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Relationships

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Original poster

sharing my home

46 replies

phatdavejr · 27/12/2018 15:12

Hi all. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and would like her to move in with me. I have recently purchased a shared ownership flat. My rent is £600 a month plus mortgage payments of £450 a month. I have suggested that I pay the mortgage and she pays £500 toward the rent. I think we should split the bills in half.

My girlfriend thinks it's more fair if we split both the rent and the bills in half. Who do you think is right?

OP posts:

HollowTalk · 27/12/2018 15:14

I'd say it's far, far too soon to share finances.

What would you want to happen financially if you split up? For you to stay in the flat with all the equity? What would she expect to happen?

I'd get her to sign a contract waiving any rights to the flat before I'd live with her, then I'd charge her a fair rent based on local rentals, plus half the bills.

Hofuckingho · 27/12/2018 15:20

If I'm reading that right, it hardly makes any difference.

HeebieJeebies456 · 27/12/2018 15:31

6 months?
That's waaaaay too soon to be pooling finances and moving in - in my opinion.
Will she be transferring her share of rent (and labelled as such) to you?
Cos if you don't make it clear then she can always turn round later on down the line and claim that she was actually paying that money towards your mortgage - and in law she will have a claim/legal interest on your property in that scenario.
Same if she contributes towards any maintenance/repairs/renovations and your equity increases as a result.

I guess you're going to learn through your own mistakes though. So, i would suggest that you make your mortgage payments separately yourself and keep a clear record of this.

As for rent and bills - are you both earning the same wage?
If you're on two different wages then the fairest thing would be to contribute proportionally which would leave you both with enough personal spending money.
Sometimes 50% isn't fair if you're the lower earner and you end up not having enough leftover to be able to contribute fairly to holidays/savings/going out/spends etc.

Bananalanacake · 27/12/2018 15:35

Give it at least another 3 years and then see if you want to live together. A year is way too soon. Hopefully she has her own place.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/12/2018 15:37

You said she wants to move in with you but do you want to live with her? This seems v soon- what’s her current living situation

Iloveacurry · 27/12/2018 15:40

She probably more right than you. If you had your way, she’s practically paying half the mortgage and rent anyway. So if you then split up, she’s paid half but then walking away with nothing.

LemonTT · 27/12/2018 15:45

I think the shared ownership is a confusing point. The issue is her status in relation to the property. Is she basically your lodger, legally that is. If so she should pay no more than the market rate to live there. That is, a rental fee plus contribution to the property bills.

If you both want to live together sharing the investment then you need an agreement to reflect that and the shared responsibilities towards the property as an investment. Although I expect she has decided against investment because if she did want to do that she would have invested in a share of the property.

starzig · 27/12/2018 15:46

We are more your kind of more relaxed way. This split down the middle accurately thing hints of money control issues further down the line.

Original poster

phatdavejr · 27/12/2018 15:48

So just to clarify the 2 options are:

Her paying half the rent - £300/month
Her paying most of the rent - £500/month.

Both options would also include half the bills. My gf thinks option 1 is fairer, I think option 2 is.

She's currently renting a room in a shared house for £840/month plus bills and is happy to carry on there. I want her to move in with me, but she's not so sure. She wants to save for her own place, and I think moving in with me will help with that.

She earns less than me.

OP posts:

ISdads · 27/12/2018 15:54

Option 1 is fairer imo as that way you are both sharing the rent. You might be better off just getting a lodger if you want help with costs.

starzig · 27/12/2018 16:39

So you want her to pay half the mortgage, half the rent and half the bills. This is fine if her name is going on the owned part of the house. Is she is having no stake in the house ownership part then she should just pay half rent and bills

Morgan12 · 27/12/2018 16:44

I would say half rent and half bills. Unless her name will be going on the mortgage?

Ragwort · 27/12/2018 16:47

Far too soon to move in together, sounds as though she’s not that bothered anyway .... why are so keen to have her move in (or is it the obvious reason?).

Just carry on dating & review in another 6 months time

GabrielKnight · 27/12/2018 16:53

Unless her name is on the mortgage, option 1 is the fairest.

Rainbowshine · 27/12/2018 17:01

I don’t think your option 2 is at all fair, she’d be paying off your mortgage without having any benefit of ownership on paper. If I was her this would be ringing alarm bells about your attitude towards money in a relationship. It is very early in the relationship for you to be moving in together, and to be blunt it looks like you’re using her to pay your financial commitments for you. I’m not surprised she’s reluctant. Her plan to invest for herself is much better for her.

MrsFezziwig · 27/12/2018 17:12

Why do you think she should pay more rent than you? The mortgage payments are a separate issue and are only benefiting you not her, since her name won’t be on the mortgage. If you go for Option 1 then you’ll both be better off, as you will get half the non-mortgage expenses paid and she will be better off than in her current place so will have a chance to save up. If you go for Option 2 then she won’t be much better off and will have no security if you fall out.

ScottyDog7 · 27/12/2018 17:20

I can see her point if she was paying £500 she is either paying a lot of the 'rent' or paying towards your mortgage. But is she only pays half the 'rent' she's getting such a good deal because you are paying for all the mortgage half.
If she moved in with you and it was all mortgage then I would still expect her to pay some 'rent' or lodging fee for having a roof over her head, so I think it should be more than 1/2 the 'rent' section of your costs, but maybe think about what living there but not having anything if you separate is actually worth.

Armchairanarchist · 27/12/2018 17:33

Option 2 you're taking the piss!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/12/2018 17:42

I’m slightly confused at the objection- if someone just had a mortgage and it was £1050, how much would someone be expected to contribute? Should someone pay the going rate for rent in the area?

Barginbasementbackdoor · 27/12/2018 17:47

I think Option 2 is a piss take too. Option one is fair and the rent should not be split 50/50 but proportunately according to salary, so she could be paying less than 300 if she earns substantually less than you.

HollowTalk · 27/12/2018 21:30

If you've got two bedrooms, I'd say get a lodger (not her) and ask for £500 rent and half the bills.

HeddaGarbled · 27/12/2018 21:43

Yeah, you’re definitely taking the piss. You want her to move in so she can pay half your expenses on your home ownership. She’s fine where she is. You don’t mention option 3 which is she doesn’t move in and you pay for your own home all by yourself.

Dirtybadger · 27/12/2018 21:52

Wait a couple of years and then buy a house together. That way it can be fairer.

Youbrokemytwatometer · 27/12/2018 21:54

So she's to move in with you, pay half your rent and then she'll move back out?

No way. Leave it as it is.

If I genuinely wanted to help someone save for their own place, I'd tell them to move in and cover their expenses only.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 27/12/2018 21:55

Agree with PPs saying option 2 is taking the piss.

You’ve only been together 6 months, she’s happy where she is yet you’re pushing for her to move in with you with her paying Option 2.

Do you usually move this fast or only when you’re financially going to benefit from it (her)?

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