Is the onus on ex to arrange mediation if he wants to see DC?

[TheOrdinaryPoster]

He has had regular contact for 4 years, much more than any court would give him, practically 50/50.

Around 3 months ago he started a new relationship and contact got less and less. He hasn't seen or spoken to DD for over a month now. I had arranged mediation for next weekend. Having just spoken to him he is saying he will be asking for one night every fortnight and thats it. I think he is paying lip service to seeing his child and clearly has no interest in her anymore.

I'm considering cancelling mediation and saying if you want to see her, you sort it out. I know he won't actually sort it out. Is there any point in dragging a reluctant father into mediation or is the onus on him to arrange it?

I would not be telling your dd that he loves her very much, the reason being, is that she in future relationships, may equate love with being absent and not reachable.

It gives mixed signals.

I am so sorry for your dd, it is heart breaking

I’ve decided to go to mediation. Like you all said if he then decides not to attend his then it’ll be a black mark against his name in the future and I’ll have only lost £80. I feel like I want to “get in there first” so to speak.

In other news he has cut off her contract to the iPad he was paying for and deleted her profile from his Netflix. Luckily she’s too young to understand what a nasty move that was.

In other news he has cut off her contract to the iPad he was paying for and deleted her profile from his Netflix. Luckily she’s too young to understand what a nasty move that was.

What a bastard. Don't make any excuses for this guy.

Not the actions of a man who is planning to ‘see you in court’, really, but one who is seeking to divest himself of responsibility.

Mediation will give you a place to get it all off your chest, if nothing else.

How a man can abandon his DCs so casually without any conscience never ceases to amaze me. Clearly he’s very much in the honeymoon period with gf, and she is the focus of his attention at the moment. No doubt if the relationship goes belly up he will come running back to your dd with tail between his legs, bleating to anyone who listens that the fault was always with you that he hasn’t seen her regularly. That’s why it’s important to follow to the letter any efforts you have in place, and keep everything documented and evidenced. One night a fortnight is better than nothing.

What an arsehole. Make sure he pays the maintenance even if he is incapable of being a father in any other way.

Fucking hell. What a prick.