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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What to do with wedding album from a dead marriage?

44 replies

tiddlywinkiewoo · 29/01/2019 20:09

I was married for 20 years (happily) until ex husband met OW and left us.
I've been divorced for two very painful years now.
Would you keep your wedding album... for the kids? For memories???

Thoughts?

OP posts:
TooManyPuppies · 29/01/2019 20:11

Personally with kids I'd keep it, it's still their dad and part of their history etc. If I didn't have kids I'd burn it and forget it ever happened.

BowBeau · 29/01/2019 20:11

I’d put it away for the kids.

tiddlywinkiewoo · 29/01/2019 20:12

LOL !That made me laugh out loud ! x

OP posts:
eatingtomuch · 29/01/2019 20:14

I have kept mine up the loft. There are some lovely phots of relatives that are no longer with us and of course their dad.

Downeyhouse · 29/01/2019 20:14

Keep it for the kids. I remember wanting to burn mine during the divorce but knew that one day the kids would want the photos.

10 years on and a member of ex’s family died young and suddenly. The album was such a comfort to his kids to see their mum and dad as a young happy couple at our wedding. My kids also loved looking at it and it is clear how much it already means to them now as young adult. I am so glad I kept it.

If it is causing you pain maybe put it in the loft where you won’t stumble across it and it will be then when you are ready.

DoctorDread · 29/01/2019 20:14

Kept mine for my kids

JellyBean31 · 29/01/2019 20:21

Mines in my desk drawer at work. Took it in years before we split up, no way am I taking it home with me but won't throw it away as a pp said, there are lovely photos of family members who have since died.

ConorMcGregorsChin · 29/01/2019 20:23

I was married 20 yrs ago. We split fairly amicably after 13 yrs. He was more upset than I was however, but wanted no memories of our wedding. So I took the photos from our wedding. Actually like (occasionally) looking back at how young we were. Also kept my wedding dress for quite a long time, but let it go only because I needed the space.

Interestingly, he takes his new fiancee to all of our old haunts

SavageBeauty73 · 29/01/2019 20:24

I binned mine. My kids have no interest in seeing wedding pictures.

Sunshineandflipflops · 29/01/2019 20:24

I’m keeping mine, along with the framed photos we had around the house, in the loft for the kids and maybe to look at one day with fond memories, not bitterness and sadness.

category12 · 29/01/2019 20:28

Well I'm making photobooks currently of past years that include some of the ex. Can't deny your past.

I'd put it away. You'd never get it back, and one day you might be able to look back at it without pain and admire how fabulous you looked.

FeelingFlat · 29/01/2019 20:30

My Nan used to cut his head out of all pictures 😂

tiddlywinkiewoo · 29/01/2019 20:32

Interesting comments about family who are no longer with us. Think I'll keep it (in my mum's loft!).

OP posts:
Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 29/01/2019 20:34

Please keep it for your kids.

My mum did burn her wedding album, she divorced when I was 4 and I only saw my dad on Saturdays.
When I was 12 she moved over 200 miles away and I could only see him during holidays. He died when I was 21 so I missed so much time with him and thanks to one angry moment she had I have virtually no pictures either.
So if you can I think your kids might appreciate it, it would be a kind gesture to stick it in a cupboard and offer it to them when they move out!

OneStepMoreFun · 29/01/2019 20:50

It's still a big part of your life, so I'd keep it in a loft or attic. Nowhere I could access it, but so if DC wanted it later on, there's a record.

Or choose a few photos of guests and relatives, keep one wedding shot for history, and burn the rest in the garden.

Or you could be cheeky and post it to him with a note: I don't need this anymore, do you want it?

Sorry you are still in pain over the split. I hope life turns around for you so you end up having such a good time you are glad it happened!

llangennith · 29/01/2019 20:50

I kept mine from first marriage, white wedding nearly 50 years ago, because I look so nice😂
Gave the album to DD1 a few years ago and she treasures it.

Dimedollar · 29/01/2019 21:00

Mine is in my parents loft, no kids with him but I think one day when I'm old I might want to look at them.

I married the wrong person, but it was a nice day and I looked fab!

It's part of my history.

LordPickle · 29/01/2019 21:01

I came on to say to burn it. That's what I did and it was very cathartic. But since you have kids, I guess you could keep it?

Dirtybadger · 29/01/2019 21:02

You don't have to keep all the photos. Personally have no interest in seeing my parents wedding photos but some people do so might be worth giving to them or giving them a few pictures if not all of them.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 29/01/2019 21:02

I kept mine as I looked absolutely fucking amazing in that dress and my hair was beaut too.

I pay zero attention to anyone or anything else in that album, just me

[preens]

Karigan195 · 29/01/2019 21:03

I’ve kept mine for our son. If we didn’t have a son together I’d have burnt it with pleasure and salted the burns so it could never resurrect again.....

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 29/01/2019 21:05

DH burned his after his ex left him and the kids for another man. She had told him on their wedding anniversary though, very cruel I think.

Heyha · 29/01/2019 21:06

My DP's dad gave him the wedding album from PIL's ill-fated wedding. He loved it, as many PP have said because of the photos with relatives in as much as anything else. I wish my mum had still got the album from their wedding (I know my dad definitely hasn't) for the same reason.

funnystory · 29/01/2019 21:16

I know someone who threw their's in a skip when they moved house after a nasty break up. Someone came across it and thought somebody must have lost it and put it on Facebook to try and find the owner with photos of the happy couple and everything! It all gained momentum and somehow even ended up in a national newspaper. Thankfully she saw the funny side but I think the person who had tried to trace the owner was a bit embarrassed by it all!

kaitlinktm · 29/01/2019 21:22

Married in 1980 and divorced in 2003 - have kept mine because of the people no longer with us and because some relatives were children then and it's nice to see them too. I don't really look at it - it's been in the loft all this time.

I don't know that my sons will really want it, they aren't really into photos and were teens when we split - but if they don't, they can chuck it out when I'm gone. Grin