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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What would you think if your partner received a message....

73 replies

Fratelli · 06/02/2019 20:55

From a woman saying "are you playing tonight?" And you know for a fact that it isn't to do with something like football for example.

OP posts:
Fratelli · 06/02/2019 21:12

Yes Bestseller however to my knowledge they don't have regular contact

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Keepit · 06/02/2019 21:13

Could mean are you coming out, we say ‘you out to play?’ around here

SparklyMagpie · 06/02/2019 21:13

I actually could imagine it being refered to that but that's probably just me.

Mum2boys1girl · 06/02/2019 21:13

Car club then probably means are you coming to the car meet tonight like you up for it. It could also me me playing tonight In as racing

lifegoes · 06/02/2019 21:13

Masturbation - swapping photos and videos

TheVanguardSix · 06/02/2019 21:13

When you put it that way, I’m inclined to believe him.

mrbob · 06/02/2019 21:15

Oh I would totally refer to that as coming out to play. I wouldn’t worry at all!

Variousartists · 06/02/2019 21:15

‘Playing’ and ‘fun’ have sexual connotations these days.

Alongwaytogo · 06/02/2019 21:15

I often say this meaning are you working today. Totally innocent. Best b careful my colleagues wives don't get the wrong ideaBlush

GreenEggsHamandChips · 06/02/2019 21:16

Oh that would make sense.

cavycavy · 06/02/2019 21:20

Going on call? As in on call for work? Does she work with him?

Fratelli · 06/02/2019 21:20

They don't work together tho. They don't even cover the same area as we live quite a distance apart. None of the other responders ever call it that.

And they don't do the car meet thing any more.

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Fratelli · 06/02/2019 21:20

It's a voluntary thing not work.

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cavycavy · 06/02/2019 21:23

Just re read your post about first responsing.

I would say that sounds fine.

If it was “are you playing tonight Wink Smile xxx” that would be more worrying

Variousartists · 06/02/2019 21:23

So they would be meeting up somewhere?

cavycavy · 06/02/2019 21:24

My dad (70) and his best mate (also Male) always text each other with “are you playing today?” When all they do is sit and chat over a pint.

Bestseller · 06/02/2019 21:25

I'd be happy with that explanation, but there seems to be a reason you're not?

southernetter · 06/02/2019 21:25

Is there any chance the text was meant for someone else but she sent it to your DH by mistake? I think that would be one of my first thoughts but I admit I would have it in the back of my mind that it could be code talk for something more else and your senses are obviously alerting you to something that seems amiss although I hope it’s entirely innocent

Fratelli · 06/02/2019 21:28

I'm just not happy about the fact all their previous correspondence has been deleted. And when I asked him what she meant he got very defensive. It just rang alarm bells.

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ElderMillenial · 06/02/2019 21:35

What app is the message on? I know if it's whatsapp and you delete a thread then all messages reappear when you get a new message. Unsure if that helps.

I would say his reason sounds legitimate. Just keep an eye out.

DBML · 06/02/2019 21:39

If it were me, I’d ask for the phone and I would message her...
“You go first”
And see what happens...
She’d either reply in confusion or you’d start receiving the kink.
Would your husband give you his phone to use? If not, I think there’s a problem with that alone.

CaseofEllen · 06/02/2019 21:41

Me and my DP would say 'are you playing tonight' when we would sext so I understand why you might be worried but could mean loads of other things too, as PPs have said x

Fratelli · 06/02/2019 21:42

No he wouldn't give me his phone becuase "there's no need to"

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VirtuallyConfused · 06/02/2019 21:44

Sexting often starts with 'do you want to play?'

DBML · 06/02/2019 21:47

I think that when someone says there is no need for you to see their phone, what they actually mean is:
No chance, I’m not sure what you might find.

Not saying this is your husband op, but I’d be concerned if my husband wouldn’t let me use/look at his phone.