Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you drop your standards if he/she was wealthy?

57 replies

shoestein · 09/01/2019 17:10

I’m asking this in no shame. Would you drop your standards if you found out potential interest is wealthy?

If he is still attractive but overweight, but owns a multi million pound property, would you ignore the weight issue?

OP posts:
Stringofpearls · 09/01/2019 17:15

Weight wouldn't be an issue, nor would money, as long as he is kind and not at all arrogant. I find arrogance completely unattractive.

Wingbing · 09/01/2019 17:17

I’d be asking myself if I fancy them. If I do, then yes.

NorthEndGal · 09/01/2019 17:17

Looks or weight would never be an issue for me, I dont care about those things as they can change over time, and always do.

I do care about dickish behavior, and I wouldnt be will a dick no matter how much money he had

WitsEnding · 09/01/2019 17:18

Weight's not really an issue for me. but I wouldn't drop my standards on behaviour. There are some things that matter less with money - for example, be as lazy as you like around the house if you are going to organise and pay for a housekeeper, have no interest in cooking if we are eating out frequently.

Dirtybadger · 09/01/2019 17:22

Also not that bothered about weight. Lifestyle yes (e.g. likes to be active etc- but you can be overweight and still enjoy a bike ride or a walk, even a marathon isn't out of the question for a lot of people considered overweight or obese).

I would actively avoid someone very wealthy. I don't like the disparity. DP earns about 6k more a year than me. More than that would cause too much stress I think as I don't ever want to share finances with someone so you would then end up with one person living a completely different lifestyle to the other and it wouldn't work.

So no I'm quite happy with a fat lass/chap on a low income if that's the alternative.

PickAChew · 09/01/2019 17:26

I would want to be with someone who shared common interests, beliefs and outlook. I'd be more more interested in spending my life with a wealthy wankbadger than one living hand to mouth.

PickAChew · 09/01/2019 17:27

No more, not more more

sizzledrizz · 09/01/2019 17:27

It would depend on how he acquired the wealth. By dishonest means, definitely unattractive. Being a dick, very unattractive. But I don't have extremely high standards when it comes to looks. My first husband was very wealthy, but he cheated on me umpteen times, for our entire marriage - as I discovered. Also lied constantly

schopenhauer · 09/01/2019 17:32

You’re not really lowering your standards if you find him attractive are you?

Closetbeanmuncher · 09/01/2019 17:35

Would I date someone I'm not attracted to because they have money...No

Original poster
shoestein · 09/01/2019 17:36

What if the relationship succeeding meant that you lived in the perfect house, never had to worry about work, and would be free to enjoy your own career dreams?

OP posts:
NewerMoreBoringNameFor2019 · 09/01/2019 17:38

I’ve ended relationships in the past with men who were wealthy but whom I just didn’t fancy enough.

Nothing more soul destroying than shagging someone you don’t fancy. No amount of money can make up for the ickiness.

donajimena · 09/01/2019 17:40

Steady on! You haven t been on a date yet!
I wouldn't. It could turn out to be a gilded cage.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 09/01/2019 17:40

Wow. And they say men are shallow & unpleasant....

Original poster
shoestein · 09/01/2019 17:40

How wealthy are we talking? A £600k detached in a regional city, or a £10m mansion in Belgravia?

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 09/01/2019 17:40

Is being with an overweight person lowering your standards? If so you might want to look at yourself, there's far more to a person than a number on some scales!

Notquiteagandt · 09/01/2019 17:42

The otherweight could be an indication of lifestyle choices. Tgst would be a deal breaker for me regardless of wealth if they where lazy, indulgant no self control or self respect etc. However an active lifestyle but still over weight as pp hsve said would be fine.

I also find the weslthier the guyvthe toghter he is. In my experience. So worth baring in mind. They may not be as generous as youd hope them to be.

Notquiteagandt · 09/01/2019 17:43

*tighter.

Dear me time to put my glasses on!

NorthEndGal · 09/01/2019 17:44

Pretty cages are still cages

Ragwort · 09/01/2019 17:44

I personally would feel uncomfortable about having a relationship with someone who was significantly more ‘wealthy’ than I was, it could easily become a ‘power issue’ with the wealthy partner feeling they had more control over the ‘poorer’ one (you see enough bickering about division of income/spending habits on Mumsnet even between two people earning roughly the same amount Grin).

Nothing to do with how much they weigh or what they look like Hmm.

Mari50 · 09/01/2019 17:45

Id be more open minded to going on a date with a wealthy man I didn’t find that attractive but I know that I wouldn’t be able to continue a relationship with someone long term if that feeling continued. And going against MN consensus I don’t find overweight men attractive and that would be a sticking point in the long term.

SandyY2K · 09/01/2019 17:46

If I wasn't attracted to them... no amount would sway me...but OTOH money could make them more attractive.

Their personality is the most important thing to me.

Ragwort · 09/01/2019 17:47

A friend of mine is actually in a relationship like this, she lives in a beautiful house and doesn’t have to work but she is desperately unhappy but feels at her age (60+) she just doesn’t have any alternative now. It is incredibly sad.

Wherearemymarbles · 09/01/2019 17:51

If what you are saying is that if he wasnt wealthy you wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole then dont go there. Not fair on him and what does that make you?

You’re also dreaming about his money already. I dont think many people start a relationship thinking about what it will mean for them in the future

Dirtybadger · 09/01/2019 17:51

I think my pretend partner would get tired of waking up every morning with CAPITALIST PIG and DOWN WITH THE BOURGEOISIE written in toothpaste on their (en suite) bathroom mirror every morning I suppose.