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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Punched, bleeding nose 5 hours on, should I go A&E?

67 replies

123qw · 14/01/2019 20:51

Ok so don't really know exactly where to start...OH punched me in the face earlier on while I had LO in my hand.

LO fell of sofa OH came running picked LO up , I took LO off him and was comforting LO. He then clenched his fists and started getting angry, i said why are you clenching your fist move away from me please, i gave LO and told him to wash his face to cool him down, he took him and decides to throw everything that was in the storage draws on the floor, threw washing too, i followed behind and asked why he felt the need to throw everything on the floor on purpose, i told him to give me LO but he kept moving away from me and not giving me LO blaming me for LO falling even though he left LO there and never told me. He eventually gave me LO and continued to rant, he then punched me in the face while I was holding LO in my arm. I screamed at the initial pain then cried there was blood all over. I started to feel light headed and had no choice but to give him LO and lower myself to the floor as I could fèel my body going numb. I lay curled up on the floor in my own blood for what felt like ages but was about 20 mins. While I was on the floor I could hear him talking to LO asking him if he felt ok from the fall. I managed to eventually get up and go to LO. LO was ok but kept staring at all the blood on my face. OH kept saying your scaring LO go and clean your self up. I said no LO needs to see what you have done to me....

The last few months have been really bad each time it gets worse though. LO is feeling fine from the fall ive been keeping a very close eye. My face on the other hand really hurts, my nose is still very sore and still bleading. I don't really want to go hospital to get it checked as I'm scared they'll asked questions, so I'm thinking of making an appointment at GP, will they ask me what happened? I'm scared that they will put it down on file. My ultimate fear is that they will take LO away from me

OP posts:
fikel · 14/01/2019 21:42

Leave do you want to end up another murder victim perpetrated by a partner?
❤️

Sprinkles212 · 14/01/2019 21:49

What is worse:

You remaining where you are, being beaten with your child under the same roof and you potentially being killed during a beating; with your child under the same roof.

Your child seeing all of this unfold

And then your child learning when he/she is older that you remained with the man that ultimately killed you and took you away from him/her?

OR

I am certain there was a time when you would have said that your partner would not ever lay a finger on you, yes?

Well are you certain that he will never lay a finger on your child in a fit of rage?

OR

You access some support, there is a lot out there, put yours and your child's safety first and regardless of how hard it is, leave this pathetic excuse of a man and rebuild your life.

Remain as you are and nothing changes, ever.

And this may seem dramatic but based on your situation this is a very real reality for you and your child.
You can fix a nose bleed, you can't fix anything once you're dead. And there is more chance of your child being removed from you IF you remain in this situation with someone who is abusing you because ultimately, your baby is at high risk of harm.

Do something now, it will be ok.

grinchypants · 14/01/2019 21:51

OP you need to be safe with your baby and you need that now.

If you can safely leave the house and go to hospital without making him angry then do that.

If you can't, try and keep as calm as you can and call the police from your phone, if you either cough or press 55 they will send officers without you needing to say anything and alert dp.
Do it, wait a few moments and make sure your front door is unlocked with no keys inside, and if you can go and wait on the front for police to come.

They will sort the rest from there. They will sort him leaving and officers being there to collect your things, and maintaining your safety.

Please be aware that if you don't do this now, if you're not brave enough to do this now, as hard as it may be, If you don't take a breath and a leap and be brave and do this today, it's going to be very difficult to prove in the future, he may hurt you again, he may kill you.
He may fight you for child contact and they may argue you are lying about this assault because police weren't called at the time, social services might ask why you didn't protect your child at the time.
I'm not saying this to scare you, I'm just saying this is your chance to run and keep your little one safe. Please please do that. There is so much support

FarAwayFromTheMidnightAir · 14/01/2019 21:52

What in the world kind of benefits can you think of for your DC seeing this? That shit scars you forever. Leave now, and take your baby with you. If you don't feel you can go to hospital, have you got a relative or friend nearby? Get yourselves both to a place of safety. But really, I'd call the police. That's the safest course of action for you both. Been in a similar situation and the police were amazing.

Chocolateislife88 · 14/01/2019 21:55

I'm so sorry. You need to get away from him and you need to report him to the police.
I know it's hard to leave an abusive relationship, but you cannot allow someone to treat you in this way and your LO certainly should not be witnessing something like this or be in this kind of environment.

Omgineedanamechange · 14/01/2019 22:04

How old is this poor child that you think “needs to see” his mother injured?

You need to protect him, and get him the fuck out of there, right now.

meow1989 · 14/01/2019 22:07

If it's safe to do so, please call the police, you need to protect your child from this situation. If it is not safe to do so then please start making a plan to leave when you can, will he be out of the house any time? Is there somewhere you can go?

This situation is not your fault, however you have a responsibility to protect your child, he needs his mummy to keep him safe from the emotional abuse of week v your be hurt, and the potential physical abuse of being caught up between the two of you like he was earlier.

meow1989 · 14/01/2019 22:08

Seeing not week v

zenasfuck · 14/01/2019 22:09

Seriously, call the police
He has seriously assaulted you, shown no concern for the safety of your child

Get out before he kills you

Call the police, they will take you somewhere to get medical care and keep you safe

SoaringSwallow · 14/01/2019 22:11

OP go to hospital. With your DC. Tell them everything that happened. He may have broken your nose if it's still bleeding and that needs to be seen by a doctor.

It's scary, but not as scary as what hell do to you next time. Thanks

CrispbuttyNo1 · 14/01/2019 22:12

What type of scum punches his partner while she is holding their child? I hope by now you have rung the police and are getting him charged because this situation will get worse.

StarrySky7 · 14/01/2019 22:16

OP, you of course need to leave him, cut contact, and take your child with you. Call the police.

TokyoSushi · 14/01/2019 22:28

Oh OP, this is horrific, you must do something about it, for your child's sake if not your own.

Please at the very least call women's aid, but ideally go to A&E and they will help you. You can't live like this. Thanks

thecatjumpedoverthemoon · 14/01/2019 22:36

123qw - I am so sorry this has happened to you and your LO. You didn't serve it and this is not your fault. You must be so confused and scared. Now is the time to dig deep and gather strength to take action as soon as you possibly can, to do what deep down you know you must do, to keep you and your LO safe. You are not safe and it is your duty to protect your LO. If you can't find the strength to protect yourself then find it for him/her. Sadly if you don't, then you are allowing this violent bully to not only physically harm you and emotionally harm you and your LO you are allowing him the opportunity for you to lose your child. This will only happen if you show yourself to be incapable of protecting your child. If you don't then someone else will need to step in to protect them. Be your child's hero and get out of there, you can do this and we are all behind you. There is no good that can come from your child witnessing your injuries, but to witness a strong and powerful mother who found the strength to protect them against the odds will be the greatest gift you could do for them and importantly yourself too. That strength is in there, find it and take action now. Don't let him take anything else from you.

Renarde1975 · 14/01/2019 22:41

OP. If youre reading thus. Pick up your LO and walj out of your house. If that route means you can grab your purse and or mobile then do it otherwise forget about them. Go immediately to a neighbour and call police. Ambulence will be automatically dispatched.

SandyY2K · 14/01/2019 22:42

I hope you've gone to the police and the hospital.

cestlavielife · 14/01/2019 22:46

Hospital with dc now
Police
Report
Police will arrest and remove him
Separate for good

cestlavielife · 14/01/2019 22:47

If you get away now with dc they can help you
Stay and you get killed

Thequaffle · 14/01/2019 22:48

Leave OP. Go to the hospital and tell them everything. This man will kill you. This man will ruin your baby’s mental health and life. Please update when you can. Xxx

grinchypants · 14/01/2019 22:49

Also hoping you have gone to the hospital or called the police op.
If you feel comfortable to say roughly where you are I'd happily help in any way I could or point you in the right direction of support.

StarUtopia · 14/01/2019 22:51

They will take LO away from you if you continue like this as you are putting her at risk too..

You HAVE to ring the police NOW and report this. Whilst you are still injured. If you don't, it will go against you and then SS will have concerns over your ability to protect your child.

This is you chance. Please don't miss it. You need to leave this abusive man now.

TokyoSushi · 14/01/2019 22:56

Listen to @thecatjumpedoverthemoon Very wise words Thanks

grinchypants · 14/01/2019 23:03

Please op this is not your fault,make that call

frenchchick9 · 14/01/2019 23:06

Ring the police. If someone punched you in the street, you'd report them. This man is meant to love you above all others.
But he hates you.
He could kill you.
So get yourself and LO out of there.
LO could be taken away frm you if you stay with this man.
POlice will arrest him.

ree348 · 14/01/2019 23:25

I hope you've got yourself checked out and are somewhere safe.

Please leave this man and leave quickly.