End of the line... need support

[Freshsheets9]

So... I think this is the end of the line for my 4 year relationship. I feel like the last few months I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster, making excuses for DPs behaviour. But this weekend has been the final straw.

I’m annoyed though, because I just want respect and communication.

He left yesterday evening to go and see one of his friends. I asked him if he was home for tea? He said Yes, why wouldn’t I be.

I haven’t seen or heard from him since, and have been blocked on every platform of social media and communication method. Why???

All his belongings are here? We have no DC but have twin DSD who are 4 and stay 50:50. All their belongings are also here?

So why has my DP gone NC? He has been online on WhatsApp not that long ago, so I know he’s alive, plus chatting on Facebook to his friends.

Why would someone do this? To someone they are meant to love and care about?

(Insert emotional wreck emoji)

What a bloody waste of time this man is. As far as his ex is concerned, with all that shouting when he was in hospital, she should have been told that social services would be informed. They really do seem as bad as each other.

What a complete tosser this fuckwit is.
All of his stuff goes today when he comes to collect it. Anything left behind gets binned. This is what I said to my ex when he attempted to do a flit like this.
The children are not your responsibility. He is responsible for making arrangements to collect them on the handover day.
If he does not collect them from school the school will deal with the situation. It is awful for the children obviously but there is nothing you can do about it.
He and his ex sound absolutely awful. You are well rid.

Thanks everyone.

He has just been round and I tried to remain strong. All he did was cry, and looked like a broken man. He isn’t sure that he’s making the right decision, but I stayed strong and said he had to deal with it, as I can’t take anymore.

He has taken what he needs for a few days. And said he will collect all of the other items on Wednesday. And the week after the larger items.

I hate this whole situation. I love him to pieces and his DC and right now I can’t see this whole mess getting any easier.

Ah OP that's hard. I've seen a few threads on here where separated dads basically find a woman to 'help' them parent their own kids - inevitably the woman gets attached to the kids, but the bloke treats her like shit, meanwhile she feels guilted into putting up with said shit from said bloke, and finds it really painful when she finally realises - like you have - that it has to stop. These users should come with a massive warning tatooed on their bloody foreheads!

@candycane222
Yes they should and it’s so hard to control. I’ve never used his DC to fill the void of my MCs, whilst I’ve been accused of this by So called friends.
But I think when young children live under your roof, you naturally start caring and loving them. Over time you become more and more involved in their life, and take on more responsibility. But then it’s awful when it’s taken away, as whilst you have no PR for that child, your naturally feel lost. Whilst I will also stand by the fact they didn’t fill the void of the MC, the thought of loosing them has opened all of the old wounds and feelings I had.

Oh Fresh, I'm not surprised that it has had that effect. How tough for you.

Of course it's nonsense to say they were "filling a gap" though - I became very fond of many dcs who were not my own, long before I wanted any myself. It's just a natural human relationship.

So was trying to do NC, to give us both a break from each other. But last night he was collecting something from a Client and needed the address. So he contacted me. I replied with the address, and that’s it.
But he tried to make conversation, which I’ve ignored.

I’ve taken 2 weeks off work, as I can’t go into work if my mind isn’t focused on the task. I’ve been to my GP and received support. I’ve packed his things. The next step is to do the DSC belongings.

Too make matters worse their pet rabbit has died!

Still no idea who is collecting the SDC from school, but it’s not me.

OP you're amazing! Well done. You are doing the right thing x

I just can’t believe it’s come to all this.
I’ve got to contact the mortgage people and let them know we won’t be proceeding with our house purchase, and the solicitors.
Need to contact the travel agents and see if I can cancel our holidays, we have 3 booked for this year. 2 just for us and another “family” holiday in the summer.

Just seems like it’s throwing away so much, and what was such a great relationship and future for us both.

You are not throwing anything away..He is.

But that's his choice and he is entitled to it Will he regret it? Who knows, I think men like him never find true happiness as if needs to start from within.

It will be tough, break ups are horrible but equally you will gain strength from knowing you deserve better.
I promise you will look back and be glad you had firm boundaries.