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Original poster

How would you feel if ex told you his GF has had a baby?

27 replies

AlwaysSunshine81 · 10/01/2019 21:47

Split up 20 months ago. He moved out and in with his parents then with another woman after 10 months. We have a 4 yr old. He is a compulsive liar. His mum passed away Oct which was really hard as I was very close to her. I went to the funeral, he wanted me there no thanks the GF. We slept together that night 🤦🏻‍♀️
He has constantly text since we broke up telling me he loves me and hates his new life. Is not in love with GF
Sunday I found out she was due anyday. Obviously I am very hurt and upset. Have been in contact with his sister quite a bit and she told me it was born Tuesday. Yet he said she hadn’t had it. He text to ask how I am tonight and then said she’s had it.
He hasn’t told our dd about her being pregnant and not prepared her. Dd is due to go to his next weekend. How would you deal with this?

OP posts:
GhostSauce · 10/01/2019 21:54

I'd feel sorry for the poor woman.

Tutulafromage · 10/01/2019 21:57

Why did you sleep with him knowing he has a new girlfriend?

Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 10/01/2019 22:00

God knows, it was the night of his mums funeral, we had got very close and I did think maybe we might try and make things work so he came round. I know it was wrong. I also feel sorry for the woman

OP posts:
Boysandbuses · 10/01/2019 22:03

Why would you lower yourself to his standard?

Even if you thought you were going to make another go of it, you knew he was with someone else

Tutulafromage · 10/01/2019 22:03

Well he sounds like a pig tbh....like you say a compulsive liar and is obviously manipulative.
I think you should just focus on DD and her relationship with her baby sibling. Do not let him back in your life in that way, exes are exes for reasons! Focus on the children...everything will be okay 👌

Tutulafromage · 10/01/2019 22:04

And also don’t go near men that have girlfriends.....simple

Musti · 10/01/2019 22:07

You both sound dreadful. And you don't call a baby 'it'. I feel sorry for his girlfriend.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/01/2019 22:11

How come your DD hasn’t seen her and noticed she was pregnant?!

Don’t shag him again. You wouldn’t be winning anything. Restrict contact to just DD.

Why are you hurt and upset? You knew what he was like. You’d broken up for a reason. You knew he was in a relationship.

abbsisspartacus · 10/01/2019 22:12

I'm assuming the baby is an it because you don't know the sex.

Boysandbuses · 10/01/2019 22:13

This is more 'how would you feel if you were seeing someone behind their girlfriends back and the girlfriend was pregnant', than the actual title.

DBML · 10/01/2019 22:15

Have I read this before?

CantStopTheFeeling2 · 10/01/2019 22:17

OMG... are all of the posters on here perfect? OP has admitted it was wrong to sleep with him. He was manipulating her saying how unhappy he was with his new life. They were both grieving. She made a mistake and I can see why given the circumstances. Not condoning it but we're not all perfect.

OP, if your daughter doesn't know anything about the baby/pregnancy yet, you need to sit her down and explain that she has another sibling now and that she's a big sister. I realise it will be difficult for you but you need to make it a really positive conversation with her and let her get excited about meeting the baby.

Your ex does sound dreadful. I feel very sorry for his new gf.

Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 10/01/2019 22:17

Err no boysandbuses I am certainly not seeing the prick thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 10/01/2019 22:19

Cantstopthefeeling, thank you so much for your kind words. I know I made A mistake, I thought maybe we had a chance and we were both grieving.

I really don’t feel it’s my place to tell my dd she has a new sibling, he should have done that before now!

OP posts:
Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 10/01/2019 22:20

Yes it is now a boy

OP posts:
CantStopTheFeeling2 · 10/01/2019 22:22

I really don’t feel it’s my place to tell my dd she has a new sibling, he should have done that before now!

I completely understand your feelings that it's his responsibility but I think if he's as useless as you say he is, you may be more able to prepare her and what's important is that your DD is as well prepared for this change as she can be.

3boysandabump · 10/01/2019 22:23

I don't think it's your place either I think your ex should be the one doing the explaining about the baby.

SD1978 · 10/01/2019 22:36

Do they live together? I'm surprised a 4 year old hasn't noticed she's pregnant.

Boysandbuses · 10/01/2019 22:40

Err no boysandbuses I am certainly not seeing the prick thank you.

Yeah you are. You slept with him and are in contact with him talking about feelings etc.

If the girlfriend posted everyone would be saying the texts are crossing the line, an EA etc.

I do agree it's not for you to tell. O am glad you get what a prick he is. He is holding you back from being happy.

It's so difficult when your ex is a twat and it impacts the children. I get it must be sad, but remember.....You are well off our of it.

Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 10/01/2019 22:53

Boysandbuses I’m an idiot for sleeping with him hat night. Nothing else since but the texts. Yes the text would cross the line. I guess I didn’t let go cos I thoight maybe there was a chance.
Bt there is not a chance. I need to stop this, he is. Prick. I was wrong

OP posts:
Kennycalmit · 11/01/2019 00:18

You posted he exact same thing the other day and the advice still hasn’t changed.

NameChangeNugget · 11/01/2019 01:34
Biscuit
Redglitter · 11/01/2019 01:48

I thought this sounded familiar 🙄

Sondela · 11/01/2019 01:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Boysandbuses · 11/01/2019 05:26

So you have had sex with him and been texting him since october. Those texts cross the line.

So you have been seeing him. Which is what my first post says.

The fact that is your ex doesn't make it any better.