WhatsApp

[RealEyes]

Just need some advice to calm myself down.

Been with this guy for 5 months, he hardly used WhatsApp only for group chats he was in. We are committed to each other and he texts me every day and tells me how much he likes me etc but...

Awhile ago he had a dig at me for always being online for WhatsApp. This was mainly due to my friend going through a crisis.

The past 3 days he's been online loads, from early morning till late night. I know it's bad but I sat and watched him for an hour (from my phone) go on and off line every 5 mins.

Sometimes he doesn't text me till later that evening but I've seen hes been online most of the day and when I asked him if he'd been busy he said yes had loads of work on.

Am I just being paranoid.

I don't really understand why others pay so much attention to when someone is 'online' or not and the very fact of doing this would suggest an issue with trust for me.

He can be busy at work and still use whatsapp. I am busy but am in a group chat with 9 of my friends and respond to messages a few times during the day, most days (it takes seconds). To be honest, If I were in a relationship with someone and they starting questioning my 'online' time on whatsapp I would be getting rid!

Sorry, I didn't mean that to come across so harshly but I have strong thoughts on independence and trust in a relationship.

I guess if there are other things that concern you (becoming overly attached to his phone, change in behaviour, etc) then maybe that might lead you to think there may be something going on (having been there), which I assume is what you're wondering?

@Sunshineandflipflops I get your point. It never normally bothers me and something I wouldn't have noticed before.

But something isn't sitting right with me, after he had a dig at me for doing it and now he's doing it.

Maybe he's doing it in a childish attempt to show you what of feels like?

@booboo24 I did think that. Which really puts me off as I don't like games.

I think he’s probably online watching you online! He’s mentioned it to you before so he’s obviously got an issue over it. He needs a new hobby if that’s the case!

It would me too. If I were you I'd ignore it if everything else is ok. I'd also carry on using WhatsApp as you were and not change because of him questioning you. He'll bring it up again if he was doing it to 'teach you a lesson' and then you can handle it as you see fit. Either way I wouldn't react just yet.

Nope - this is how it started with my cheating Ex!

@Havana7 probably is 🤣🤣

I've been known to have a moan at DP being on the phone when I think he should be paying attention to homelife. I have also been known to be on a whatapps group when busy at work. It might be a work group or a hot top on a friends group (planning a holiday or birthday).

Like Sunshine I dont know why you are checking up on him. Not healthy if this is all there is to it.

@booboo24 you're right. Im not going to stop texting friends for him

I have what's app on my
Mac and it comes up as online all day even if I'm not actively looking at the app but because it's still running in the background whilst I'm working. Could this be it?

@giantnannyknickers.

He’s goes on and off all day, so it’s not as he active all day.

I used to be with a guy who played games such as -

He’d text me and if I was busy or maybe fell asleep then replied he’d wait at least the same amount of time to text me back rather than just reply when he got it. To punish me.

He’d check up on when I was on WhatsApp.

He even one night kicked off because I’d said goodnight etc then fell asleep listening to Spotify and he could tell from the shared Spotify account that I wasn’t sleeping.

Be careful please.

Bit of a red flag that he's had a go at you for messaging your friends, next it'll be that he doesn't want you to see them. Slippery slope

If that's a game he's playing, then that's childish. Personally, I couldn't care less whether or not any human is or has been online hence my deactivated settings. However, it could be that he was on WhatsApp call, as it shows 'online' for a long time or throughout the duration of the call?

So I am probably on whatsapp all day long as I have the app on a laptop and use it as a way to communicate at work

My DH is showing as being online/active now on WharsApp and Messenger...he's been lying next to me snoring for nearly an hour now

Deactivate your settings so u can't see his online status and he can't see yours,see if he notices and comments on it. Best way then no one gets paranoid who's online and who isn't.

Maybe he's checking on you. But you'd think he'd reply in between. This sort of stuff will drive you mad, just speak to him about it.

Agree with Plink, deactivate your last seen. It will stop you obsessively checking what he's doing and whether he notices/how he reacts should tell you whether he is playing games.

At least we know his actions on WhatsApp was due to him having a wife and other women on the go.

Lesson, never doubt your gut instinct

Are you ok!?

Think it depends if he has loads of mates or not and if it's not in line with his usual behaviour. I think you can learn a lot from WhatsApp sometimes.

@RealEyes Yes you were right, weren't you?

How are you?

OTHER women too?