Would you give him the chance to explain?

[meghanmarkle3]

Last April I met a guy and we messaged for about 3 weeks before we met up.
We had two really good dates and arranged another for the Saturday.
I text him on the Saturday asking what he fancied doing and he said a meal.
I text saying what time shall we meet and where?
Never heard from him again.
He was on Facebook but did not acknowledge me.
Got to September he sent me a friend request (I deleted him after the incident ) so I ignored it.
He then text me in October saying hello.
I ignored it.
Last night he sends me another message on f/b saying (my name I would really like to talk to you please)
Would you bother?
Let him explain?
Or not even worth it?

Dont bother waiting for an explanation its likely to be a lie. Read and ignore. It was only TWO dates!

I'm now more inclined towards the point Giesabreak has made. If he's been able to send you messages for all this time, he could at any point have explained his behaviour. Why does he need you to respond before he does that? It all seems very "Please give me your attention so I can make this very important proclamation". I probably wouldn't bother, or I would just send a response that says "please either say whatever it is you want to say, or stop pestering me." Or just block him and forget all about him.

I'd respond for the sake of womankind something like this: "When you ghosted me back in April you made me feel really bad, then I moved on. Please think twice before doing that to someone again."

He probably wouldn't respond but hopefully you'd give him something to mull over.

I honestly think that more people need to call out that sort of thing.

Don’t waste your time.

Ignore.

He's probably just after a booty call.

He hasn't apologised or even acknowledged ghosting you; just fired off random 'Hello's etc.

Waste of time. Save your time for someone who deserves it!

Ignore and block

Nope. You're NOT available! He's non existent!

I’d let him explain for sure if I had liked him. You don’t have to believe or accept his excuse. Anything could of happened.

Tbh i would hear him out 🤷🏻‍♀️ You can make a choice of keeping in touch or saying Thank you & goodbye ..

He had a better option. That is no longer happening so he will try you again. Don't bother replying. He had his chance he didn't think you were worth it then he isn't now.

I wouldn't give him a second of my head space, wanker. Ignore.

Ignore and block.

Making excuses and giving people like this the benefit of the doubt is what gets so many women in toxic relationships.

"I would really like to talk to you please' is annoying. If he's got something to say, why must YOU go out of your way to hear it? He could send you a message saying, "I'm really sorry about what happened in April. x, y, z happened and I'd like to try again." But the bleating about how he needs to talk to you etc etc is pathetic.

You COULD respond with, "I'm not really interested in chatting but you're welcome to message me with anything you think I need to know." But only if you're particularly interested in hearing it. Otherwise he should get stuffed.

I do get annoyed at people who want my attention but aren't willing to properly open the door. "Please call me". Why? What do you need from me? Even with friends, we'd leave a message that says, "just calling for a chat, give me a call when you get a chance." Instructions to "call" or similar really get my back up, no matter who they are from.

Ask him what's up and if he wants another go, say sorry I'm seeing someone.

I agree with Bling - if he’s sending messages, he could just say whatever it is he’s got to say.

You’re not interested in him, right? I think you’re doing that human thing of being curious but really you already know what happened and his behaviour tells you everything you need to know already.

Although I’d be sorely tempted to send a ‘no idea who you are...’ message

I would but that's because I would want to know what happened. It doesn't mean you have to continue chatting but at least you know what happened.
He could be completely honest with you.
I'm sure we have all made decisions and then regretted them. The fact he's tried on more then one occasion would make me at least hear him out but then decide from there If I wanted to speak to him again.

You dodged a bullet. No one wants a guy who writes 'could of'. Shudder.

If there were a genuine explanation he would have just said so. E.g., 'I am so sorry for blowing you off. I had a death in the family and lost track of everything else. Please accept my apologies.' Instead of demanding an audience with you. What a jerk.

If I really liked someone, had that instant click with them and really fancied them too then there isn’t a single circumstance I can think of that would lead to me ghosting them.
To be blunt... he wasn’t that into you otherwise he’d have maintained contact and it’s likely he’s getting back in touch because he’s run out of options or he’s bored. I know he said nice things to you previously but listen to his actions not his words. Words are cheap.

Don’t get into a discussion with him, you deserve so much better and in all honesty, if he wasn’t that bothered before then he’s not going to be now either.

@Waytooearly

Actually, that’s a very good point. I love mn for this as one can learn so much!

Arrange to meet him. Wait for him to contact you to confirm.......and then you ignore him.

Why does life slways have to be do complicated. It’s not as though any of us think, oooh, I love s bit of complication!???!!!!

You can usually tell what someone is thinking by their actions. It’s very obvious someone better came along and has since probably dumped him. He couldn’t be bothered with you at the time and was very rude, just block and ignore.