I posted here nearly 3 years ago asking if my relationship was abuse. You all wonderful ladies gave me such good advice and were so kind to me. But I stayed.
So now I ask, how did you work up the courage to leave? To leave your lifestyle you’ve built, to admit to everyone the relationship you try to portray as perfect is horrific, to separate your children from their father? To break the financial ties when he is the higher earner and you both have debt?
Of course things have gotten worse, they always do. I feel like a walking stereotype. Last time I posted about the constant insults, the angry shouting and him throwing a knife at the door because I forgot something from the shop. Now I don’t have 1 child, I have 2 and I’m also heavily pregnant.
During this time the shouting is the same, he hasn’t got help for his behaviour, he snaps at me for the smallest things, he picked up an entire mattress and threw it at me because I was ‘late’ to set off for our holiday even though we still had plenty of time. He’s thrown me off the bed before because I was winding him up.
And now yesterday a prime example of my life. Our kids were up early and it was my turn to give him a sleep in but I was too tired and wouldn’t get out of bed. He went downstairs filled up the kettle and poured cold water all over me and the bed. It was awful. Then still tired from being pregnant and two young kids, later on I fell asleep on the sofa so he called me a lazy fat arse or something like he always does. I spent half the day crying and having to put on my fake mask of happiness carting the kids round to classes/parties etc.
He’s a lot older than me as well, I’ve been with him since I was 18 and I’m heavily dependent on him. He pays all the rent and bills, I live in his home town, I can’t drive, we have CC debt, I rely on his mother for childcare to work.
Do I stay with him until I pay off my debt? Ask him to leave now? Or give up my job, life, friends, my children’s schools etc and run away pregnant and try to start again? Please if you’ve got this far thank you