Is this a 'no go' situation?

[Sunshineandflipflops]

Hi
So very brief story as I'm bored of hearing myself talk about it now but I split with my husband of 13 years just over a year ago when I found out he was having an affair with a younger woman at work (they are still together). We 'get on' for our two children's sake but will never be friends as he broke my heart.
He has had a friend who I have known for years but hardly seen as they know each other through previous work. He helped us move house a couple of times and has always been lovely. He has also been divorced for a few years. We have always been 'friends' on social media but more recently he has asked how I am, etc on there and after quite a long a conversation via social media PM's we exchanged numbers and have been chatting a bit (mostly about how we are, online dating stories, etc).

He hasn't seen my ex for months and has made it quite clear he doesn't agree with what he did and thinks he's a fool.

I guess my question is I don't know if this is just a friendship thing as we're both in similar positions in life at the moment or if he feels anything more and if he did, do I steer clear because of who he is?

Oh, that’s a shame.

For some people the online/text flirting is something that makes them feel desirable & connected, but without any commitment or risk of getting hurt. He sounds like he’s been quite hurt by past relationships and isn’t ready to put himself out there again (yet). He sounds pretty down on himself.

You can do as you’ve said, or you can just enjoy it for what it is for now. Who knows what the future holds. Nothing to say he won’t decide to try dating again, nothing to say you won’t meet someone else. Nothing needs to change about you working on being happy and content, you can do that whether you talk to him or not...

Thank you. He is very down on himself. Although I have know him years, I don't know the extent of what has gone on with his relationships. I know his marriage ended as mistakes were made on both sides and although they are divorced, they are friends now. He said he was with someone else after that and she broke his heart but that's all I know and it sounds like he has resigned himself to a life of being alone as a result. He is the same age as me (40) and although I don't want to be with someone just for the sake of it, I am also not ready to give up on the idea that I might meet someone one day!
I'm going to back off and see what happens but i'm not into game playing and mixed messages and I also don't need someone else to 'fix' as I tried that with my ex and look where that got me.

Well, after all the chatting and flirting, it was entirely reasonable and appropriate for you to suggest going for a drink.

He absolutely sounded interested, but obviously enjoys an ongoing ‘ego-boost by screen’ without any real world interaction.

That wouldn’t be for me, either.

I think some people like online flirty banter and chat as a way of avoiding real relationships for whatever reason

Well, seems I'm crap at taking a step back and clearly I enjoy the flirty banter as much as he does because it started again last night.
He did make a comment that he thinks he and my ex wouldn't be friends if we dated so I guess he has given it some thought.

In conclusion, i think flirty banter is all it's going to be but I have nothing or no-one better to spend my evenings doing at the moment so I'll just enjoy it for what it it!

If it's working for both of you as it is then no harm done.
Enjoy it.