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Original poster

Love at first sight...well ish! Is it possible?

52 replies

Rocklover · 26/06/2007 20:30

Ok, so I am a complete saddo as I posted about my new boyfriend last week. But I am genuinely curious to see what people think.

Here goes, we have been going out now for around 6 weeks, we only see each other at weekends (mainly because of his work and my DD), but we phone and text every day. When we had been going out about 3 weeks, he looked me in the eyes and said he loved me, I was totally terrified and did not say it back. But a week later...I had the sinking realisation that I had fallen for him too. Whilst it is a lovely, heady feeling to be in love, do you think this is possible?

He is a lovely guy (has his faults though, as do I), but is quite intense and very sensitive which can be good and bad. Part of me thought that the "love" I felt was just being smitten....but it isn't, I really am in love ith him. I am sooo scared.

Do you think I am just completely mad, or is this possible?? What the hell do I do now? So frightened of being hurt again.

OP posts:
ChristyC · 26/06/2007 20:42

I think its confusion between love and lust. I read a post on here a while back that said we are programmed to feel lust for approx 2 years, the length of time it takes to meet, get to know (a bit) and to reproduce. I think love comes after years of knowing each other intimately and sharing experiences (alledgedly!)

Original poster
Rocklover · 26/06/2007 20:46

Hmmm, I thought the same and yes we are very attracted to each other, but we are not at it all the time. So I still feel weird lol.

OP posts:
lulumama · 26/06/2007 20:46

After the first date with my DH, I went home, woke up my parents, and told them i would marry him

3 weeks later we got engaged

5 months later I moved in with him

17 months later we got married

and we have been together 10 years, have 2 DCs , so it worked for us

UnConfident · 26/06/2007 20:49

I was dating my dh for 2 months when it was Xmas. He wrote in my Xmas card that this was the first of many Xmasses he would kiss me under the miseltoe.

12 years later, he was right

lulumama · 26/06/2007 20:50

I am the least spontaneous person, a total creature of habit, don;t like taking chances, but when I met DH, i knew i had to take a chance, as he was the one

it was worth the gamble

Rubyslippers · 26/06/2007 20:51

yes!
was love (and lust) at first sight for me and DH
5 years and one DS later we are doing fine!

Piffle · 26/06/2007 20:52

same I knew instantly with dp
but he took more time but 6.5 yrs and 2 more kids later he is the surest one

Aitch · 26/06/2007 20:52

dh asked me to marry him within a week, we moved in together in a new flat within the month.[slut]

Rubyslippers · 26/06/2007 20:52

not as slutty as me - slept with DH the night i met him

Aitch · 26/06/2007 20:54

i was deliberately vague about when i actually put out, ruby...

Rubyslippers · 26/06/2007 20:55

aaah

Piffle · 26/06/2007 20:55

Yep we did the first date shag too

Wordsmith · 26/06/2007 20:56

Christy, that's a bit cynical - I think most people know the difference between love and lust. I certainly knew how I felt about DH within 6 weeks of being together. I have felt the same about other blokes before then but it didn't work out in the long run - but that doesn't mean I didn't love them.

Go for it Rocklover - don't deny to yourself how you feel!

saralou · 26/06/2007 20:56

we'd been together less than a month when we moved in together... minor detail though, we saw each other everyday from the day we met!

we've been together 5 years now, 2 boys and i still fancy the pants of him!

MrsScavo · 26/06/2007 20:57

DH and I just knew we were right for each other when we met. He asked me to marry him after three days. I told him to ask me again in the morning when he was sobber. He never did, but a year later I reminded him, and he took me to buy a ring. That was 10 years ago, and we now have 3 DC's.

SpawnChorus · 26/06/2007 21:04

I firmly believe in L.A.F.S. DH and I met when we were 19. I was utterly smitten from the first moment (more than lust), and so was he. We...ahem...got together within 2 days, moved in together after about 4 days, and we decided to get married after about 10 days. That was 12 years ago. Those early weeks were incredibly intense - it was truly like a form of madness. He is my soulmate (go on, pass the sick bag around )

So yes, tis possible. What do you want to do now?

If I were you, I'd revel in your love

ChristyC · 26/06/2007 21:04

Sorry, didn't mean to be cynical, just expressing an opinion

Original poster
Rocklover · 26/06/2007 21:24

Thank the lord I am not the only one!! Things moved fairly fast with my soon to be ex hubby..BUT, I was young and naive then and didn't feel anything like this!

The attraction we feel seems to be electric (oh and he said he loved my stretch marks hee hee), he is soooo my type of guy, into rock, in a band, very intelligent, fantastically good with words, has good job, own place etc and .....er is pretty good in the bedroom too.

Please let this work out or I will be a VERY unhappy lady...still haven't a clue why he wants to date me! He sent a text yesterday saying "Just in case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm in love with you". After telling me he loved me continously for the last 3 weeks.

Ok sick bags ahoy...I have banged on enough. Wish me luck girls!!!

OP posts:
madamez · 26/06/2007 21:43

Well, enjoy! Even if it doesn't last very long, don't spoil the nice bits by worrying about the future. People can be intensely attracted to one another, but this is invariably short lived. To stay as a couple after the initial thrill goes requires both parties to be reasonably similar in their wishes, outlooks, views - or at least to be able to accept the differences - and both need to feel that it's a good time to pairbond for a while.

All this stuff about soulmates is rubbish, BTW: it's just a matter of meeting one of many potential people who are reasonably attractive to you, housetrained, not mental and similarly inclined, at the time of meeting, to pairbond.
But that fun-filled bit of time when you are first getting jiggy with someone you like is one of life's great treats, even if it doesn't last for more than a fortnight before one party or the other reveals themselves to be a quilt-thief, flatulent or a Blairite or something.

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 07:50

Just a thought but, If love is blind how is love at first sight possible??

fanella · 27/06/2007 07:58

He sounds really nice rocklover. In fact, I think I love him

Seriously, life's too short to worry about it, just enjoy.

I knew pretty much straight away with DH, and I've been in love with him for eleven years now..and he with me! (God, feel like a giggly schoolgirl all of a sudden)

fillyjonk · 27/06/2007 08:02

yes its possible

DivaSkyChick · 27/06/2007 08:07

Rocklover,

My DH told me he loved me in the first few weeks, too. I kept telling him "that's just lust" and he said "how about if I just keep telling you how I feel and you just let me love you" - it was really sweet and made me feel whole again after a huge break up of a very LTR.

He "unofficially" proposed after 8 weeks and officially - with ring and the whole shebang - after four months of knowing each other. We were married seven months after that and our first baby is due a month after our first wedding anniversary. What I'm saying is that YES, love at first sight exists and is real. It's what you do with that love that is so important. Nurture it, treat it (and him) as the most special thing in the world. NEVER be mean to one another. I know we're together just two years this August but we are as loved up as our first night together.

Sorry to ramble, he just got on a plane to NY for work and I miss him already!

You could get hurt again but would you rather go thru life "safe" and alone?

Pan · 27/06/2007 08:10

Is this thread sponsored by Mills and Boon?

Steady RL, in my humble opinion. The 'love' word is very, and all too easily taken out for an airing. When he says he 'loves' you,after such a short space of time, it implies a "neediness" he has......ask him how soon he has said this in the past to partners, who are all now ex-s.........
The head over heels thing is truly wonderful, a form of madness, giddy, sexy, exciting, have been there .....but love?? That really is based in 'trust' and you can't have developed that yet.

WaynettaSlob · 27/06/2007 08:30

First time I met my DH I knew that I was going to marry him. He was going out with someone else at the time, but I bade my time, and when he was eventually single started 'working' on him. We have been together for 10years, married for 5, and have 2 DCs and I still love him.