Dp still has his ex's things round the house after 3 years. Can't work out if I'm being over sensitive

[Stuckandsad]

Have been with dp for 2 years now ( We don't live together), a year before he met me he lived with his ex and she left him, they were together 4 years and when she moved out she left behind a lot of smaller possessions.

Things like mugs that were obviously relationship type ones, in pairs. Small keep sakes like fridge magnets from holidays they went on together are still on the fridge, her favourite alcoholic drinks that he doesn't like, christmas gift set type things in the bathroom, even down to her birth control and razors in the ensuite.

I'm on the third row now of coming across her stuff while I'm there and I'm thinking of calling it a day. It's just a bit weird and disheartening.
He threw away the mugs when I said I didn't want him to make me tea in mugs he'd bought for her. Chucked out the benefit body lotions when I asked him to but I keep coming across her stuff. He knows it upsets me.
I opened a cupboard in his kitchen looking for cleaning wipes and was just faced with bottles and bottles of strawberry pimms and Bailey's that is definitely not his ( strictly a beer guy)

I can't work out if I'm being nuts or Not?
Fwiw he is very house proud and neat so I just can't believe that they are a bit of a hoarders oversight iyswim?

I don't care about his past but I feel like he is physically living in it

Haha, my fiancé and I have been together for 4 years. One of the pictures he has up in his house is a group photo of all of his mates and their wives. His ex is right there at the front with him in the picture. I keep thinking I must get around to changing it to a recent one but I’m not too bothered. I know that for him it wasn’t a fulfilling relationship that he was into.

It’s just stuff. I found quite a few bits and pieces hanging around belonging to his ex here. I just gradually got rid of it as stuff was rearranged when I moved in.

Wow, you all attach a lot of meaning to stuff, don’t you? I have been with my DH 15 yrs, married for 3. I only just put his ex’s sailing shoes in the charity.
We also have the sofa he bought with his first wife (different woman).
My favourite outsize fleece to wear over my pyjamas was bought for my ex by the woman he subsequently left me for.
I’d be pretty upset if I were asked to erase a big part of my life!

Better than finding a vibrator in the bottom of a laundry basket not joking

Victoria I found a vibrator under an exs bed when I helped him move house! 😂

I wear a lot of jewellery bought for me by an ex. Not because of sentimental value, just because I have weird specific taste and it is all gorgeous and was very hard to come by. My DP had never minded.

The birth control/razors is odd. How about just binning them and making a jokey comment like 'I trust your periods are under control and I don't mind your hairy legs so I'm chucking these!'

It's a tough one.

On one hand lots of people wouldn't mind the stuff and might even consider it off putting that you were making a fuss.

However you are upset and have let him know? What did you say to him and what was said? Did he agree to get rid and not do it?

I don't think it means he has any feelings for her. He is hardly being sentimental about some rusty razors.

But its concerning he doesn't care you're upset. And he's possibly trying to give you a message he won't be told what to do (in which run as it spells enormous communication problems further down the line.)

But he's also possibly just scatty and lazy and hasn't realised it is bothering you really. In short, like my DP :)

Talk to him. Then come back and update us as I am very interested in this topic.