Court tomorrow.

[Dextrodependant]

I am in court tomorrow as a witness against my ex.

He is accused of harassing me, he broke into my house, he stole my dog, threatened to kill me.

I am so nervous that they are going to make out I am lying. I know I am not but he has plead not guilty so I guess he is confident they will believe him.

He has been convicted before but I stupidly gave into him pressuring me and we got back together. I am scared this will go against me.

I don't know what to wear, I don't want to drive to the court in rush hour, I just feel sick.

Hand hold please!

Sorry you are going through this. I presume cps decided there was evidence or there wouldn't be a court case? Also he has a previous conviction for similar? Hope they throw the book at him...
Just wear something smart but plain, as if for an interview. Take counsel from the lawyers, keep your dignity and know that they have seen people lying every day and WILL recognise it (him, not you!)

Is there someone who can come with you and support you? Just having a friend who’s shoulder you can lean on would help, I imagine.

Big hand hold from me. I’m currently doing Jury Service on a long court case and have been watching a lot of witnesses....

Wear something smartish but comfortable. You just need to look rational and fairly sensible. You will be standing to give evidence but spend a lot of time sitting around so I’d go black trousers + decent smartish top. Our court is pretty cold at the moment so several layers would be a good idea.

Research travel times, and leave early so you’re not flustered.

Just tell the truth and keep your answers short. Your team are on your side, they will give you the chance to tell the truth. Stick to answering the question. Yes the defence barrister will be looking to weaken your case, but if your case is anything like the one I’m on the truth will be pretty transparent. Imagine the defence barrister is not a real person but a computer occasionally throwing out impertinent questions.

If you need a break ask for one. If you don’t get the question you’re being asked say ‘I don’t understand your question’.

And most of all - well done, you’re doing this for harassed women everywhere as well as for yourself. Thank you for being brave for us all.

I don't want anyone to come. I didn't tell anyone I had got back with him, I was so ashamed. I don't want to have to make it public knowledge how stupid I was.

I don't want to come across as a victim but not do I want them to think his behaviour hasn't affected me.

He got community service last time but didn't complete it due to his mental health. That was a year ago.

I work in a court setting. Can you tell me if this is at a Magistrates Court or Crown Court?

In either case there is likely to be a volunteer from the Witness Service at the court. They support witnesses at court. They will provide you with an idea of who sits where and the court process. Are you intimidated? Have you requested to give evidence behind a screen? If you are then as soon as you get to court tomorrow speak to the CPS about screens.

I would wear something smartish and comfortable. No need to worry about that too much. If you want further information I can pm you direct. Remember you are not on trial he is.

He will have been advised to plead not guilty in the hope that you don't turn up to give evidence.

When you do turn up and there is strong evidence then he will be advised to plead guilty.

But worse case and you have to give evidence remember the solicitor/barrister asks the questions but give your answers to the magistrates. Don't make eye contact with him. Keep calm. Cry if you need to. His legal person will say you are lying because of x y z. Just reply no I'm not I'm telling the truth or no that's not correct.

It is at a combined court but I am assuming it is magistrates.

I haven't requested a screen but I under estimated how nerve wracking it is going to be.

I hope that he does change his plea when I show up.

Despite being on bail with conditions not to contact me, and a non molestation order, he is still contacting me. It has died down to once a week now. Most recent being tonight.

The police know about the ongoing contact and are investigating.

PurpleWithRed

gives some good advice. Just try not to get too vexed in the Defence seem to repeat the same questions. Just be the cracked record ie repeat the truth. If you need a break ask for one. If your mind goes blank then ask to look at your statement again. If you can't
remember or you don't know the answer just say so.

If you get upset in the witness box it's ok. Many people do.

Also have you been asked by the police about a Victim Impact Statement? Has anyone mentioned a restraining order? I would imagine he is covered by bail conditions if he has not been remanded, but once the court case is over and depending upon whether he is found guilty or not, restraining orders may be appropriate. Speak to the CPS about this when you meet them tomorrow.

Don't forget he is on trial not you. CPS don't bring cases to court unless they think they have a good chance of being successful. His evidence will be examined after the prosecution has finished their case.

Good luck.

I did an impact statement at the police station.

My 1e year old had to give a statement but he hasn't been called as a witness thankfully.

Will I be able to look at my statement before I give my evidence? Will it look like I am lying if I have to go over it again?

You will be given your statement to read but won't have it in court when you give evidence.

You can do this x

I have evidence against my ex for breaching a non molestation order.

I wore a black dress and a blazer and flat shoes.

Feel free to private message me if you want.

You will be able to read your statement before court. I think I had witness support (can't remember their name) they were really nice.
My ex pleaded not guilty and spent the whole time smirking at me.
I looked at the judge only - took my time and answered very short answers. His lawyer / barrister tried to trip me up a few times - but i was telling the truth and had to say "I did not say that" a few times as he was trying to twist my words.

You can do this
Nobody will think you are stupid for going back - people will want to support you.
Do you have a friend you could reach out too tonight?

You will be given a copy of your statement when you get to court. The prosecutor and CPS will introduce themselves to you. You will get an opportunity to go over it again before the court case begins. All witnesses are advised to go over their statements again. You can also ask to look at it again when you are in the witness box if you can't remember details. All normal and done every day.

Don't worry (easy for me to say) too much about what people think of you. Just go and tell the truth. You will be taking back control.

Thanks everyone for replying. I honestly didn't expect to be this worried.

I went to court and represented myself twice to get non molestation orders, the first one ran out after 6 months and he started again so I went for another. That didn't bother me I am so worried About tomorrow.

Will they think it's my own fault for getting back with him?

Excellent advice. Trust the judge. And be strong.

No they won't. They are not there to judge you but him. There are so many cases like this in the courts. Statistics show that it takes many acts of DV before the victim leaves the perpetrator for good. Court personnel know and understand that.

Please don't worry about what they think of you. Just go in, head held high and give the evidence.

It might be an idea to talk to Women's Aid or Victim Support after the case if you have not done so already. They can help with this.

It takes an average of 7 attempts (I think - would have to google) for a woman to permanently leave an abusive relationship. For millions of reasons, mainly to do with manipulation by the abuser. So it shouldn't be a surprise that you might have gone back after the last time.

Don't blame yourself - you acted quite normally in very abnormal circumstances. Think about doing the freedom Programme to understand the dynamics/impact on you.

Good luck tomorrow

Thank you all so much. It's good to know that people do understand.

Will we be waiting in a separate area?

I had to go through this in October last year - he pleaded not guilty right up until the day where he changed his plea to guilty.

You wait in a completely separate area and have someone who looks after you and goes through the whole process with you.

I was strong up until the day and when I saw him I just broke down, just remember it's ok to get upset! My ex got a 12month restraining order and a fine.

You'll be ok, just remember all the nasty things he has done and it'll get you through. I went back to my ex numerous times xx

Glad he changed his plea! I am hoping mine does the same.

It's so helpful to know I am not alone in this. to all that have been through it.

You are not alone OP. We are here for you. Good luck. Remember head held high, tell the truth, take back control.

Hi all, he plead guilty s9 I didn't have to go in after all.

The prosecution solicitor said he would have been advised to do so because the evidence was all there and he has been prosecuted for the same offence before so he can't sat that he didn't realise his actions amount to harassment.

He is back to get sentenced in Feb.

I do like it when I'm right.

Well done for seeing it through

Brilliant result! Well done

@RacMacTac I didn't spot your user name yesterday but you helped me with the forms for the original non molestation order in 2017. I adapted those forms for the new non molestation order so thank you again!

Great news!