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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH sex drive was woefully low, but now it's through the roof. Wtf is going on?

57 replies

Huskylover1 · 27/12/2018 22:14

No idea what to make of this.

My sex drive has always been a lot higher than his. When we have sex, it is amazing, BUT we often go 3-7 weeks with no sex, which drives me mad. I have told him many times it could be a deal breaker, because he rejects my advances.

He went to GP for a Testosterone check, which came back normal.

He bought Viagra, which sits in the bedside drawer. He downloaded Porn to try to get in the mood and said he felt nothing on watching it (which really worried me).

Anyway, fast forward to last week, and (after 10 years of the above), he suddenly is massively sexed up. It's like he has been abducted by aliens and replaced. Following me around the house, snogging me constantly, groping my boobs, getting massive erections, cannot leave me alone and we've had sex every day this week.

I am massively confused! WTF is going on?

Has anyone experienced this?

OP posts:
HappenstanceMarmite · 27/12/2018 22:50

Has he got hold of some testosterone? That can have a huge effect on libido...for men and women.

Huskylover1 · 27/12/2018 22:53

backintheroom and happenstance

NO.

Not at all. He is a scruffy man who takes no care in personal grooming, however, he is VERY handsome so gets away with it.

OP posts:
BackInTheRoom · 27/12/2018 22:53

Has he got hold of some testosterone? That can have a huge effect on libido...for men and women.

WANT! ^😉

whatsnewchoochoo · 27/12/2018 22:55

Has anything changed to make him happier?

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 27/12/2018 22:56

He took the viagra?

MumsyJ · 27/12/2018 23:00

Enjoy it, I don't think it's anything to do with affair, he must have been following some guidelines on erection/ high sex drive, and it's worked and he's super excited by the manifestation right before his eyes ( he's been missing it too and probably felt helpless... not anymore now). You asked for a high sex driven man, you got it girl. Enjoy it whilst it lasts.

Crunched · 27/12/2018 23:04

Has something made him realise that he needs to value you more? Illness/death of a contemporary sometimes makes people realise they need to grab happiness while they can and make the most of their loved ones.

Whatshouldidointhenewyear · 27/12/2018 23:11

My best guess: He’s feeling more sexually aroused, it’s likely to be caused by a person. Not necessarily an affair, but someone has got his juices flowing - thinking about them makes him want sex.

Ullupullu · 27/12/2018 23:15

Emotional affair or a crush. ie he feels sexy again.

OoohAyyye · 27/12/2018 23:20

Could be a crush. Perhaps not though. Sometimes I see my DP in a different light. It's almost like I'm looking at him from a different angle and I think about the reasons why I appreciate him so much and that then makes me feel like I've just met him all over again where I can't get enough of him.

Perhaps your DP is taking a moment to really acknowledge and appreciate you too.

SandyY2K · 27/12/2018 23:22

Enjoy it. He's realised he could lose you and is stepping up.

SanitysSake · 30/12/2018 05:39

Oh my word... I wouldn't complain unless you have something to complain about. Don't question... ENJOY!

And point him in the direction of 'activities' you'd 'appreciate'.

And now I am thoroughly jealous!!

ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley · 30/12/2018 05:43

Sorry to say this but in the absence of anything else like an affair or viagra I would be thinking of a tumour of some sort. I would be getting him checked out. The side effects might be enjoyable but a sudden change like this would make me think of a hormone producing cancer of some sort.

Expatworkingmum · 30/12/2018 05:51

It really could be nothing. Sometimes just a bit of change in mindset can be all it takes. Maybe he had a rude dream about you and that shook him out of his slump.

jessstan2 · 30/12/2018 06:07

As time goes on there is less worry and stress, for example about finances. He can relax more now.

Enjoy it!

EYDavis · 30/12/2018 06:17

Sounds like a good thing. Other posters are jealous and so the cry goes up - "affair" etc. Sex is an aphrodisiac and so once you start having sex frequently, you will both want it more often. Don't let some of the miseries here detract from your relationship taking a positive turn.

GrandmaJane · 30/12/2018 06:23

Affair on not, get it while you can. Slap a condom on those ‘huge erections’ just in case. Enjoy. If you need to weep later, you can. But you’ll have something to look back on.

Weezol · 30/12/2018 06:29

Is it possible he's fibbed about his testosterone being 'normal' and is taking some meds on the quiet?

Weenurse · 30/12/2018 06:29

Could be lack of confidence, tried the viagra and it worked. Realised he did not need the viagra for it to work and now has renewed confidence

franklyshankly2 · 30/12/2018 06:36

OP I would wait until the more sensible posters come on in the morning Hmm

strawberrisc · 30/12/2018 06:43

@franklyshankly2

OP I would wait until the more sensible posters come on in the morning hmm

Couldn’t agree more. Affairs and brain tumours. Gee whizz.

primoestate · 30/12/2018 06:50

Maybe he's heard someone admire you, or say what a fabulous woman you are? And he's decided to up his game for fear of losing you.
Or he's just got into a more relaxed time in life.
My DH is rampant on high days and holidays but very much less so on a day to day basis. And he's very reactive to me being in a happy frame of mind.
Could any of these be true of your situation?

Scott72 · 30/12/2018 07:00

A sudden sustained huge increase in libido like this is quite remarkable. Even psychological reasons like primoestate mentions seem inadequate for explaining how he can suddenly go from dead in the water to acting like a randy teenager for days on end. My guess is he's r surreptitiously taking testosterone supplements.

LaughingCow99 · 30/12/2018 07:04

You wanted more sex and now you're getting it?
What a fucking liberty! Leave the bastard!!!

God that made me laughGrin

What's more likely: he understands if he doesn't make more effort he loses his wife or,

A man not interested in sex for 10 years decides he does want it And has an affair.

Enjoy it, unless you have reason to believe he has suddenly met someone else that hasn't worn him out.

Scott72 · 30/12/2018 11:16

"What's more likely: he understands if he doesn't make more effort he loses his wife"

If you're male with a low libido, then the spontaneous erections OP describes probably aren't happening even if you make a conscious effort. Low libido in men usually isn't just a case of laziness. Something has changed. Well perhaps its not testosterone supplements. Probably just his brain chemistry has spontaneously sorted itself out giving him this newfound energy. Lucky guy in that case.

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