This guys making me feel awkward

[Nopleasedont]

A couple of months I go, I received a FB message from a guy who lives on my street. He was telling me he needs to man up and say to me face to face what he needs to, life is short, he has to do this, and how now he has messaged me, he has to do it.

I didn't reply and thought he had obviously had one too many. Haven't seen him around, thankfully. I've realised he is the same guy who left me a card and flowers on my car a few xmas' ago, with his number inside.

He's messaged me again during the night apologising for not seeing me around to speak to me after sending me the last message. Saying hopefully he will see me soon, unless I basically want to arrange a coffee/drink.

I really don't enjoy this attention. And I'm nervous about bumping into him in the street. He's a good bit older than me and obviously pretty confident. I assumed the first message was a drunken message, but now there's this second one.

Should I message something back or wait and tell him I'm not interested if/when he pops up in the street? Messaging back is probably preferable, but I don't quite know what to say and I'll still no doubt see him in future anyway.

Thanks

I'd say he's not confident at all, hence his trying to say he likes you but repeatedly messing it up.

Message him back saying you're not interested. Friendly but blunt.

I'd message back and say you're not interested. Hopefully that will be enough to stop him contacting you

Literally that? "Thanks, but I'm not interested"?

Just message “hi that’s really flattering but I’m sorry I’m in a relationship”.

Even if it’s a lie!

I think I would say 'thanks for asking but I am currently in a relationship'

I've probably made myself sound like a wee young thing. I'm 36! But I still don't know how to handle things like this.

I would message back with a polite but firm 'no'. Just say thank you for the offer, but that you do not want to have a drink with him. You don't need to give him a reason.

With his first message he has tried to hook you in and get you to message him back out of curiosity rather than just ask you out directly, and I would guess that he is quite manipulative.

If you see him on the street be polite but busy, and hopefully he will get the message .

Just that, 'thanks but I'm not interested.' No need for anything more.

His behaviour is inappropriate at best. Suggest one message simply asking him not to contact you again, and telling people in RL about his unwanted behaviour.

That's very flattering but I'm not interested. All the best, Nopleasedont.

I agree with everyone else. Don't say you are flattered though as you aren't and he may read this wrong as you like him a bit Short and to the point and then pat yourself on the back and put him of your mind :)

Leave out the references to being ‘flattered’. Mr Pushy might well read that as ‘Push some more and I might change my mind.’ And don’t invent a boyfriend — that just goes along with the sexist narrative that the only women off-limits are those pre-owned by other men —just be polite and firm and say you’re not interested in having a drink with him.

I’m not sure why it’s inappropriate? Obviously it’s unwanted and more than ok for you to just politely say ‘thank you for your messages but you’re not looking for a relationship’. He’s only trying to make contact with someone he would like to get to know.. that’s often how people initiate things and I assume he’s open to the idea that you may say no thanks. Doesn’t sound like he’s been too forward. It is awkward if it comes from someone you have zero interest in but simple enough to say no thanks!

Okay, I will message back.

He's very polite. He messaged me last year to tell me I'd left my car window open. That's when I realised it was him who had left me flowers before. But it makes me feel uneasy never knowing when I walk out my door if he might be there and what he might say.

He’s contacted her three times, with long gaps between them, and doesn’t seem to be getting the message that the OP’s not interested. If she were, she’d have replied. That’s why it’s inappropriate.

He’s only trying to make contact with someone he would like to get to know.. that’s often how people initiate things and I assume he’s open to the idea that you may say no thanks. Doesn’t sound like he’s been too forward.

If he had asked the OP out once I would agree with you, but he has asked her three times.

It is not difficult to tell when someone doesn't want to go out with you, and by persisting he is ignoring her signals.

I didn't reply and thought he had obviously had one too many. Haven't seen him around, thankfully. I've realised he is the same guy who left me a card and flowers on my car a few xmas' ago, with his number inside.

That's just weird and creepy. Don't put in anything about being flattered or being in a relationship, just reply saying 'I'm not interested'.

His behaviour is dodgy as.

Once is ok but several times isn’t. Polite but firm rebuff needed.

And if you feel uneasy it's for a reason - listen to your instinct.

I don't think he's being pushy or worrying. If he carries on after you've said no that would be pushy.

I'd reply "thanks for the offer, but I would rather remain as neighbour's/friends."

Don't say you're flattered. Just keep and blunt and straight to the point.

Mad he still hasn't really gotten the message at this point anyway

‘thank you for your messages but you’re not looking for a relationship’

This could lead to him saying "oh it's only a drink" and continuing to push. And OP is NOT thankful for the messages.

A firm "no thank you" is all that is needed.

For 'confident man' I read pushy and entitled. This type of man needs things spelling out very clearly.

She’s said no, Honey. He’s made three approaches, and she’s responded to none of them.

Yes - she needs to say no. See what happens then when No has been clearly and firmly stated.