Realistic budget for partner working away?

[Madmozzie]

My h will be working away for the majority of the coming year, and will be getting slightly increased pay because of it. We have spoken numerous times about saving up for various things, but don't manage to save much on usual pay. I have been unsuccessful in increasing my income, so there's nothing to rely on from that area.

I'd like him to set a budget, as some other colleagues do, but in the past he just spends as he likes. Even though the company provides meals, he will go out for dinner every weekend he can, and often every evening for weeks at a stretch. This is of course followed up by drinks in bars, often til the early hours, as well as sightseeing, some hotel stays and the usual weekend lunches and shopping you do while away from home and bored.
It's the frequent meals out which really annoy me, as there's no way me and the kids could afford to do that, and I don't see how he can justify that treat so often esp as meals are already provided. Many of his colleagues are not married with kids, so it's not the same for them. I can understand getting bored while away, but he surely could meet up for drinks after and not treat himself to eating out so often? Me and the DC font eat out, sightsee etc, and I can't remember the last time I went out for drinks either with or without him!

So what would be a realistic budget? Eating out twice a week (still more than I do!)? A set amount of money per week? No matter what I suggest, I think it will meet with some resistance when it comes down to actually sticking with it, so how do other ppl go about it? It's our best opportunity for saving money, otherwise I'll just be scrimping in other areas while he's out living the high life.

To answer your question, yes, you should be getting a similar amount of discretionary spending, accounting for cost of living (obviously, if he's say, in Dubai, it's going to cost more for the same meal out than in Aberdeen). You need to do what most people do with their incomes, decide how much you need for standing bills that you pay every month, quarter, annually, etc. Then take a look at roughly what you need for household expenses each month like food shopping, new clothes/shoes, children's activities, etc. It will change month to month, but if you have a rough idea (you can both always add in more if you need more). You set an amount each month to go to savings from each of you. You put in a proportionate amount of your salaries into that pot so that you have the same proportion left over. That's your discretionary spending to spend on yourselves, adjusted to an extent for cost of living and to cover things like food shopping for him or any bills he needs to pay locally, etc. You don't have to spend it (you can save it for yourself if you want), but no one gets to dip into the family pot if they overspend on nights out. He just needs to eat at the canteen for the rest of the month.

Good luck

Work out total income - it all goes into one pot.
Deduct household expenses
Deduct rainy day fund
The remainder is divided by three: you, him, kids stuff. Whizz those over to individual accounts for spends.
The joint account is then only used for household bills.

But tbh OP, I think you're onto a loser here. Unless he's completely on board with this, it's not going to work. It sounds like he's just paying lip service to the idea.

Lady
I tend to buy main, pudding and then buy a glass of wine with my own money if I am feeling the urge - the alcohol element will be disregarded on the receipt anyway, regardless of whether or not it falls within the total amount.