grin

OP posts:
imanoldbattleaxe · 11/02/2019 18:58

Definitely put them all in one room, even if it means giving your room up. Just tell them as your DC are getting used to the new house you didnt want their sleep routine disrupting. Your mum and sis can share your bed and the kids each side on the floor. Guarantee they'll be sick of each other!

juneau · 11/02/2019 19:02

So you only have one guest room - where are they all going to sleep - these four (then five) people who are descending on you for two weeks???

I would tell them that your DM can stay, but everyone else has to stay somewhere else, because there isn't room for your sister, her two kids and your DB. Do they expect you all to bunk up to make room?

Original poster
lul37 · 11/02/2019 19:09

Sister in law just texted me to ask if she can stay a week after everyone else leaves, she has a one year old daughter. I swear I'm not joking, just speechless!!

OP posts:
Original poster
lul37 · 11/02/2019 19:13

@juneau the guest bedroom has a sofa bed that can fit two adults plus I have a folding (futon sp?), DH is going mad saying he refuses to give up his bedroom and/or buying an extra mattress. Cant blame him really....

OP posts:
juneau · 11/02/2019 19:16

Okay OP, repeat after me the MN mantra 'I'm sorry [insert relevant CF family member], that's doesn't work for us. You're going to have to stay somewhere else'. Now you try it.

RandomMess · 11/02/2019 19:21

I would say to your Mum "Are sure you are going to cope sharing a bedroom with sister and 2 x DN for a fortnight? Wink

Original poster
lul37 · 11/02/2019 19:29

@juneau I told her before if it gets too much, some of them will have to just go stay in a hotel. She just laughed it off.

My dad recently passed away and she has been extremely depressed. This trip has cheered her up to no end. If I do this now, the guilt would eat me up.

OP posts:
Original poster
lul37 · 11/02/2019 19:31

@RandomMess @imanoldbattleaxe she says she's happy crashing on our 'comfy sofa' Hmm

OP posts:
cleanasawhistle · 11/02/2019 19:33

Put them all in one bedroom and all their stuff.
Remove any kids toys that you dont want broken also any toys with lots of bits that could go missing....put them in the loft.
Same with art and craft stuff,felt tips etc.
Start as you mean to go on....if the kids start jumping on beds or furniture etc tell them no,if they dont listen tell you sister firmly to sort them out.

You might be plesantly surprised,you might really enjoy having them

wallywobble · 11/02/2019 19:35

Look you need to say this now quickly.

We only have one spare bedroom so this is beginning to look like a headache. We are totally skint after the move. Why don't you rent a house here (give examples) and lets do it that way. I love that you are all excited and can't wait to see you all but it's not going to work everyone staying with us.

RandomMess · 11/02/2019 19:41

Well that's ok give Mum the soda, sister and DC the room.

I agree with putting away anything precious and have ground rules about food and drink being at the table.

Send them out for the day on their own every few days!!!

MonsterKidz · 11/02/2019 19:42

OP, come on this is FAMILY you are talking about!

I’m assuming you live abroad, they are making the effort to visit, your father has recently passed and this trip is cheering your mum up.

Suck it up and accommodate. You may even just enjoy it...

Or, don’t. Tell them they can’t visit, or restrict when/who/for how long and stick to it. You have a choice.

SeaToSki · 11/02/2019 20:00

How CF, telling you not to fuss when you express very reasonable concern about having all those extra guests foisted on you without you having invited them. I think your DH is withon his rights to be objecting. I would call your DSis and tell her its not going to work and she needs to change her plans. DSil is doing it the correct way, you ask if its convenient and wait for a response.

RainbowWaffles · 11/02/2019 20:09

So mum, sister, two kids, brother and at some point other brother with his wife (and her child?) to fit in your four bedroom house where room 1 is you and DH, room 2 your two children, room 3 guest room and room 4 office. That sounds insane. I am all for putting up famly and regularly have a house full, but that sounds unworkable.

Original poster
lul37 · 11/02/2019 20:24

@cleanasawhistle those are fab tips, I'm going to 'edit' my home right away, and I don't mean just toys Wink

Looks like I'm going to suck it up' as @MonsterKidz said, although it's such a pain after we just moved but you're absolutely right.. I really hope it will all go smoothly, fingers crossed. Will try hard and be positive.

Guess it's best to just wait till they arrive since they can't seem to get it over the phone, then take my DS aside, and tell her that I'm happy hosting her first week, but she needs to consider staying elsewhere second week esp if the kids all start driving us mad and my brother shows up. See what happens then?

Maybe that's the best compromise. My mum shouldn't need to crash on the sofa tbh, it's my sister

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.