Sorry long story so bear with me.
Horrible 3 years; FIL died suddenly left MIL, BIL & DH.
DH extended family behaved inexcusably around funeral towards DH & me; we begged MIL & BIL to support us they did eventually and we don't have any contact with extended family.
DH became v depressed, I grew closer to OM, I'm not proud but trying to set scene for IL's. All came out earlier in year DH & me decided we would stay and work things out.
Relations between MIL & me are icy at best; accepted as how I behaved to her son.
None the less I personally invited her to Xmas as an olive branch, she accepted.
Xmas eve night DH visits MIL I wait at home with DC, not put out milk & biscuits DC wanting family hot chocolate etc.
DH returns home; face covered in blood looking an absolute mess!!! Won't tell me what happened just that he & BIL have fought.
MIL on phone demanding DH returns to her house to sort out as "he cannot leave her like this". DH refuses but also refuses to go to A&E.
Eventually DH speaks to BIL and they agree to bury hatchet??????
DH later admits MIL & BIL had gone on a tirade about me, why he has stayed I'm such a horrible person etc etc. DH defended me and BIL & MIL attacked him.
Xmas day quiet; MIL came for an hour in morning ignoring husbands black closed swollen eye, strangle marks on neck bruised ribs; they have done a real number in him.
DH spends most day on high strength pain killers and sleeping a lot. He tried really hard to be there for main bits but looked in a lot of pain.
This morning DH says he got blurred vision still in immense pain and finally decides to go to A&E. I've stayed at home with DC.
So here's my question, I think we should go NC with IL's following this, don't want them anywhere near DC after their behaviour.
DH will not agree to this, so it will need to be a me or them ultimatum. I don't think we can get past this and stay together if his family are so against us.
AIBU ? Should I accept I am at fault for at least some of this, or am I right that assaulting DH is never acceptable and they are not fit to have access to DC?