Yeah fair enough. Lundy is enough.
The way I see it is it's an extension of normal human behaviour, it's simply that the abuser's perspective is skewed. Lundy Bancroft tries to explain this (very badly, IMO) in his book with the analogy about the piece of land that the man believes to be his private land but everyone keeps treating publically.
I explained it a bit differently on a thread some years ago now. It is not that a jealous and posessive and controlling man sees a woman as a dog, he sees her as a woman, but that he sees the relative roles in a relationship as being hierarchical, similar to the roles of a pet dog and its owner, or a parent and child, or an employer and employees. I stick to the dog because it is clearer and things like parenting styles don't get in the way of the analogy.
When you have a dog you love the dog very much, it is a member of your family, it brings you enormous joy and you take very good care of it. You buy it the best food and the most comfortable bed and you would be upset if it got ill or was in pain. You'd never hit the dog or leave it out in the cold. You're a good dog owner. Probably a bit indulgent, to tell the truth. Sometimes the dog even sleeps in your bed or comes up on the sofa, even though it's not really allowed. But not if it's wet - then it can stay in the kitchen. And you don't eat meals with your dog at the kitchen table. It doesn't have its own bedroom in the house, its bed is in a downstairs room. When you change working hours, you would consider the dog's needs, but not ask his opinion. Sometimes the dog misbehaves and you have to tell it off, or use treats to encourage a behaviour that you do want. And when you go out of course the dog is on a lead, for its own safety.
Now all of that makes sense, because it's a dog. It's not equal to a human and a domestic animal is dependent on its owner for survival. But a posessive and controlling man sees his partner in a similar way. He loves her, he takes care of her, he does the best for her and he genuinely believes that he's a good partner. But he also believes that she's not really capable of rational thought like a man is, so he wouldn't seek her opinion on things, not seriously. He doesn't really trust her around other men because he doesn't believe that she really understands "what men are like" and wouldn't be able to withstand any pressure. Of course, he also believes that she should bow immediately to his pressure, so it stands to reason he might be worried that she would also cave to another man's pressure tactics. He generally believes that men are women are so drastically different as though they are from "Mars and Venus" - pop culture plays sexistly into this of course. This is why you want to run a mile from anybody who buys into gendered stereotypes, even jokingly. Sometimes they are totally harmless but if you're unlucky they can absolutely lead into attitudes like this, where the control is "necessary" in the eyes of the abuser because they see this invisible hierarchy between themselves and their partner.
Sometimes this exists against/across or despite gender roles because of a person's upbringing or mental health issues or it's a deep seated need to control everything around them or they have some issues like narcissism causing an inflated sense of their own importance - but when it happens from a man towards a woman sexism plays in and reinforces it constantly.