Love at first sight...well ish! Is it possible?

[Rocklover]

Ok, so I am a complete saddo as I posted about my new boyfriend last week. But I am genuinely curious to see what people think.

Here goes, we have been going out now for around 6 weeks, we only see each other at weekends (mainly because of his work and my DD), but we phone and text every day. When we had been going out about 3 weeks, he looked me in the eyes and said he loved me, I was totally terrified and did not say it back. But a week later...I had the sinking realisation that I had fallen for him too. Whilst it is a lovely, heady feeling to be in love, do you think this is possible?

He is a lovely guy (has his faults though, as do I), but is quite intense and very sensitive which can be good and bad. Part of me thought that the "love" I felt was just being smitten....but it isn't, I really am in love ith him. I am sooo scared.

Do you think I am just completely mad, or is this possible?? What the hell do I do now? So frightened of being hurt again.

DH moved in after 2 weeks. My mum was horrified! Five years later we got married (no rush!) 17 years later we are still together with a beautiful 5yo DD. He drives me mad most of the time, but I wouldn't be without him...

pan you are such a boy.

Message withdrawn

Yes well, to be honest, I have thought about how soon he declared love to his ex's (I know his last relationship ended badly). But how does one acquire this information without sounding like a scary bunny boiler? I know some people fall in love quicker than others, maybe he is just one of those.

It's just that....ok I admit it I am a total girl and he makes me go completely gooey. If it doesn't last, I'll cope, but I like feeling like this...it makes me feel alive, so I will just enjoy it while it lasts!! He has even started suggesting we start taking my daughter out with us sometimes....but I am not ready to do that just yet, want to protect her as much as possible.

Yes, I do think it's possible. Extremely rare if it's the real thing, though.

Decided to marry DH the day I met him. Worryingly stalkerish or what? Was 23 at the time and had had lots of boyfriends, but always knew they were for laughs rather than for keeps. We've been together for 17 years and we won't split. So I am in the "when you know, you know" camp.

Wisely decided not to tell him that we were going to get married and even let him think it was his very own idea. Bless.

Forgot to say, that although I really want to believe how we feel about each other I am a total cynic. It's nice having people reply with a good mix of opinions.

One final word of caution: things Not to do just because you think it's lurve - lending him money, giving up your home to move into his, having unprotected sex...
Otherwise, have lots of fun with it.

oh yes, absolutely right madamez. i think a lot of us here were able to fall headlong in love because it was pre-kids, tbh. it'd e vastl different now.

MadameZ has a good point. It's all fun until property or an STD is involved!

A friend of mine met a guy in Bali when she stopped off on the way to Aus and he was an Aussie on his way to the UK. They spent 5 days together before he left and fell head over heels in love during this time. Friend spent next 6 months in Aus, travelling round. When she got to Perth, where he's from, his mum called her and asked to meet the girl her son had fallen for. She then came back to UK, where he was waiting for her. Most of her friends told her she was crazy and it wouldn't last, was just a holiday romance (particularly as he was mid twenties and she in her thirties). Eight years later they are married, live in Perth, have a two year old daughter and a son on the way. Yes I believe in love at first sight.

I think love and in love are 2 different things. If teh in love bit develops to be long-lasting you could think you it was love at first sight since that's how you always felt. But it's lust/fancying really. I think.

Well I said that to my friend and she said absolutely not - she loved him. She has totally convinced me that it's real.

I have to be honest and agree with ChristyC that wonderful skippy skippy isnt the world wonderful feeling you get at the beginning of a relationship is caused by lust not love.

At the beginning of a relationship most people are on their best behavour the relationships where "love at first sight" works are the rare ones where both people are behaving totally like themselves even in the honeymoon stage.

On the whole it takes time and it becomes love if you are still going "ahhh isnt he wonderful" even after

You have met his mum - and you dont like her
You have seen him being an arse with his friends
You know that he: farts in bed, never replaces the toilet roll, always eats the last of anything nice in the fridge and doesnt buy you flowers any more.

Whatever it is just enjoy it!!

I've been dating my DP since april see each other everyday at work, and tomorrow we are going to view houses and Flats.
so we know we are made for each other

I think it's possible. Probably happens more than you realise, but it's only the relationship that lasts that proves it, iyswim...

awww rocklover - yes u can fall truly madly deeply in love quickly does not mean that u are a doormat or reckless in love

just communicate openly, frankly accept u will share laughs and tears together, dont get sucked into unrealistic haze but enjoy being in love - i saw if it feels right - plunge in

I think that perhaps the people who reckon 'you just know' struck reasonably lucky the first time they met someone that compatible with them. Plenty of times people feel that 'this is the One', have a good time for a while and then it all goes hobbirly wrong somehow. That's why I always advise enjoy it but be reasonably careful.

lol at the idea that dh was the first person i was compatible with... oops.

I'm not sure that's true Madamez. Friend had a couple of v. serious relationships and some flings before she met the one she fell for at first site.

Some people are compatible with many folks.

i'm just friendly, that's all expat.

Highly possible Rocklover, same thing happened to me around 3 months ago, we are now moving in together (3 DDs and a dog too)

Althought I do agree with several of the more cautionary posts on this thread too.

Madamez-loving your practicality

Albertetc- it's not that I want to piss on anyone's chips, just wary of the belief in Twue Luv as though it's some kind of outside supernatural force. As this is what leads people to put up with abuse or even to perpetrate it - 'But he/she loves me! He/she is The One' therefore it's ok if the beloved gets drunk and kicks you round the kitchen - or it's ok to stalk the beloved if it's Real Love...