Is this weird - viagra

[Bumblebee777]

My oh is 16 years older than me. When we first got together we spoke about sex and he said he doesn't really get the urge that often which I was ok with.
Soon after I found viagra in his things by accident. Never mentioned it as didn't want to embarrass him and as far as he knows I don't know he takes it. He has it on repeat prescription and from what I can tell he will pop one before we are going to have sex.
But the thing is he seems to be using more than we are having sex. I don't know if he takes them in anticipation and then maybe nothing ends up transpiring? Or maybe he's using them to pleasure himself alone?
I don't think he is straying purely because he doesn't have the opportunity - doesn't really go out etc. We are mostly together.
I've got where I'm obsessively checking the packets to see when they are being used and trying to establish some sort of pattern.
Does this sound odd?

Is it possible he took the tablet with him today?

@IamIwas no I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he took it the night before thinking we might have an opportunity for some action but it didn't transpire.

@stilllearnin thank you so much for your kind words and helpful advice. I don't think he is cheating but the trust issue is causing all sorts of issues and sending my mind into overdrive. I will eventually bring it up but I am very cautious about embarrassing him. He's not the sort who likes to be pushed into a corner when it comes to personal or difficult chats. All I can say is if he's not cheating which I'm 99% sure he's not then the viagra is his business really. Just wish he felt able to bring it up with me. Feels like I'm always the one pushing for answers and a more honest and open relationship

Bumblebee
To respond to one of your earlier posts. Viagra typically takes 20 – 45 minutes to become “active” once taken. Once “active” it will be effective for between 4 and 6 hours generally. These are the generic numbers normally posted by the medical field, but can be influenced by many factors, food, alcohol, additional meds.
What I really want to say to you Bumblebee is that you probably should relax a little bit. Has he given you a specific reason to not trust him? You said in your first post that you two have been together for 1 year and yet you want him to completely share all of his deepest secrets and fears with you. His fetish/ fantasy may be just that something for his mind but not something he wants in RL and definitely not something he wants done with the love of his life. So sharing it with you will not be an easy thing or it may not happen at all.
You said in one post he is entitled to his privacy, but then in another post you say you feel like you’re always the one pushing for answers and a more honest and open relationship.
Taking all of this into account I’d say cut the gut some slack, unless he has truly done something to lose your trust, which from my reading he has not, you have to talk to him. He is not a mind reader, he will know that this are not going as normal, but not the why. Just tell him, but using phrases about you.
I feel - not you make me feel …. don’t put him on the defensive.
You have a right (and are OK) to feel however you do. But, you need to explain this to him.
Hopefuly, this helps a little and I didn’t come over he top.

@toddman70 thank you you are totally right. I have let my mind run away with me and have been making issues out of everything. I really do need to address my own mind and feelings and then I'll probably start to see things in a new light.
To answer your question, yes he did break my trust in a way. I don't want to get into details but he was doing things regarding the fetish that I wasn't happy about. Nothing physical or emotional with another person but still enough to cause major problems and be a catalyst for all this.
We've discussed things and are trying to move on. The viagra thing is just another thing that's been playing on my mind but it's clear the real issue here is lack of trust and that's what we need to work on.

Are you sure it's a lack of trust? It seems that maybe it's not that but perhaps you are feeling rejected?

Being brutally honest, the "Lack of trust" seems to be 100% on your side not wanting him to have his own private thoughts and activities. They don't involve you or anybody else. It's not like he's done anything illegal, wrong or with somebody else from what I can see. In my opinion, people, even in a relationship, people are allowed to have something for themselves. Demanding that they part their buttocks and let you stare directly up their arse into their soul as you hold a flashlight is borderline abusive and I would not tolerate it. You've whipped yourself up into a frenzy when ostensibly he's done nothing wrong at all. In fact, it's not as if he's really gone out of his way to hide things. I'd suggest working on yourself, otherwise you'll destroy this relationship and then subsequent ones.

I have said repeatedly that I don't need to know the workings of his mind or every detail about his desires or feelings. I absolutely respect his privacy. However when trust has been broken and I keep stumbling across things that create questions (ie why does he take viagra if we aren't sleeping together) it is going to take its toll. I know I've magnified it in my mind and am trying to work on that because ultimately you are right and he hasn't done anything irreparable

Absolutely OP! It does take its toll. And being honest with yourself about that and other emotions bubbling up - which is what you’ve done with this thread - could possibly help you and so ultimately both of you