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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He insists he's not using tinder, but the location still changes

27 replies

abbyintw · 29/12/2018 09:58

So this guy is my bf, I suppose...
We live in different cities, I visited him for the first date, he asked me to be his gf after first date, we had sex, and because both of us don't want ONS, I think that's why he asked, for this statement, our distance on tinder was 61km.

Few days later, I agreed to be his gf, but by the time, he went to another city for work, and the distance on tinder became 134km, so I knew he used it when he's in the city he's working at, I asked if he's still using tinder? because I see the distance changed, but he sent me his screenshot to show me tinder is uninstalled, I said maybe you deleted it just to show me, he wasn't happy about this.

I went to that city to visit him for Christmas eve, he showed me on his phone again, that tinder is uninstalled.

So he's still in that city, I still go on tinder to see if his location changes, and it does, it was 134km, then it became 132, then 134 again.

I knew something was wrong, so last night, I used cheaterbuster to see if he's still active on tinder, and the result was yes, so I asked him if he's happy with me, he said yes, just busy with work, then I asked him why is still using tinder? because he's bored? or he's looking for other options?

He said whatever I think, he didn't meet anyone after me, so I asked does he admit that he's still using it? he insists he's not, and told ne he knows what kinda character he is, so I can't accuse him for something "he didn't do", he said he didn't do anything wrong, and he's not using tinder.

But after this argument, I went on tinder, and saw his distance became 137km, I asked him again, let's say he's not using it, but is it still installed on his phone? that's why the location changed? he still insists that he doesn't have it.

I don't know what to do or to believe anymore..

OP posts:
YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 29/12/2018 15:19

I'm only on tinder to see if he's location updates...

He may be doing the same??
He may also think you're cheating and still using tinder for its intended purpose, which is not stalking your partner.

It all sounds extremely immature. I'm surprised you're in your late 20's. I would have guessed teens.

Sallygoroundthemoon · 29/12/2018 17:40

End it and learn to not do this. This sort of stuff will do your head in. I've been there with Tinder with a couple of dates where I kept looking to see if the location had changed (which it did) and it made my anxiety go through the roof. My current boyfriend came off Tinder as soon as we agreed to be exclusive and I looked a couple of days ago to re-read his early messages and his location was as it was several months ago so I know he's kept his word. Location only updates when you open the app, not when it is just on your phone.

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