Men - how much does acne put you off?

[GraceMarks]

That's what I want to ask really... I am thinking of getting back into dating this year, but I'm currently perimenopausal and I get really bad cystic acne all over my chin at particular times of the month. It's really noticeable and ugly, and makeup doesn't make much of an impact other than making it slightly less red.

I have been out of the game for years because of feeling crap about the way I look and I don't want to get back into it if I'm likely to be rejected over my bad skin.

Don't hold back or try to be kind - if your date showed up looking spotty, would it put you off her?

Yes, I think it would, unfortunately.

I imagine it would

For me, an attempt at loads of makeup to hide it would be worse than accepting the issue. Doesn't makeup make it worse anyway?
A good natural smile and an air of confidence and being comfortable with yourself are all more important.

Not a man's perspective, but honestly, if someone is bothered by acne they need to get a grip. Its not like you don't wash and that's why you get it. People shouldn't ever be put off by some acne. If they are, they aren't worth your time imo.

OK, I suspected as much. I had probably better stay single for now then.

Don't you dare! Get out their and date. Many women with out ache date blokes that are crap.
On a bad peak a boil popped in the cinema and was drip down my face happened in the car to both times with dp. And he doesn't give a fig. It bothers me more than him.

I'm so sorry to read these reponses, Grace. I'm not a man but I hope those replying are perfect in every way with no grey hairs, receding hairline, wrinkles, extra pounds or other so-called imperfections. I wouldn't reckon their personalities to be that great from what I read here.

I'd imagine some superficial people would have a problem with it, yes. I don't expect those are the kind of people you'd like to spend a lot of time with, so you could see it as a kind of weeding out process for wankers.

I also have cystic acne.

Didn't stop my dp falling in love with me!

I feel that comfortable with him I barely wear make up now and my skins getting better.

No one's perfect.

LoveWasAccidental well tbh, I did ask people to be blunt, and those first responses were what I was expecting. Even if my skin was clear, I am really not attractive and I feel like the acne is an additional disadvantage that I don't need. I'm probably not in the right place mentally anyway.

as always with these things, you can't lump a whole gender together! Some men would be instantly put off, others will just totally overlook it and look for your character.
You sound like your self esteem isn't great anyway but don't focus on your appearance, focus on your character!

So I'm late 40's, overweight, with scarred skin due to terrible acne (due to PCOS) and I recently found the most amazing man. I didn't bring up my skin for a few weeks - we had already started our relationship and he didnt seem to mind!

When I did mention it - asking him what he thought and whether he minded, he said he'd noticed, but loved the scars - that they were part of me, who he loves..!

I had no self confidence at all and find myself inexplicably in a relationship- the right man is out there- please don't give up hope!

My dh first met me when I had terrible acne rosacea and it didn’t put him off.

Grace - ask your GP for a referral to a dermatologist or pay to see one if you can .

My best friend has really severe cystic acne, scars and redness, it covers he race, arms, chest and back. When its really flared up she gets reallt self concious to the point where she wouldn't come out drinking with me or shopping because she said my skin is nice and she thought I'd make her look worse when together (that broke my heart) :( I think shes an incredibly beautiful person anyway. She recently single and she's been on too many dates too count and her phone is blowing up.

I think it would put the wrong sort of people off, but real people don't care. If they're shallow enough to be put off your skin before even knowing you then you don't deserve that person.

The way you speak, and feel about yourself is probably at the core of your issues, rather than the acne. Maybe think about having some CBT to help you get out of negative cycles of thinking badly of yourself, then look at dating again. Confidence is always the most attractive thing, and men who go for unconfident women may have issues with control. Men who are worth your time won't care about the acne, they will realise it isn't something you can control and doesn't reflect anything about you as a person. Many men have acne too, and would therefore not be put off by it.

My friend has back acne, and is very conscious of it. She uses thick make up to cover up. She is married and her DH much prefers it when she doesn’t wear make up, so no, not all men would be put off by an outbreak of acne. Don’t let it out you off!!

If your skin is that bad, then you won't just 'show up looking spotty', as presumably your date will have noticed it from your pictures. So post a realistic, unfiltered, minimal make-up picture and you can screen out the guys who will be bothered by it.

Wouldn't put me off one bit

I went on antibiotics for hormonal acne and it went away overnight. Have you tried that route?

Have you been to the Drs for treatment?

The majority of men have had acne in their lives. A lot probably still have it but also have the benefit of a beard to disguise it!

I have cystic acne on my jawline - it's only recently cropped up in the last 5 years but my hubby seems fine with it.

He also thinks makeup is a massive faff so maybe he's just not fussy.

What I'm trying to say is that normal men with their eyes properly open are out there.

Sorry but I wouldn't. Everyone is allowed to date whomever they like and follow their own preferences, despite what people on here say they should do. Following what you do and don't find attractive is not shallow..it's human nature and perfectly ok. People telling others what to do and think is more an issue IMHO.

So as far as I can gather, the men who have replied have said it would put them off and the women have tried to be nice about it! It is discouraging but more or less what I thought would happen.

m0vinf0rward I have never said anyone has to be attracted to me. Of course you have a right to have your preferences, but I find that some people can be quite unkind when it comes to expressing them. That's what I'm trying to scope out before I put myself in a position to be scrutinised. I don't think on balance I will be doing that any time soon anyway.

It wouldn't put me off. There's so much more to you than your chin. Please don't let that stop you!
Some men are too shallow to see past little things in your appearance, sure. Those ones aren't worth your consideration.

Do you know what?

I think your acne will be handy as a twat radar.