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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH just called me a c*nt, a b*tch and a wh*re

41 replies

pereraelsewhere · 16/01/2019 19:36

My DH's behaviour has been steadily getting worse.

This evening, he was drunk and walked into our baby's highchair and then kicked it against the wall. I put it back and removed his jumper from it and he went crazy, and called me the above words.

He has also recently broken a door in anger and he regularly calls me names. He picks on me all of the time, and tries to control what I eat/drink/wear. Even how often I wash.

He is a sex addict and when I say no, he'll not see a reason to be around me anymore.

He doesn't care in the slightest when I get upset - he calls me a pansy, and weak, and says that I'm victimising myself.

I'm just so worn down by it all. I hate him.

OP posts:
Chrissmasjammies · 16/01/2019 19:37

Leave him and your life will improve in spades

Lottapianos · 16/01/2019 19:38

That's disgusting OP. I'm not surprised you hate him. If you don't feel safe right now, please phone the police

Bananalanacake · 16/01/2019 19:40

From what I have learnt on here abuse gets worse after you have a baby, is that the case here.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 16/01/2019 19:40

OP read back your words. If someone else had written them, what would you say?

You don’t deserve that.

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 16/01/2019 19:41

You need to leave. Do you have anywhere to go? Or as a pp says, call the police and have him removed.

cheesywotnots · 16/01/2019 19:43

Get in touch with womens aid, this is abuse, don't put up with it, has he got any good qualities? Are you in a position to leave.

Walnutwhipster · 16/01/2019 19:43

I hope you gain the strength to do what you know you need to.

colditz · 16/01/2019 19:48

He's not going to turn back into the nice man he used to be. He's too used to getting his own way by abusing you.

Please get away from him because if you don't, he will start hurting the baby and upsetting the baby just to get at you. Contact an organisation called womesaid.

Kittykat93 · 16/01/2019 19:56

The fact you have to ask this question is awful.

You must know he's abusing you. And he will also abuse your baby.

Get out for both of your sakes.

mummyyessy · 16/01/2019 19:58

OP this is awful. Firstly, a hug for you.

But you know what you must do. This is not acceptable for you, or for your children. You must find a way to leave. There is support out here - women's aid, benefits.

MumsyJ · 16/01/2019 19:59

You need to protect yourself and your DC. Seek legal advice, contact all the necessary/ relevant authorities. Your DH behaviour is only going to get worse.
My advice; LEAVE! Nobody (man or woman) should be a recipient of any form of abuse.

Thisnamechanger · 16/01/2019 20:01

He sound like a horrible brute - you poor thing x

NotANotMan · 16/01/2019 20:01

Women's aid or national domestic violence helpline
They will help you leave him safely

AndTheSkyWasAllViolet · 16/01/2019 20:03

How often you wash? What the?? Not the rest is not equally bad, but that was just different and made me think wtf.

You need to leave him. This is not safe for you or your DC.

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 16/01/2019 20:08

Oh, and he isn't a 'sex addict' he's just using sex to objectify and abuse you, like all the other stuff he does.

ltk · 16/01/2019 20:10

Rarely is it so easy to say LTB. Really, LTB.

jessstan2 · 16/01/2019 20:14

He is a disgusting, abusive apology for a man.

You deserve better, please get rid asap, seek professional advice and work out finances.

Flowers
nomoremrsniceguy · 16/01/2019 20:14

Get him out of your home. You will still be putting up with this shit and worse years from now if you don't. By then he will have caused you no end of stress and misery. Your child should not be brought up in that sort of environment and you don't have to put up with it. Get him out.

CrazySheepLady · 16/01/2019 20:18

If you feel in imminent danger, OP, please call the Police. As others have advised, please also get in touch with Women's Aid. You and your child(ren) need to be away from this man. There seems little chance his behaviour will improve; it will probably get worse.

You don't deserve to be controlled, coerced into sex or to be spoken to in the way you have described.

SheldonTheWonderShlong · 16/01/2019 20:19

HE is the cunt. LTB.

Candace19 · 16/01/2019 20:20

You know what you need to do

Paddy1234 · 16/01/2019 20:25

I usually sit on the fence
Not in this case
Leave him

Mary1935 · 16/01/2019 20:28

Hi Pere he’s is abusive. How old is your baby or children. You really need to contact women’s aid. It can be hard to get through. If you google your local women’s aid you may get a number for a local branch.
Is he like this when he’s sober?
Do you have anyone in real life you can confide in.
Has he ever hit you?
I’m sure you won’t but do not leave him in sole care of the children,
I’m sorry your going through this.
Who’s name is on the tenancy or do you own.
Also are you aiming to go back to work once the babies old enough (if you did work) as you need your own finances if you can.
He’s definitely abusive and he is very very unlikely to change.🌺🌺

CupoBlood · 16/01/2019 21:49

Please leave. I did and am so glad everyday that I did.

Lulumush · 16/01/2019 22:10

None of us are professionals but there are plenty at Women's Aid who you can talk to confidentially. I'd recommend doing that. They will help you understand your position, and give you options which will then enable you to make the right decision for you and your child. You and your child's safety is paramount here.