Leaving my DH Boxing Day

[newuser12]

Just that really 9 years of being together I cannot take it no more please tell me being single is easier

The important thing is to get away from danger, who has the house is not important here, this is an abusive relationship so different rules apply.

THIS. A house is replaceable. Please get that advice from women's aid before you do anything - leaving him is the most dangerous time for you, and don't underestimate the possible threat to your life.

Stay safe, that's the thing that matters.

YOu need as much help as possible and you need to be telling as many people as possible! If hes controlling when he "has you" he will be 100% worse once "hes lost you"!! thats a fact.
Personally i would involve a solicitor, police, health visitor etc etc. He needs to know its not just you against him as he will feel as if hes still able to be in control. You can get a restraining order and a occupancy order, i think its called. This will stop him coming into the house. Look it up. I was recommended to get both, i didn't and tbh i regretted it. I was so co hursed and under the thumb i didn't really see how he was treating me was abusive, but my solicitor did. Once these things are in place there will be huge consequences if he comes near you. Then tell your neighbours and give them your phone number and take theirs. Ask them to call the police if they see him. You need all these things in place first. Good luck

Agree with @FenellasRedVelvetDress
He should go. You can get a court order that does not allow him to just turn up or come within range of your property.
Go & See the police or ask them to come to you. women's aid, talk to a solicitor asap.

Just re read my 02.39 post........and I agree with other posters- my advice was spot on till the rolling pin.

I suppose I’m lucky, naive....I’ve never been in a relationship where I was the victim of DV. It never occurred to me that he would end up wrestling it out of the woman’s hand and bashing her ( into unconsciousness, to death??) with it.

Thanks for not flaming me. This is when mumsnet works at its best. Instead of slagging me off it was explained sensibly and I have learned something.

I do think you should keep your home, it’s security and continuity for the children. But like other posters say, if it’s too dangerous then it’s just bricks and mortar. You have to put your safety first.
Police and women’s aid seem the best bet.
Stay strong. We are all behind you sending positivity and strength. You can do this. You are woman.

Thinking of you OP. Leaving an abusive relationship is hard, and many people make many attempts to do so before they are actually successful. Only you know when the time is right for you, and all the other circumstances around it.

You need to be ready, informed, and supported. I hope you've atleast managed to call women's aid?

No judgement here. Just support when you need it. Please remember we are all here if you need us.