Is he abusive, do I need to leave?

[louisianna36]

Hi all, I need the opinions of some wise women, I have name changed as frankly I'm embarrassed as I often give advice but I'm struggling myself in my marriage of 12 years.

DH is very unorganised and forgetful, loses his keys, phone, bank card etc and it's incredibly frustrating, he then gets shitty or moody with me if I can't immediately fix it for him or if I then get annoyed by it. So 2 days ago when he forgot two things he needed and I then had to sort it for him (making us both late), I said "it's so bloody annoying when you do this as it then becomes my problem and inconveniences me. You don't say sorry babe, my fault I should have remembered x. You are then in a shitty mood with me"

His reply "well when I am running late and have forgotten something that last thing I need is a lecture from you."

I proceeded to say "it's like having 2 children and you are like a manchild"

He then ended the argument with "I hate you and I'm done with you".

We haven't spoken since.

I totally get the 'man child' comment. Its sheer frustration. You've had enough of the lack of accountability. I SO GET IT.

'Stop blaming everyone else and take f*g responsibility for your own sht and your own behaviour in this construct that is supposed to be a family. DO SOMETHING!!'

Oh my God, do I get it.

Deep breaths x

Sanitysake that was basically what I said to him in my frustration, but that then triggered "I'm done with you, I hate you".

A cock up from me as then he can say "you were having a go at me do you think that's helpful? You called me a name."