Such a mess

[maryjorach]

Hi, I've come here before for advice & everyone was amazing & helpful so hoping for the same. My bf of 4 years cheated on me nearly 2 years ago, I found out when she messaged him asking to meet up at a hotel. This disgusting home wrecker is a family friend (of his) & any parties or get-togethers she's there or her sister is. Last week there was a party & the sis was there & I blanked her because why would I want to speak to the whores family &... I GOT CALLED RUDE, apparently I made things 'awkward' & she felt she had to leave cos I didn't say hello...even my partner said he doens't understand why I'm rude to her but i have my reasons. Was I unreasonable? Thank you x

time to change it then.
You’ve tried unhappy. It’s fucking shit.
Stop enabling this man.

You’re worth more. And I get you’re anger. I really do.

Do something in 2019 to change it. You can!

You said you're not a walk over? well it's time to start showing him that.....

Stop being sulky/aggressive and trying to pass that off as standing up for yourself.

Standing up for yourself is ditching this loser once and for all, removing that weight from your shoulders and taking back control by NO CONTACT with him, his family or their friends.

It really is that simple.

Some of my earlier replies were harsh, so I apologise for that.

Please try and find the strength to cut him out, if he threatens suicide tell him you’re going to notify his family and the police so they can deal with it, he’ll soon stop. He won’t hurt himself and if he does it’s on him, not you. Good luck.

Travisandthemonkey I do need to work on my anger, I've had to hold it together for so long that now the slightest thing pisses me off, I.think I need help tbh. But thank you everyone for understanding and helping me
I'm making changes now

no wonder you feel anger, you’ve been lied to, cheated on and manipulated by this man.

I’m sure if you can take back control the anger will go.

Bifswif thank you for apologising, sorry I didn't explain myself very clearly at the beginning. Take care x

We are on your side, Mary x

Actually
I don’t think you’re rude. She’s not done the cheating with the now ex but like you said she stuck up for her sis and ex and said it was your fault and called you horrible names. You have a child with the ex and yet her sis still did this.
If she had said nothing then yes you should be civil. But she got involved and made you feel like shit and blamed you and not the now ex and her sis pissing on a family.
You owe nothing to her. If she thought you were rude for you not saying hi she should count her blessings that she didn’t get a deserved mouthful. Now she and the family are stirring it making you again look bad. Fuck her the sis (ow) and the ex! Who cares what they think. Just ridiculous. She’s a cow and you were civil as you didn’t say anything. She doesn’t deserve a hi if she degrade you when you were down.

The ex is to blame he knew what he was doing and the ow knew what she was doing! They deserve each other.
The sis would support her sis but not to confront you and tell you it was your fault that oversteps the line and she can do one.

Xx

I agree with ChaoticPenguin. If the sister of the woman that your DH had an affair with had any sensitivity then she wouldn't have made a fuss about you blanking her. What did she expect? However, she went on to blow it up calling you rude etc. Unnecessary and clearly a stirrer. No matter that it is her sister involved she took a side rather than counsel her sister she was being out of order and remaining neutral. Why on earth would you have said hello to her. Stop going to these parties where these people are. Put some boundaries between your ex/DH or whatever he is and yourself.

Anyone threatening suicide just to keep someone in their life is a weapons grade cunt.