how does your DP/DH react if you say no to sex?

[unequivocallyxo]

Just that really. Not rudely, just gently. I am curious to know if my DP is acting unreasonably or if I am overreacting.

Disappointed, as we do it most nights unless I'm not feeling very well or am too tired. We both have high sex drives. He usually initiates and has never refused me.
But he never pushes it and we'll just cuddle instead.

My last long term ex would tantrum, sulk, cause massive problems. In the end I’d syche myself up until I could just about bear it, pretend he was someone else and get on with it to avoid arguments.
My first ever bf would just laugh and say ok and we'd do it another time. Totally healthy.
My present self hasn’t had sexual for a year. 7 years of pressure into shit sex anyway has meant I’m just not interested any more. Hopefully that won’t be forever but for now it’s fine

That’s not ok.

If he’s generally a decent guy in every other way then you need a proper sit down conversation about the fact that he is not entitled to sex with you whenever he wants it and that sulking is just making you even less likely to want it any time soon.

If he doesn’t immediately get it and realise what a prick he’s been then I’d seriously reconsider your relationship, or you’ll spend the rest of your life being coerced into sex you don’t want to avoid his childish strops. He needs to grow the fuck up asap.

He asks if I’m alright/ need anything (usually meaning painkillers/ a drink...etc) and I give a little explanation of why I’m not in the mood (poorly/ just not feeling it...etc)

He snuggles and says ‘ok no problem’ usually followed by a quiet but hopeful ‘maybe tomorrow?’

😂❤️😍

My ex persisted, moaned, sulked and sometimes got up and went home.

That’s why he’s an ex.

Although he's tactile at times, when we're in bed he will only cuddle me to try it on, and if for whatever reason I don't feel like it will promptly move away from me and turn over without a word.

LTB!

He's totally fine.

Tbh he never really 'asks', like a pp we just sort of pick up on each others mood. I don't ask him either but we still have plenty of sex.

On the rare occasion he does ask and I say no he might say 'aw go on', but it will be once, not in an unpleasant manner, and if the answer is still no he leaves it that.

Because while he is occasionally a dickhead (as we all are), he is not that sort of dickhead.

He doesnt pressure me. He also checks in with me that im still ok during sex if he thinks im not enthusiastic, in case we need to stop

All these good men out there, it’s reassuring.

My dh has been a sulker for years and it’s put me right off. I now don’t like cuddling him in bed in case he tries it on and I’m not in the mood. All to avoid saying no. How bad is that.

A man who pressurises and sulks is the BIGGEST turn off ever!

Rolls over and has a disappointed sigh.

He says ok, gives me a kiss and a cuddle and goes to sleep. If it’s in the morning he says ok, gets up and makes me coffee.

He gives me a cuddle and then we either go to sleep or put the telly on. Same as if he says he’s not in the mood.

It’s worrying that yours goes in a mood. Is he like this in other areas of your relationship?

That's no OK OP.