pof normal????

[letsmeet]

I've just joined pof as it's free and I'd heard bad things about tinder.
I'm new to dating as I've only been with ex since 21 and now I'm divorced and 32.
made a profile on pof and got a load of messages within hours, some hi hey how are you? which I replied to and had nice conversations with, a few dick pics or sexual stuff right off the bat . Then a lot of people asking for snapchat, I asked why and they all said to make sure we are who we say we are, which again fine by me as there's some very obvious fakes on there.
So every single one of the men who asked to snapchat ask for a pic, I send them one and they send me one( normal nice pic that shows face). they then move on to ask for a sexy pic and some sent me dick pics , I blocked them. I carry on talking to the ones who haven't sent me a dick pic but even they keep steering the conversation to sexual stuff!
Is this normal for online dating? am I just very naive?
and even this morning I've had a few Xmas dick pics to wish me a merry Xmas hence why I'm writing this right now. I thought I was opening snapchat to a nice lovely message and I've got 4 festive dicks instead.

I met my now DH on POF but that was 6 years ago. I did chat to and meet some lovely men but they were far outnumbered by weirdos. You just have to be ruthless and try and make it obvious in your profile what you're there for (or not there for more importantly).

women must be returning the favour then .
I did get asked for WhatsApp too but i have my kids pics on the profile often so I didn't want to add someone then forget to take them off etc..
I only use snapchat to stay in touch with family and friends who are far away I never put pics up etc so that seemed safer to me too.
I do need to be ruthless with the block and delete. when I did get messaged I felt I had to message everyone back so now I know a bit more what to look out for I'll be extra careful to just ignore those ones.
I also think I didn't put enough info in my profile either so I'm going to update that.
When asked was I looking for something serious I've put no in my head that meant because I'm just getting started again and not beacsue I'm up for fun only, but that's obviously giving a wrong message out. I'm obviously far too naive and stupid for this.

I would also say, try to always be messaging more than one person, so that you don't get emotionally involved with anyone right off the bat.

I also wouldn't be put off by someone wanting to meet quite quickly, as long as it's a normal coffee type date. I always preferred to arrange to meet people after a couple of days of messaging, as there's no point investing emotional energy in someone who you have no chemistry in person with. I could never understand people who wanted to email for weeks or months without wanting to meet up. Utterly pointless.

@letsmeet you're not too naive at all, youre just getting started! I would always recommend OLD

Deffo remove the 'nothing serious' bit and check that none of your pictures are 'sultry' sexy types. Just lovely smiles, nothing that belies your inner vixen

They're sending them because they want to meet someone who won't kick up a fuss about things like dick pics.

Erm, okay.

I have to say the festive ones had tinsel and baubles round them so at least they made the effort to jazz them up a bit

Tinder is MUCH better than pof because you can only get messages from men you swipe on. There is honestly zero difference in 'quality' or intent between the men on tinder or on any other free dating site.

I rarely get the dickheads because I only use tinder and I am discerning about who I swipe on. Any dodgy messages and I delete them. Never snapchat anyone! I do Whatsapp but only when I've sent a few messages and I'm fairly sure they are genuine.

looking back the nothing serious bit would imply I'm up for fun only!
I just didn't want to put serious as I just got out of a bad marriage and so I don't want to meet a future husband also I don't want a f*k buddy either, somwhere in between and i don't want to lead anyone on as I'm very cautious right now and want to keep my options open but obviously I need to put serious so the dick pic senders know not to message me.

I don't know about anyone else, but I think we've reached 'peak' OLD and it's just becoming pointless now.

There are plenty of women who also write "will fill this in later.." I guess for some they know they will get inundated with messages from men from their pics alone and so don't feel the need to put lots of effort in.

For men as well, the idiots have spoilt it for everyone else, and so even well presented profiles with decent bios are no longer a guarantee you will even get noticed as a man. How crushing to put up what you think are your best pics and agonise over the perfect bio only to get zero right swipes or responses. I think for women too now, OLD is becoming a primarily visual medium, and why bother swiping right on this average looking guy, when there's 100 other men who at least have looks going for them.

I'm also thinking that use of OLD is now making it harder to meet in real life. Most single people will now head to the apps because they present a steady stream of available people who you know are looking to meet other available people. Why risk getting to know anyone outside of that who you can risk building the hopes for in your head who may then have to go on to turn you down because they have a partner you didn't know about when you first started talking.

OLD was designed to bring us closer together, but I can only think the opposite is true these days...

Ohhh @letsmeet OP you NEED to put about serious unless you just want to have sex buddies. Which is absolutely fine if you want that but otherwise you will have a dick catalogue soon

Try bumble it's much better!

Yuk there is no way I'd go on a dating site as an unsolicited dick pic would send me into a terminal rage.
I prefer to meet people through friends or social groups.

madcat I would love to however I have my own business from home which is quite isolating but requires long hours and then my DC so I don't have much time to socialise. plus I thought I'd get to talk to more people on OLD in a shorter space of time.
hopehopity have changed it now, Its so obvious now but when I ticked it I just thought well I don't want to get too serious or lead someone on but I was being daft.

Like others have said Tinder isn’t so bad. You can only approach those who have have mutually liked you.

POF was awful for ‘hi beautiful’ ‘lovely smile’ type messages from random men. And I soon found out if you add someone on Snapchat it won’t be long before you get a dick pic.

@letsmeet of course, unfortunately you have to apply so many filters to clear the nasty ones
You can explain what you want better to a more decent match

@Fonduefrolics and Hi Princess
Luckily it makes it easier to spot those.

4 festive dicks .....and @HopeHopitys catalogue of dicks

OLD is a learning process, OP. You'll soon get savvy to the weirdos and chancers

Check your profile to make absolutely sure there is nothing on there that could give even the slightest hint that you are up for sex. I once said I was looking for a fun relationship - this was apparently code for I want to shag lots 😂😂. If not then keep ignoring. Also I like tinder - generally the same men and there is just less faff

I used to work with a woman who used pof. She told me so many tales of the characters on there. I would stay well clear!

I haven't had a single dick pic in my history of online dating, and am definitely in the attractive category. My profile is super strict about what I don't want, which helps weed out most of the numpties. It will be very apparent to them that I won't engage in that kind of nonsense, so they don't bother. Maybe revisit your profile? And don't bother replying to the 'hey there' messages. An intelligent, genuine guy wouldn't tend to be so uninspired in his opening. Good luck!

Pretty much every single one said hey there to start with .
I think it's just pof and the fact that I've obviously lived a sheltered life, I didn't think people just did stuff like that. Nudes pics to strangers without even knowing names. one guy offered to drive up to me after I said hi back! He said he was only 20 mins away and to give him my address .
I've not logged back onto pof since this morning and don't really intend to for a few days but I will make sure my profile is clear abiut what I want. I think I may as well give Tinder a go, can't do any worse than what I did on pof after all.

Seriously POF is the worst. Idiots trawl the new members lists sending the same messages to every single woman.

Just go for the normal guys with decent jobs. Stay clear of the eye candy. They are usually the players.

As with all online dating you meet some idiots and some not. Met my husband on there 6 years ago but met and spoke to plenty a plonker before him!

I found the free sites were all full of nob heads.

I met my now husband On match. I had to pay to join but....we’ll youve seen what’s free.