Shouting at me and calling me names because I won't let his dogs come round. Is this normal?

[DIYDoldrums]

DP's dogs shit, piss and vomit indoors. Regularly. In my last rental property I had to pay £300 to get the carpet cleaned when leaving.

I've bought a house which is a new build and brand new. DP has his own house. We don't live together. I have said from the start that they can't come here. Mostly because I have DC's and they are a health hrisk. He's gone off one tonight, shouting and swearing at me that I'm selfish, a bad mother and getting back together when we split up was a mistake. That I expect the world to revolve around me. I am not compromising on this. I compromise in other stuff but I'm not backing down in this. AIBU?

He's left in a huff. I told him that I wouldn't allow my DC's to soil in someone else's home and it's not selfish to expect my hard won home to feel like my space, that I have control over and keep it hygienic. That is ridiculous apparently!

I have no idea what I've supposed to have done wrong! It's like I've acted a complete cunt. But I basically asserted myself. It's taken me years to be able to do that. And it's ridiculous apparently. Jesus.

Bye, Felipe

How old are your children?
Were they witness to the abuse ?

People can be like the over their dogs. LTB

Annoyed that his plan to move in by stealth didn't pay off? After all, how could the OP say no to anything after all the hard work he did she didn't ask for?

You're a bad match and completely incompatible. If someone didn't want my animals around, I'd show them the door (and I have in the past) Just leave him and let him find someone who doesn't think his dogs are a health risk.

Why are they puking are they ill

It's only normal for a dickhead with the emotional continence of a bear that just stood on lego.

Ilove I can understand it but I have consistently maintained (after having to shell out £300 from my own pocket as a consequence of the dogs at my rental property) that they wouldn't be welcome at my new house. This isn't need to him and he accepted it. The carpets etc are brand new. I just can not face coming down in the morning to shit on my carpet and dog hair everywhere. I saved 12k for this house. He doesn't contribute money to it? He shares 'custody' of the dogs with his ex. So she has them a lot. But when it comes down to it, I just don't want them here. I didn't choose to have them?

Ugh, I'm so glad you've got rid of him. I couldn't bear having that in my house.

They puke because they eat rats/squirrels/birds when his ex lets them go in the woods.

I've mopped up too much lumpy vomit and poo. I'm done with it. Neither him or his ex look after them well. I have 3 DC's, a stressful FT job and a house. I used to walk them and feed them when he laid in bed until 4pm. But I refuse to do that anymore.

MissLanes dog shit in living space IS a health risk. I don't think you can argue that.

If someone didn't want my animals around, I'd show them the door

Do you let your dog's piss, shit and puke everywhere.

Well, he’s given you an out there! Take it with both hands and don’t have him, or his dogs, in your nice new house again 👍

His standards are so low - raise yours and bin the filthy fucker! Jesus he sounds rancid.

Hmmm, do you maybe think he thought he was playing the slow game and trying to get his feet under the table to move in with you?
I read your other thread about all the DIY he was doing. He wanted the dogs at your new house. I’d be suspicious.

Definitely playing the long game. He even said 'I thought you'd change your mind's nah mate.

gamerchick, no, we have cats, actually. However, the same would apply if we had dogs or ferrets!

How long you been with him?

Just read your other thread OP.
He's 'marking' your territory by trying to make himself indispensable by doing jobs for you.
He's also letting his dogs mark your territory too!
He basically thinks that what yours is his and he does not see the boundaries.
So it up to you to set firm boundaries with him which can be really difficult when they won't take no for answer.

It's difficult to assert yourself when you have been in a previous abusive relationship, but you need to keep him at arms length and don't allow him to invade your personal space so much because he seems like a bit of control freak disguised as being helpful.

The fact that he has thrown a hissy fit about the dogs does give you an idea about how he sees you and your brand new home in the bigger scheme of things.

We've been together 3 years. Everything has been okay until I bought my new house gone a bit wrong since.

It’s because he is jealous of you. Jealous of your house, jealous you don’t have dogs, jealous of you doing something nice for yourself.

His house must be vile.

I’d let him go off and have his sulk and use this opportunity to call it a day.

You and your dcs don’t need the stress.

Don't let his dogs crap on your carpet.
Don't let him crap all over you.

Your last thread was bad enough that I remember your username.

Could you please raise your standards? Thanks.