Argument with mum over her weird male friend

[Ishiede]

This morning my mum asked me to take my kids to hers as her friends (male and female both very old) were visiting. I refused because the male is very strange with my daughter. Wants to cuddle, sit her on his lap and takes photos of her. It might be entirely innocent but I’m not comfortable with it. She said it was very embarrassing, I have it all wrong and she will remember this. I’m not wrong am I?

Definitely-I just loathed the man and hated being around him but was made to feel I was being bad for saying so or just laughed at.
I wouldn't think of putting my DD's in that situation now but stuff like that was pushed under the carpet far more then I guess...

Yes my mum is insulted that I think one of her friends could possibly be weird with kids. I’ve got it all wrong apparently. That’s fine if I do, at least my child is safe.

I would report him to police after demanding he delete the photos of your child. I'd rather make a false report than ignore a potential abuser

This was ages ago. He took photos of us, mostly of her which was ok. But then he sat her on his lap and I had to take her off him. It went all a bit weird. Every time they come my mum asks and everytime I say no.

I totally get it OP. Creepy men like this have always been around, and sadly there have always been some women who either choose to ignore their gut or have no gut

I’ve spoken to her tonight. Apparently she can’t remember the incident that happened. It was a couple of years ago. She said she would just have to accept how I feel. I explained I’m sure he’s lovely but if there 1% doubt in my mind about someone, I’d rather be wrong and know my kids are safe.

Good for you. DH and I had bad feelings about a relative's partner who was going to have contact with our DC around other adults including DH's parents. We spoke to them and made it very clear we didn't want him alone with our DC. What we were saying was quite shocking to them as they thought he was wonderful. But they accepted it and respected it. Not too long after he split with the family member and he's proven to everyone that he is a huge manipulator and abusive arse. Whether our concerns about him round kids were well placed we don't know. Hopefully not and there's one less paedo in the world that we thought but I'm so glad we stood firm. As pp's have said, your number one job is to protect them. If that means putting your foot down about someone you find weird so be it!