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Original poster

He insists he's not using tinder, but the location still changes

27 replies

abbyintw · 29/12/2018 09:58

So this guy is my bf, I suppose...
We live in different cities, I visited him for the first date, he asked me to be his gf after first date, we had sex, and because both of us don't want ONS, I think that's why he asked, for this statement, our distance on tinder was 61km.

Few days later, I agreed to be his gf, but by the time, he went to another city for work, and the distance on tinder became 134km, so I knew he used it when he's in the city he's working at, I asked if he's still using tinder? because I see the distance changed, but he sent me his screenshot to show me tinder is uninstalled, I said maybe you deleted it just to show me, he wasn't happy about this.

I went to that city to visit him for Christmas eve, he showed me on his phone again, that tinder is uninstalled.

So he's still in that city, I still go on tinder to see if his location changes, and it does, it was 134km, then it became 132, then 134 again.

I knew something was wrong, so last night, I used cheaterbuster to see if he's still active on tinder, and the result was yes, so I asked him if he's happy with me, he said yes, just busy with work, then I asked him why is still using tinder? because he's bored? or he's looking for other options?

He said whatever I think, he didn't meet anyone after me, so I asked does he admit that he's still using it? he insists he's not, and told ne he knows what kinda character he is, so I can't accuse him for something "he didn't do", he said he didn't do anything wrong, and he's not using tinder.

But after this argument, I went on tinder, and saw his distance became 137km, I asked him again, let's say he's not using it, but is it still installed on his phone? that's why the location changed? he still insists that he doesn't have it.

I don't know what to do or to believe anymore..

OP posts:
Wingbing · 29/12/2018 10:00

I’d steer clear if I were you. Nothing about this sounds healthy.

reservoircats · 29/12/2018 10:04

Is this hassle so early on really worth it for a guy you have only met a couple of times? Bin him off and find someone worth your time.

mirren3 · 29/12/2018 10:06

How long were you actually seeing him for?
Sounds like he's still using Tinder....and you!

DameSquashalot · 29/12/2018 10:09

It doesn't sound worth the hassle or the doubt.

Wexler · 29/12/2018 10:12

If he’s deleted the app of his phone but not deleted his account I think he can still show up. I had a old POF account which I deleted of my phone and only realised I was still on it when I googled myself Confused I had to physically log in again and delete my profile, it was actually quite difficult to do

pinkyredrose · 29/12/2018 10:15

Just get rid, you obviously don't trust him.

bigchris · 29/12/2018 10:16

It's a long distance relationship

You slept with him on the first date

You're already paranoid he's seeing other people

I'd let him find someone closer

PikaPikaTink · 29/12/2018 10:17

How are you seeing this unless you are also still on tinder?

I think it's a bit full on to be officially in a relationship after only one date to be honest.

Ginger153 · 29/12/2018 10:19

Why haven't you uninstalled it?! If you're feeling the need to monitor him before your relationship is even established, that's very worrying.

Original poster
abbyintw · 29/12/2018 10:23

I'm only on tinder to see if he's location updates...

It's long distance, I didn't want to sleep with him on the first date, but he tried, and I couldn't help it..

When he asked me to be his gf, I said we don't know each other, but he seemed very sincere, and he told me I will not be alone anymore, so I thought I'd give it a chance...

OP posts:
Loka123 · 29/12/2018 10:40

How old are you and him, OP?

I think it's entirely possible that the profile can still exist after the person has uninstalled tindr (I've seen it happen) BUT I really don't think the location (distance away) would keep changing if he wasn't using it. The only key explanations I can think of from a technical perspective is perhaps he's got the app "hidden" so it doesn't show on his phone home screen - on iPhones (at least ones with newer software), you can check the list of all apps on that phone by going to "settings" and scrolling down.

Also, might it be that he has MULTIPLE phones?? I'm not entirely sure if it'll work but as far as I know, the app relies on a facebook log-in so might he be logging into the tindr account via a different phone that he's kept hidden from you?

Keep us updated :)

Original poster
abbyintw · 29/12/2018 10:49

@Loka123

I'm 28, he's 25

We both use iphone, the screenshot he showed me was tinder at appstore, with the cloud icon, that means it's downloaded before, but it's not installed now.

I'm not sure if he has other phones, he kept saying he's really smart, if he wants to do it behind my back, he could just create a new account, or he could also block me on tinder, and tell me he deleted it.

I'm really confused now.

OP posts:
Thespace · 29/12/2018 10:51

He needs to actually delete the account.

SparklyMagpie · 29/12/2018 10:53

I'd just end it

You shouldn't be wanting to check his location all the time, especially from the beginning

AFistfulofDolores1 · 29/12/2018 11:37

I didn't want to sleep with him on the first date, but he tried, and I couldn't help it..

Yes. Yes you could.

Please start empowering yourself.

Russell19 · 29/12/2018 11:39

Just stop checking up on him and see how it goes....you've only just met. It doesn't really matter if he's using it or not at this stage if he likes you it'll work and he will be with you. Screenshots etc sound like you're being a bit OTT with him x

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 29/12/2018 11:40

To be honest the whole thing sounds weird and unhealthy. You didn’t want to sleep with him and he pressured you, that in itself is a dumpable offence.

bigchris · 29/12/2018 11:41

Everything about this sounds wrong

You slept together once and he said you'd never be alone ?

Sexnotgender · 29/12/2018 11:47

You sound obsessed and stalker like!

Littlechocola · 29/12/2018 11:49

Sounds really unhealthy. You not him.

Notacluethisxmas · 29/12/2018 12:31

What if he is only on tinder to check up on you?

It's long distance, I didn't want to sleep with him on the first date, but he tried, and I couldn't help it.

What are you saying with this statement

Because this comes across as a total cop out. You couldn't help it? You are a grown woman. Of course you could help it.

This isn't a relationship. It's a lot of stress that both of you don't need.

trojanpony · 29/12/2018 14:32

You should end this relationship.

He is probably messing you about but even if he isn’t there is no trust.

This stage of the relationship should be all rainbows and roses, not drama and detective work.

Sisterlove · 29/12/2018 14:58

I suggest you end it, as without trust you have nothing.

How serious are you expecting the relationship to be? Because I'd say look for an older guy for starters and one who lives closer to you.

The location obsession is unhealthy.

Closetbeanmuncher · 29/12/2018 15:02

Do you really need to ask?

Sit and have a long think about why you're willing to entertain this bullshit instead of just getting rid.

Some people just live for pointless dramas I guess ConfusedBlush

forumdonkey · 29/12/2018 15:12

Hypocrisy at its best! You sound nuts OP. Look, you're both still on tinder so why don't you finish it?

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