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Original poster

DP embarrassing himself?

35 replies

CopperCoinCollector · 11/02/2019 07:54

Back story as I think it’s relevant.
DP and I are having a tough time.
Together 12 years and have 2 dc aged 5 and 3. I also have a teenage DS from my previous relationship.
DP Mum passed away fairly recently, a little over a year ago, it hit him hard but he’s doing well.

More recently a very close family member had to leave her DP whilst heavily pregnant due to DV.
We’ve been helping her out a lot, she doesn’t have much other support. Helped her get a new place, get settled etc. Her baby has been born with a severe disability, this was completely unexpected and they haven’t left the hospital since the baby was born a few months ago.
We visit whenever we have time, taking her supplies and supporting her as best we can, between us both working FT and dealing with our younger DC etc. She’s not coping well and to be honest, we’re all pretty exhausted. Finding it virtually impossible to get time alone together (so I’m feeling a little insecure possibly? I’m unsure)

Last week a woman we know through DC school brought a gift to our house for the lady in hospital and asked if we’d take it to her.

My teen DS answered the door to her, I was out with friends and she knew that so asked DS if DP was home.
DS went to tell him and said ‘there’s a woman at the door for you’ DP went to the door, said of course we’ll take it, how thoughtful etc.
All normal right?

Except DP keeps going on about it! Telling the ‘story’ to everyone, emphasising the ‘there’s a woman at the door for you’ and implying DS had possibly been suspicious Hmm

Oh how he laughs when he shares this witty tale, adding how lovely, thoughtful and kind she is. It’s got a distinct whiff of mentionitis about it Blush

I can’t say anything to him about it can I?
Even if he fancies her a bit nothing would come of it, she is indeed wonderful and very very happily married and secure.
I think I should just let him have this little ‘flirtation’ or whatever it is (it’s in his own mind) as he’s been through a lot and it’s not a huge betrayal or anything.

He is embarrassing himself though, and me really. He’s being so blatant, it’s a total non story and he’s getting lots of eyebrows raised and eye rolls while people then answer with a normal ‘oh, how nice of her’

Am I overthinking this and should I just let him carry on or should I say something? I don’t want to cause an argument or to make him feel embarrassed that I’ve noticed.

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 11/02/2019 08:01

Urghh I can see why that would peeve you off! I’m sure someone more sensible and tolerant will make a good suggestion. I would of let him have it by now Grin

Iloveacurry · 11/02/2019 08:06

Who’s he telling the story to anyway?

It’s a bit of a non story really, he’s making a fool of himself and if the mum hears about it, she might not be very happy if he’s making some sort of assumption.

If I was dropping a gift off, I’d rather give it to an adult than a teenager who, let’s face it, might forget to pass on.

Completelyfine · 11/02/2019 08:10

Yes it does make him sound daft. For some reason he was flattered.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 11/02/2019 08:14

Ick. The thing is though, there wasn’t a ‘woman at the door’ for HIM was there? There was just a woman at the door. If you’d been at home, she’d have asked for you. I would ignore that the first few times but, after about the third retelling, I’d have to point that out.
Perhaps you could call him to the door for everything. There’s a postman at the door for YOU, there’s a DPD delivery driver at the door for YOU.....

Holidayshopping · 11/02/2019 08:17

I would laugh when he says it and say-‘oh my god, are you telling that story again? Honestly, DH you sound about 12!!

Original poster
CopperCoinCollector · 11/02/2019 09:28

Oh thank goodness you appear to agree with me. I was a bit worried I might sound like a crazy jealous person!

@LuluBellaBlue it is annoying now Grin

@Iloveacurry so far, me! (I wasn’t there remember, so I got told) his uncle, my Dad, some of our friends Blush You have a point about it possibly getting back to her...or worse, her husband! Perhaps I’ll casually mention that to DP.

@Completelyfine yes, definitely HE was flattered, as @GetOffTheTableMabel says, the gift was for the lady! DS worded it as ‘for you’ but DP seems to have really read into that, even DS has eye rolled and said he didn’t mean it like that Confused

@Holidayshopping I think I’m going to go for this approach or similar, while adding ‘what if her husband hears and thinks you fancy his wife’ or similar.

Should I keep it light and jokey? Or perhaps a bit more serious? I don’t want him to think I’m starting an argument or anything, it’s just that enough is enough!

OP posts:
Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 11/02/2019 09:37

Oh dear, it's hard to watch someone you love make an ass of themself - let alone when it involves a mini-crush on someone else.

I'd give him another day and if he's still doing it just say "my dear, you have told that same story enough times to enough people. Let it rest."

ems137 · 11/02/2019 09:45

Oh god how cringey!!

My DH has done very similar things on occasion, but only repeats the story to me, not to every Tom, Dick and Harry! He does it to make me a bit jealous so I just take the piss out of him when he says it now. So in your situation I'd say something like "oh yeah DH, she came round because she knew I was out and wanted to seduce you on our doorstep 🙄"

lottielady · 11/02/2019 09:49

‘You’ve delighted us enough with that story now, DH.’

MadeForThis · 11/02/2019 09:52

Wow, you're telling that story again. People will think that you've never had someone knock at the door before!!

Wakk · 11/02/2019 09:56

I'd say you better watch yourself making out like she fancies you. Her husband wont take kindly to that sort of rumour being started by you.

YogaWannabe · 11/02/2019 09:59

Oh god, I’d have to say something! It’s embarrassing for all concerned.

My friends partner does this, he hadn’t really had much non family interaction with the opposite sex and now through a hobby he does, these men are the worst offenders imo!

Definitely say something like PP suggested above.

Original poster
CopperCoinCollector · 11/02/2019 10:03

I can honestly cope with him having a small crush on this lady. It appears to be harmless and won’t come to anything but I could do with it ending soon or at least him not being so obvious about it Blush

Now I think about it, it’s happened once before, she was a colleague of his and he ‘mentioned’ her loads to me but the ‘stories’ were just so mundane! I’m not sure if he was sharing those stories with others though, I think it might have just been me that time. She left for another job and it stopped.

OP posts:
YogaWannabe · 11/02/2019 10:07

It’s disrespectful though isn’t it?
Is he an awkward type and was just glad to have had a nice interaction?

GummyGoddess · 11/02/2019 10:19

@MadeForThis or even better, 'it makes you look as though no woman has ever been interested in you before'.

Op I can understand why you're annoyed but I would be struggling to contain my laughter every time he told the same boring story and got a bored reaction.

NunoGoncalves · 11/02/2019 10:28

if it helps, hearing a story like this wouldn't make me immediately think the man had a crush or something. I would just think he tells boring stories. Lots of people do, to be fair.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 11/02/2019 10:33

Oh dear does sound like he’s got a mini crush.

I’d have to say something I’m afraid. Nothing serious just something along the lines of ‘again dh? Do you have to tell that story to everyone? You do realise that it sounds like you have a crush on this woman each time you tell it’ queue eye rolling, if he mentions it again

Original poster
CopperCoinCollector · 11/02/2019 10:34

@YogaWannabe I suppose it is a little bit. I don’t think he realises. Far from awkward, he’s very confident.

@GummyGoddess lol I wouldn’t want to feed the illusion that she might be interested though Grin

@NunoGoncalves it is quite noticeable, not just me picking up on it I bet, I definitely think my poor Dad did! Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
CopperCoinCollector · 11/02/2019 10:35

@WhoKnewBeefStew yes I think it’s time I had a word!

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 11/02/2019 10:49

‘Oh for the love of fuck, grow up’

IncrediblySadToo · 11/02/2019 10:50

^^ to him

In case that wasn’t clear!

dellacucina · 11/02/2019 10:55

@lottielady pride & prejudice reference ftw!

HeckyPeck · 11/02/2019 11:00

To be honest if one of my friend’s husbands told that story I’d laugh and think the joke was that his son thought some fancy woman was calling, agree that she was kind and thoughtful then forget all about it.

It wouldn’t occur to me at all to think he fancied the woman. I wouldn’t be embarrassed either.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 11/02/2019 11:01

At least you know he'll be as obvious as all hell if he ever does have an inappropriate relationship!
If a simple doorstep interaction can cause him to broadcast his feelings so glaringly.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 11/02/2019 11:10

I'm really sorry OP but I genuinely can't see what the issue is here. I really do think you're over-thinking this on a massive level. I'd say you're making a mountain out of a molehill but I'm not sure there's even a molehill...

The good news for you though is that he will soon run out of people to tell and then you can forget all about it.