OK, have namechanged, but believe me, I've been here forever.
I have been going out with my current boyfriend for over a year. I have noticed that when we go to parties or round to someone else's house, he never (or very rarely) brings a bottle. And it really bugs me.
I would usually bring a bottle of spirits (because that's what I like) to a party and I think that you should bring a bit more than you think you might drink - the excess is your contribution to the party/spoils for host. But I have stopped bringing a full sized bottle because it feels like he assumes that is "our" contribution. In the past when I have hinted at it, he has insisted that it's fine to just drink "the party booze" which he thinks is the alcohol that the host provides which is for everyone. Or he just waits till someone offers him something - like they are pouring their own wine and say "do you want a top up?" or "can I grab you a beer?" and then just says "yes please". I don't mind so much when he does it at his friends' parties but I find myself getting wound up when he does it at events where he is there as my guest/with my friends.
Yesterday we went to a friend of mine's for a christmas party. It was one of those where everyone brings a pre-agreed dish to share and I was happy to do the cooking and planning for our/my share of the food, because this was my friends and he was my plus-one. I wasn't planning to drink much, so I bought one of those one-serving bottles of wine to have a glass with my meal and a bottle of soft drinks. When I met him at the station, we were passing a mini-mart and I saud "Do you need to pick anything up before the party?". He replied "No, I'm not planning on drinking today". I thought (but didn't say) "Well, you are plannig on drinking SOMETHING even if it's a soft drink. Maybe you should bring that" but didn't.
Over the course of the meal/party, he accepted various beers, wine, prosecco, etc, from people (many of who he was meeting for the first time, and all of whom are my friends not his) and I got quietly annoyed.When we got home I asked him why he didn't bring alcohol to parties, and he looked panicky and said that he had meant to bring a bottle of prosecco from home but everything had been a bit last minute and he'd forgotten it. He apologised and even brought it up again later in the evening, repeating the I-meant-tot-but-forgot line,
But that's a lie, right? Because he never brings bottles to parties and he had ample opportunity to buy something on the way. I don;t get it - in a pub he buys rounds and things. What can I do about this and am I wrong that it makes me so uncomfortable? Should I just accept that I am the one who brings booze to parties and make sure I bring enough for both of us?