Hit this milestone and need to accept its unlikely I will have a child?

[Panicstationsroundhere]

34 last week. I feel like that’s it for me. Last relationship ended in September, been dating but nobody significant.

I’ve noticed my periods are shorter than they were in my twenties. I feel like this is it for me.

I got used to the fact everyone I know had got married in a long time ago so I don’t feel the pain or jealousy of that. I’ve accepted being alone.

I don’t want to have a baby alone. I wanted the whole package. How do you make peace with this?

Get some eggs frozen then relax, plenty if time to meet life partner and have baby naturally but worrying will make you appear desperate, possible wrong choices and can affect chances of conception if you are freaking out

34 is far too early to make peace with it. If you want it carry on dating, meeting people. You've nothing to lose. And if the baby doesn't happen but the relationship does that's something. No reason why you can't meet someone even in the next year or two and still have two kids.

What does freezing eggs mean? I can have a child at any age? Is it like ivf?

I’ve heard of it but don’t really know how it works

It doesn’t feel like that lizzie

I’ve stopped dating now as I find it draining. I thought the last relationship was really going somewhere. Now I just feel totally depleted and fed up. All my twenties were two long term relationships that didn’t work out. I’m so fed up.

One of my friends just had her first baby at 42. She was single at your age. Think she met her fiancé about 5 years ago. Still hope for you yet!

I clicked thinking you were going to say 40/42!

Elective egg freezing

www.hfea.gov.uk/treatments/fertility-preservation/egg-freezing/

My periods are shorter than say 5 years ago. I barely bleed. I have asked a doctor and they said as long as it’s consistent it shouldn’t be a problem. I worry about that though.

Bloody hell was expecting an over 40 op at least!! At 42 my cycle was 26 days. I conceived the third month of trying!
Had ds at 43.2.

You’re the glass is half empty kinda gal aren’t you? You sound like you’ve already picked a plot for your ashes and written your farewell letter. Unless you made a typo on your age or have a whimsical sense of humour.

I think you’ve got time yet. Cancel the taxi to the glue factory. Hand the nay sayers their P45. Ample time yet to meet a nice guy and have a family. Women much older than you are bringing babies into the world.

Put the ex into the bin of relationship history. Go out into the world. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Meet interesting people. And worse case scenario you don’t get the whole package, you sure as hell can have most of it and a fulfilling life.

just turned 34 is very young.

My best friend met her husband at 40, had a baby at 41 and was married to him at 42. I know loads of people who met and married at 35/36/37/38 and then had a family. Obviously starting in your 20s is ideal biologically but where I live, I don't know one mother who had a first baby in her 20s. At 34 I had one child, was trying to get pregnant with the second and would eventually have a third.

I think you should feel a lot more optimistic. If you want a baby, if you want a relationship - it is all still very possible for you.

You’re 34, not 44. Don’t give up yet, you don’t know what’s ahead.

I would say though, the quality of eggs frozen is not great and there is not a high success rate attributed to the procedure (18% from what I can see at a glance.) So it’s not something to rely on - results are far better with frozen embryos (26%, still not great). (I went through the options pre chemo/surgery.

You don’t know what’s ahead, you don’t know that at 34 you are not fertile. You could meet someone at any time.

I also clicked on this thinking you were going to say you were over 40! I think you’ve still got time for sure.

I met the father of my children when I was 34.

I’m usually glass half full, honest!

I’m just feeling down recently. I put so much into all other areas of my life and the only thing left - and what’s most important - is that family.

I feel lost. Keep waking in the night thinking it will be like this forever.

My periods were ridiculously light when I was 34, they used to be really heavy. I conceived in 4 months. You’ve every chance

Freeze your eggs if you want but it's not cheap. £7,000-£8,000 in total and no guarantee of a baby either. Much better to plough your energies into meeting a man to settle down with and have children in the conventional way. At 34, you have heaps of time. Go for it! Get yourself signed up to a fee-paying dating site (free ones are often full of men just looking for a shag) and get dating.

Last time I did online dating I met lots of lovely people and really did give things a go.

Just never met the right one.

At 32 I thought time was running out. Had my first at 33 with someone I sold myself short to thinking time was running out. I should have held on for someone more suitable. Only looking back do I realise how much time I actually did have.

I’m definately no expert on the subject as when it’s physically too late, as it’s diffetent for everyone. But you’re still having periods. That’s a good sign. I’m 43 and had another child this year. You’re 34! A lot can happen in 9 years!!
You could meet someone tomorrow or next week.
I really hope things happen for you.

Try a different approach to online dating perhaps for a bit - i don't know - hobbies, clubs like walking/running clubs, night school classes, ask friends for introductions. Be open to anything and anyone.

It’s not too late. There is enough time to meet someone and I know loads of people conceiving naturally or with ivf between 36-44.

34 is very young!!
I met my partner at 38, had DS at 39, and we got married last month when I was 40. Hoping for another baby at 41.

I walked out on my (awful, abusive) ex-boyfriend a week after my 34th birthday, telling myself I'd rather go without children than stay with him. Was CONVINCED I was over the hill and that was it for me; especially as I have PCOS.

Now 37 and six months pregnant with my first baby. You've got oodles of time, 34 is a spring chicken!