Married, stupid crush driving me mad!

[Newnametemp]

Hi,
DH and I have a wonderful relationship, have been together nearly 12 years, married for 1.5 years and have a beautiful 1 yo DD.
He is a wonderful husband and my best friend so I feel so guilty even writing this.
But I can’t stop thinking about this OM, and it makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me or our relationship!
OM has been working at our house, alongside DH as we’ve been renovating. They have worked together a lot and are friends I believe but I only met him about a month ago. It started off fine, fun and banter with the 3 of us, them 2 ganging up on me winding me up, fine. But DH then had a lot of work on in the build up to Christmas and was out most evenings til late, and OM was just always there, and he just remembers every little thing I say and is so unbelievably attentive! He will fall over himself to help me in with bags and DD, he always seems to just be in the same space as me and at first it was kind of flirty but harmless, but one evening he came to look at something over my shoulder and the atmosphere was so tense I actually just walked out and it felt like a line was crossed. We have never even made physical contact but it was so awkward as we were both silent for about 30 seconds!

I drove around the block to avoid him that evening until DH got home but when I got in guess what - he was still bloody there! DH was in our loft and he was waiting outside and I felt like he wanted to say something but I just carried sleeping DD past him and text DH to come down and as soon as he did OM abruptly said he was going home without even looking at me.
Over the Christmas break I’ve thankfully avoided all contact (don’t have his number or even his last name!) but we have a lot more work in the coming months that he will be returning to do, I don’t know what to do because nothing has happened so it is pointless me telling DH as they work together and it could be in my head - but I know it isn’t iyswim, there have been many incidents not listed that have made it clear. He is married with kids too so it is wrong on all parts and I just want to avoid him as much as I can! Why do I feel like this! Am I the worst wife ever!! I wish we’d never met. It makes me feel sick with guilt when I think of my DH. But I’ve found having sex harder since because I just think about OM! And he isn’t even as physically attractive as DH.

Any tips on what to do? I can’t tell DH becahse they work together.

Thanks for further replies. I have spoken to my best friend about this and she suggested that maybe it is because he has been in ‘my space’ in my house where my guard is generally lowered?

@thatsalovelycuppa yes that’s it I know when there’s tension there. Awkward doorway dances round each other, glances, and you know when you can just predict someone’s behaviour, I knew what he was going to do before he did it. For example on the last day he worked here and knew he’d be off for 2 weeks, I invited a couple of friends over (whenever other people are around he stays away) and he stayed working outside. DH, DD and I were going out for the afternoon as soon as our friends left, OM was staying on to keep working...I hadn’t seen him at all that day and I just knew he’d make an excuse to come and talk to me. I deliberately said something like “I’ll put DD in the car” loudly, then pretended I’d forgotten something and ran back upstairs and told DH to put DD in the car instead. Looked out of the window and OM was hanging around by our car. When DH went out to put her in the car, OM came in to the kitchen and was just standing in the doorway so I had to brush past him as I left! I just said “oh I thought you were DH!” because I heard him before I saw him. He said “no, he’s putting DD in the car.” But the way he said it there was weight to it, you know?? Like he wanted to say something else. Then DH came jogging back for something, probably to chase me up and I just dashed out quickly.

I know it doesn’t seem like much but all these little things seemed to add up. I don’t know how to say to DH I don’t want this man back in the house! I feel like he will tell me I’m being stupid. They work together a lot on various contracts etc so I think it would make life really awkward for him.

We have been under a lot of pressure lately, both our mothers have been very ill the last year. I have siblings to offload on but DH is an only child and has told me many times I am the only person he talks to about anything and I do believe him, he is a closed book with everyone. I think that the pressure of that gets to me sometimes and also the fact he has been working SO much. I don’t love him any less at all though, I guess this is just one of those little tough patches that all marriages encounter..!

Again, thank you people for taking time to reply to me. I know I am probably coming across as stupid for being sucked in to this and selfish especially because of the familial issues DH is having. But venting on here has really helped me process everything and hopefully be a better wife for him. X

You're doing a really great thing in trying to avoid in. The less you see him, the better!

Just say to your Dh that you're sure OM is a nice guy but something about him makes you feel a bit uncomfortable so could he please not work when DH isn't there.
Hopefully at least you won't have to face him alone!

Stay away from him. Avoid him as much as possible and definitely avoid being alone with him. If possible tell your DH to find another helper because this guy weirds you out. Once contact is stopped your feelings will go away.

He is your husband's friend, carrying bag's would be something your own husband would do probably for his wife.
He has boosted your ego by flirting with you, that's all it is, your husband, home life, sound pretty solid to me, just remember, any kind of relationship, started on lies and deceit , will not last, let alone one on fantasy, take it for what it is , or ,was, obviously you are now panicking, you are looking at way's to avoid him, so you have in your mind a problem.
Take a step back , look in, and see what this is! nothing that you could, or should, take any further, because it has nowhere to go, other than lies, deceit , and hurt, stay away!!!!

All helpful comments, thank you. I will ensure I avoid him and if DH puts me on the spot (wants me to be around to let him in etc) I think I will just say it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I have a gut feeling the last couple of days that DH knows! I don’t know why. I’ve not said or done anything differently. I just know him so well, he knows me so well.
In other, very positive news, we had absolutely mind blowing sex last night!! (Me and DH btw!) And I feel utterly stupid for even thinking about someone else x