Would you give him the chance to explain?

[meghanmarkle3]

Last April I met a guy and we messaged for about 3 weeks before we met up.
We had two really good dates and arranged another for the Saturday.
I text him on the Saturday asking what he fancied doing and he said a meal.
I text saying what time shall we meet and where?
Never heard from him again.
He was on Facebook but did not acknowledge me.
Got to September he sent me a friend request (I deleted him after the incident ) so I ignored it.
He then text me in October saying hello.
I ignored it.
Last night he sends me another message on f/b saying (my name I would really like to talk to you please)
Would you bother?
Let him explain?
Or not even worth it?

Nope forget him, obv very unreliable or in other relationships

He is a time waster and not worth it.

I wouldn't bother. No matter what the excuse ultimately he was OK with being rude to you. I am a chronic non-responder myself. I would be a CF if I expected others to bother with me if I couldn't be arsed with them. He could have sent you a message apologising and explaining but he hasn't. I guess it didn't work out with the other woman.

Yeah that's true.
I would feel like a idiot if I messaged him back too.

Absolutely not. Set your own worth and stick to it or prepare to be treated accordingly. Leave this utter bellend for some other lucky gal. Not for you. Better luck next time xx

I would be tempted to think that he was dating another woman at the same time as you, and he "chose" her after a couple of dates with both of you. Then perhaps she chucked him in September and he thought he would try his luck with you again.

But then again, he has tried to contact you a few times over several months, which could, if you gave him the benefit of the doubt, indicate a more genuine interest. Maybe something catastrophic happened with his family or whatever after your second date - but he could still at least have told you instead of going completely NC.

I would probably be curious enough to give him the chance to explain, but reserve the right to block and delete if I didn't find his explanation convincing. How hurt were you at the time, and how much would it mess with your head if he did the same thing to you again?

I wasn't really hurt as such as I had only been out with him twice but had been chatting every day for a month.
I was more baffled if anything,I didn't know what I did wrong.
He went from the week before saying all the
"I could of kissed your forever"
And
"You look so beautiful blah blah "
To disappearing with no reason.
I guess my ego was bruised.

Sounds like a love-bomber! We're all different, and I would probably want to know why he had gone off like that - although I probably wouldn't want him back. If it were me, I would start a FB conversation and ask him to explain himself, then I'd most likely sack him off and block him unless he had a VERY plausible explanation. I don't think it's necessarily lacking in self-respect to look for answers about something that left you baffled and your ego bruised. But I seem to be in a minority!

I would give him the benefit of the doubt and a chance to explain in case he was bereaved or something

I’d reply to his message with 2 words. If you don’t want to swear these could simply be “no thanks”

Funny thing is, when my father died I had a functional illness that paralysed me down my left side. I was still able to text with my right hand.

He's got no bloody excuse, and if he did, he could have sent an honest explanation straight off in September.

What he's doing is what loads of men do - contact their 'fallback girls' every time they have nothing better to do and no-one they rate better to do it with. The OP won't be the only one on the receiving end of these messages.

OP, it isn't you. It's him. You are worth WAY more than being someone's fallback.

He's not even worth a reply. Block him and forget him.

Ignore, he is probably sniffing around you and others hoping for a booty call.

In this situation, no I wouldn't bother replying.
In fact, I'd block him.

I wouldn't respond either. He wasn't that keen last time and he fucked off but now he thinks he can come back like nothing ever happened? I don't think so.

Dignified silence every time. It will drive him mad knowing that ultimately, you're not interested enough to even listen to whatever bullshit explanation he's cobbled together and thus give him an 'in'.

I'd make him explain.

And then tell him to fuck off.

I wouldn't text. Imagine him sat there thinking you're bound to text back as he said he needs to speak to you after you've ignored him a few months

He's probably got his reply all lined up to sweet talk you back haha

There is no reasonable explanation, short of him being in a Coma.

IGNORE.

It didn't work out with the other girl opoff he trots.

I'd be curious about the explanation and would then tell him where to go.

He has got nothing better to do when he messages you. Keep ignoring.

Nope. Even assuming something awful happened in May, it does not take 4 months for the dust to settle and explain yourself.

Continue to ignore. He's obviously not blocked, so there's nothing stopping him from sending you an explanation anyway. He just wants to know he can get your attention first.

I could of kissed your forever

Is that a euphemism? Also, he’s illiterate but more than anything he’s trying his luck with one of his back-ups from months ago, as others have spotted.

I wouldn’t respond. There are better men out there.

Definitely let him explain.

By any chance did things get 'physical' he may be trying to let you know he has a STI

Leave him on read. Nothing more frustrating than knowing your messages have been seen but don’t merit a response