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Original poster

Would you drop your standards if he/she was wealthy?

57 replies

shoestein · 09/01/2019 17:10

I’m asking this in no shame. Would you drop your standards if you found out potential interest is wealthy?

If he is still attractive but overweight, but owns a multi million pound property, would you ignore the weight issue?

OP posts:
BartonHollow · 09/01/2019 17:53

Appearance wouldn't matter

My attractions have rarely been solely looks based

I certainly wouldn't get with a man who was wealthy if I thought I'd have to pay a huge price in my happiness because they were a terrible person or that I'd have to engage in a pretence of loving them when I didn't

The type of person who would do this is also the type of person who would dupe a man into believing her children were his and then take him for everything in a divorce

Not the type of person I want to be

TheNavigator · 09/01/2019 17:58

I think most posters are being a tad disingenuous - or Mumsnet is not very representative. In the real world we see rich, repugnant men with gorgeous women who have clearly not chosen them for their sparkling personality. Or is someone going to claim all those blondes just happened to enjoy Hugh Hefner's company and his wealth was irrelevant? That Mick Jagger's latest conquest actually loves decrepit, wrinkly men, even if they aren't wealth rock stars etc.

I think there are many women prepared to forget any standards whatsoever if there is sufficient wealth.

waywardfruit · 09/01/2019 18:01

Why are you asking?

blacksax · 09/01/2019 18:04

Your only other thread today is asking whether we think wealthy people should be obliged to help their offspring on to the property ladder.

1MillionSelfiesTakenByMyKids · 09/01/2019 18:08

Methinks there is a slight whiff of desperate journo in the air....

Evaleemorr · 09/01/2019 18:11

I’ve been on the other side of this one.

Dated someone for a while who was a wealthy businessman and I was drawn in by his powerful demeanour and strong personality rather than looks. He was very overweight and at first I looked beyond this but then the reality hit.
Before long I realised that his life consisted of ordering people to do everything for him. He had someone to clean, to iron, deliver his shopping, do everything around the house, wash the car...you name it.
He barely moved off his chair and was very self centred. Life was all about him, his money and how wonderful he was. It was no surprise that he was so over weight when he constantly ate out with work, drank alcohol and when he rarely had a night in then it would always be with a take away.

Being wealthy is a bonus but not when it means you are obnoxious, arrogant, fat and lazy.

Ragwort · 09/01/2019 18:16

I agree TheNavigator, there clearly are women who will date men for their wealth (sadly as I said earlier my friend is one of them) but that doesn’t mean we would ALL do this.

YetAnotherUser · 09/01/2019 18:17

Hmmmm. I recall a few years ago when I was going out with quite possibly the nicest woman I'd ever met. Very kind and plenty of good qualities.
While we were dating she suffered a bereavement, and she inherited a substantial amount of money. Not millions, but a bigger chunk of cash than I'll ever have my hands on!

I broke up with her shortly after, because we'd been dating for long enough for me to realise that she just wasn't the one for me. Thankfully for my conscience the money she inherited did absolutely nothing to make me feel more strongly about her.

bsc · 09/01/2019 18:18

Is wealth the only attribute you find attractive? Hmm

yetmorecrap · 09/01/2019 18:21

You still have to spend a lot of time with them, that’s not easy if it’s only the wealth that attracts

catsanddoors · 09/01/2019 18:30

On your other thread, you mention that your DP is on the wealthy side and has a large £££££ property in the country. Do you have a bit of a dilemma on your hands?

AhNowTed · 09/01/2019 19:03

Could I wake up everyday beside a man I didn't love for an easy life.

No.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/01/2019 19:04

So massively obese I genera wouldn't find attractive but it would depend on personality. I'd go on a few dates and see how it went. Knowing someone can change how attracted you are to someone.

Having sex with a guy because he can buy you nice things when all you're there for is the things he can buy you, enduring sex with a guy you don't feel attracted to but doing it knowing you'll get financial benefit is surely prostituon

PookieDo · 09/01/2019 19:14

I wouldn’t be with anyone I didn’t find attractive. You wouldn’t be able to have even vaguely enjoyable sex!

SleepingStandingUp · 09/01/2019 19:28

you mention that your DP is on the wealthy side and has a large £££££ property in the country
As in dear parents I think so...

Cuntcuntcunt · 09/01/2019 19:29

A dick with money is still just a dick. I'd have to get on with them whether or not they had money would be a relevant.

At the end of the day it matters if you're attracted to them and they're attracted to you, if they make you laugh, and if you get on. The rest of it is just windowdressing and wealth isn't worth it.

spoon19996 · 09/01/2019 19:31

Weight was never an issue for me until I was with someone overweight and he was so lazy and barely cleaned himself correctly. It was horrible so i wouldn't from experience.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/01/2019 19:34

overweight and he was so lazy and barely cleaned himself correctly so you're deducing from that that every fat person is lazy and dirty. Right.
Plenty of skinny lazy dirty buggers out there spoon 😂

Springmachine · 09/01/2019 19:36

Having lots of money would possibly put me off before other things as it can sometimes mean a workaholic, someone who puts money before more important things or someone who is tight.

If they have inherited a lot of money rather than working for it they may be lazy.

Springmachine · 09/01/2019 19:39

Also it's very easy for wealth to go, and fast.

I've been in a marriage with a wealthy person, but he felt he could eat like a king so gave himself illnesses.

He also gambled a lot and would lose massive amounts within moments.

He was so into money that it was all important . He looked down on others that didn't have money.

I'm now much happier and feel wealthier despite earning a tiny proportion of that

TooManyPuppies · 09/01/2019 19:47

If I had my time over I probably would drop my standards knowing how stressful life can be when money is tight.
But I have always said I married for love, if that ever failed and I found a partner again it would be for money since doing it for love didn't work out so great.

itsalloverforanotheryear · 09/01/2019 19:56

No, when I was a single mum I was propositioned more than once by different older wealthier men...I just couldn't go there. It felt to me like I was selling myself to be their arm candy and as there was no spark for me I wasn't able to accept. Each to their own though.

I'm happily married and skint and wouldn't change a thing!

richdeniro · 09/01/2019 20:05

I've been wondering this for a while. I found out recently that my ex ended things with me because a new guy came onto the scene and obviously has way more money than I do.

I know that my ex's ex-husband did pretty well and her and her kids lived a very middle class lifestyle that included a big 6 bedroom house in the suburbs, plenty of holidays, expensive after school clubs, nice cars etc. I don't do badly myself but could not compete with that.

She told me that when we were together she had never felt cared for in the way I cared for her, didn't think it was possible to have a boyfriend who was also her best friend and that she had never experienced the kind of love that I gave her.

She dumped me and didn't allude why but I suspected another guy was on the scene. Eventually found out that she moved their relationship on extremely quickly - within 6 months he had taken her and her kids to Eurodisney and the Caribbean which I guess doesn't come cheap in the school holidays.

I'm guessing that whilst I was probably what she was looking for in a guy emotionally she ultimately decided that she was used to the high life so to say and didn't want her kids to miss out on that kind of lifestyle. Sad thing is that the reason she ended her marriage with her exh was due to him neglecting her needs due to work, I guess something that comes with the territory of those that earn big money.

velourvoyageur · 09/01/2019 20:13

The otherweight could be an indication of lifestyle choices. Tgst would be a deal breaker for me regardless of wealth if they where lazy, indulgant no self control or self respect etc.

Speaking as a naturally thin person, you know those things apply to many non-fat people too right? But I bet you still take your chances with them. People who are overweight are much more likely to historically have exercised strict self-discipline by restricting calories or exercising than naturally thin people have. It's so unfair to judge people who are born with larger appetites or are struggling with e.g. PCOS-related weight gain against the same yardstick as you judge luckier people, and expect them to somehow magically have more self-discipline than the average person has.

Shitmewithyourrhythmstick · 09/01/2019 20:24

I have had the opportunity when younger of pursuing a relationship with someone who had a much more wealthy background than me and chose not to. There was just no spark there. I wouldn't do it in that situation.

If I'm completely honest, if I weren't sure, then I might be willing to give it a bit more time than I would for someone with no money. But even then something would have to develop. Overweight not a deal breaker for me anyway though.

TheNavigator that's true, but you also don't see them with all the women who wouldn't touch them with a barge pole!