Gay app on boyfriend's phone

[HappyHappySunshine]

I need to talk. I found the grindr app on the 'Siri suggestions' part of his iPhone lock screen. It was there then disappeared before my eyes, which I think means he was using it last night when I went to bed, and then he's deleted it 🙈 I've confronted him, but he denies using the app. I don't know what to think. I feel ill and my head is a mess 😣

Have you had any suspicions before now?

It may just have been a Siri suggestion?

I’ve had apps I’ve never used suggested to me.

I wouldn’t worry about it to be honest, unless you see other signs.

He's admitted to watching porn last night on his phone 🙈 do you think that could be why it's come up in Siri suggestions?
I found messages on his phone a few months ago which he'd sent to a girl he knew from school which were pretty crude 🙈 but nothing to do with guys.

If he’s downloaded Grindr and then deleted it, go to the App Store as if to download it again and if he once had it it will show as a cloud symbol rather then saying “install”. Ask him to show you, if he has nothing to hide, he will.

I got him to do that and it was the cloud with the arrow. He said he used it before he met me to hook up with girls and that's why it was previously downloaded. But I thought it was a gay app? And why is it coming up in his 'Siri suggests'? I don't know what to think 🤯

It's definitely a gay app. No girls on there.

Definitely not for finding girls on.
Was he trying to hook up with this girl?
At.best he sounds dishonest, creepy sending rude messages to girls and definitely bi-curious.

At worst he is all of the above plus trying to cheat and/or already cheating.

I think this guy needs to bw dumped. Pretty quickly. What's your situation? Do you live with him?

He is lying, it is a gay app and has obviously downloaded it before. He might be bisexual, but obviously if he is using it whilst you are together that is not ok!

You definitely can’t use Grindr to find girls

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grindr

Gay app and sending crude messages to another woman! I'm afraid he would have to go!

I've used Grindr and the only people on there who are remotely close to girls are transgender guys before they've had surgery.

99% are married guys on there. Sorry OP.

I'm sure you can do better than him. Being single would be better than being with him.

Surely this is the final straw? Considering he was also sending crude messages to a girl. I really hope you are using protection.

I found Grindr on my ex’s phone. Turned out he was gay and he’s now living with his boyfriend. If it looks like duck and it walks like a duck, it’s a duck.

Do you have a problem with him being bisexual?

Do you have a problem with him being bisexual?

Not answering for the OP, but surely the important question is whether she has a problem with her boyfriend lying to her, sending explicit messages to other people or using hook-up apps whilst in a (I’m assuming) supposedly monogamous relationship with her.

The hook ups were before we got together. He's never cheated on me, only flirted with a girl on fb messenger. I know that's sometimes enough to call it a day, and I almost did. But things have been really good between us since then. I'm thinking he's bi-curious 🙈 I don't know how to process this. I need to figure out what I want. I want to believe him when he says he's not been on the app and that the Siri suggestion was as he said. But at the same time I find that hard to believe 😬

It's hard to believe OP because it's a lie.

In the App Store the app has the cloud next to it which means he has downloaded it then deleted it at some point. To hide it from you?

Really this is enough to call it a day if you want to.

He is lying about having ever used it - this is plenty for you to say "enough, we are finished"

Sorry I missed the part of the post where he admitted to using it but to hook up with girls...... HUGE LIE. he is lying!!!

He’s outright lying and thinks you’re an idiot who will believe that he used Grindr, a well-known gay male hookup app, to meet women.

That’s the evidence you have to go on really isn’t it. There’s a reason it’s hard to believe.

We've been together 2 years and we live together. What a mess. Insider looking in, I'd be saying the exact same as you. I think I need him to go stay with his parents for a few days so I can figure out how I'm going to deal with this.

App suggestions are usually (for me) the last 3 or 4 apps I've used, for example mine is WhatsApp, Instagram, Reddit and Facebook. When I come off this app, if I lock my phone and look again, I'm 99% sure Mumsnet will be there.

Maybe he is bi-curious. I think the best thing to do is to sit him down and try and have an open and honest conversation about it, it could strengthen you relationship, instead of going in all guns blazing, where he's more likely to hide things from you.

You both definitely need to sit and talk. Siri app suggestions show the most recently used apps, they’re not for advertising new apps. He needs to be honest with you. You must be so confused and hurt right now, I’m sorry you’re going through this

Grinder is a gay ap.

Hes a liar and a cheat, but you know this already don't you?

Does he have to be caught balls deep in someone before you draw the line?