Watching your partner have sex

[Pigeonpies]

My DP and I are fairly open minded when it comes to sexual experiences and lately we’ve been discussing the idea of him watching me have sex with another man.

Does any one have any experiences like this? Was there any jealousy or weirdness after the event?
We’ve both agreed we’d have to be in a secure frame of mind before actually ever doing it.
Just wondering your thoughts or experiences?

:)

You would be better posting on the sec board.

*sex

We’ve all done it OP......

Some couples do and it’s a real turn on for them. But for others it’s destroyed them for the sake of a 10 min sex session.
It’s one of those ideas which can be great as a fantasy, but in real life could end up destroying what you have.
I’d ask myself how much I loved my dp/dh and if I would risk spoiling what we have.

I’d also be thinking, is my husband suggesting this so he gets a free pass to have sex with another woman, and the fact he doesn’t mind another guy having sex with me could mean he’s not that bothered about me.

This may not be the case, but it’s a thought.
Can you detach sex with another from ‘being intimate with your dh and visa versa.

Only you can answer this, but my guess is, you won’t be able to answer it until you’ve tried it.

I think you need the Sex board - I personally don’t have any experience of “ hot wife” but there’s quite a lot of information out there about it. I know a guy who has been the “ bull” in that situation. He was paid by the couple so wasn’t emotionally involved with them. On occasions the partner / husband would just watch and on other times he would join in so I suppose you need to think about your expectations. My friend was involved in the group / swinging scene too so I don’t imagine a threesome was very unusual from his point of view.

@NameChangeNugget I've just died 😂😂😂

Daily mail again 🙄

We had a discussion about this at work.

In the words of my lovely colleague. "That's just lazy. Why cant he do it himself."

You mean actually keep the lights on?

🤮🤢🤮🤮🤢🤮🤮🤢🤮

@joanmcc and goes back to the slightly saner world of AIBU...

In all seriousness OP you'll get better advice on the sex forum. If you haven't yet been a member for (I think) 3 months you won't be allowed to post there though. Nothing personal but fairly obviously it was attracting trolls!

@TaliZorahVasNormandy sorry only just seen your comment!

🤦‍♀️

@joanmcc, a friend of mine swears blind she takes her nightie off, too!

Go to a swingers club, or a sex party... See how flirting with others makes you/him feel before you go any further.

It could be a lot of fun and actually bring your closer.
I don’t kniw how 10min of consensual and ore-agreed experience can ‘destroy’ a relationship.
Lies or hiding does.
This can turn out not as it is in a fantasy. But it’s an experience.

THERE'S A SEX TOPIC. Try posting there if you're looking for wank material

Consent .
Open.
Boundaries.
No drugs / alcohol
Safe.
Continued consent.

@babasaclover
nope 🙄

@twattymctwatterson

Mumsnet is the last placed I’d come for wank material 🙄

To the rest who have gave actual insight, thank you for your comments/experience

I agree, consent, no alcohol, boundaries and maybe start off with something ‘low grade’ to get an idea

When I thought about this (as the third party myself) I thought about a sex club set up. Never have done it yet. But that might allow you to dip a foot in without actually directly involving others straight away?

@Pigeonpies plenty do. You just have to look at the number of deleted threads to see that. Any particular reason why you asked this in AIBU?

I've heard bad stuff where the guy pushes it as a reason for him to go have sex wig another woman.
.
However !! I know a number of people who have done this and it's fine! Though they ease into it like going to swingers and sex parties:

1. Go and only do stuff with eachother
2. Watch other couples have sex together
3. Ease in maybe just kissing and see how that makes you both feel

And so on x

Romeo and Juliet this ain't.

My own view, is that if you are really in love with your Partner, that this would literally be the last thing on earth you'd want to do/see. I would be so hurt.

Who suggested it first, you or him? I'll wager it was him, which makes me think that he sees you as no more than a sexual commodity.

Where would you go from here? Would you have to keep doing more and more hardcore "stuff" to get your kicks?

Can he not just have normal sex? If not, why?

Does he want to join in? If so, he's Bisexual (relationship ender for me).

It's not a rabbit hole I'd want to go down. I think you might end up feeling cheap and used.

@twattymctwatterson

I didn’t, I asked in relationships because it’s related to my relationship.

How would anyone see deleted threads, out of interest?