My husband won’t attend the mediation session I booked but he wont book one either- how do I move this forward

[sarvin]

My husband wants a divorce- we’ve been married 2 years, he had no family and I am a mother of 3( only 1 at home) he wants his house back he said. I poured 100k into his home improvements . I work part time. I accept he wants us gone he will not attend marriage guidance and all I said was return my money and we’ll go and you’ll never have to see us again. Trouble is he is stalling on everything. He has a lawyer I am representing myself. I booked mediation, he at the 11th hour rang her up and said he will not attend, he wants to choose a mediator himself. He thus far hasn’t made any appt. despite me emailing him ( he never ever replies) and his solicitor ( he very rarely replies) any advice would be welcome as I’m on my knees living in a bed and breakfast with my son while he lives opposite in the marital home currently up for sale for £700k

You can’t force him to mediation. How to move forward? By accepting that if you want your money back that he isn’t going to give it to you willingly and you are going to need legal advice to move forward. Please tell me that you didn’t just hand over the money without safeguards.

He is presumably playing for time. Two reasons for this. First, if he waits until the house sells he will then be able to give you a cash settlement without having to remortgage. The second reason is that you will become increasingly desperate to settle because you moved into temporary accommodation with a child. He, as you have pointed out, is sitting pretty in a big house. I take no pleasure in saying that you put yourself at a disadvantage by moving out. Sorry but that is why you would have been advised to stay unless you were in danger.

If you can move back in. Whilst you are married it is your home too. See a solicitor and get some advice. Otherwise move into more permanent accommodation which will be cheaper and nicer. This isn’t going to be quick. He won’t give you cash until the house is sold. You are looking at months.

Why did you move out of the marital home? One option is to move back in.

Can you prove your investment in the house? If he's going to muck about you might have to bite the bullet and get a lawyer yourself, money to come out the settlement?

He booked a holiday for half term for the three of us then the day before he said he couldn’t come due to work. While we were away he changed the locks. My solicitor told me to stop causing a scene essentially and go to a Bnb. That’s why I’m not using her any more. He has his sisters name on the mortgage and he always refused to put mine on instead of hers saying it was a logistical nightmare. I have bank transfers going from my bank straight to his at 10k a time for ten consecutive days. Is that enough proof?

I’m going to get a mortgage to move into my new house so essentially I can take my time and wait to get my day in court?
I was wondering if I can just request a court date without mediation as I was always told you have to complete mediation first?

He changed the locks whilst me and my son were away at half term. My solicitor told me thete is no chance of me getting back in there now. I’ve sacked he she was so wet

I literally can not afford legal advice- I had a solicitor for a month , it cost me 2k and she list me everything- she’s so wet. I just want to get in front of a judge and lay down my case
I have all the evidence all perfectly documented- can I just book
A court date?

You cannot afford to not have legal advice. You need a shit hot lawyer.

You also need to be living in the marital home. I assume your driving licence and what have you is registered there? Just call a locksmith and get back in, replace the locks when you do and give him a set (nice and fair like). It will cost less than a week at the b&b.

Once you’ve done that I imagine he’ll speed things up a bit.

What Gemmefetale said. You are his wife. You're probably entitled to a fair chunk of the house. Don't let him con you out of it.

Do you know who owns the house?

No advice but oh my god what a class A asshole . for you op x

Go and get the locks changed again, obviously give him a new key
He can’t actually do that you do realise
Fuck this shit. Play hardball

I’m
Far too scared of him
To change the locks I couldn’t possibly. That night we returned from the airport and were locked out. The police attempted and told me that if my name isn’t on the mortgage then I should move along.
The next day I got a letter from his solicitor saying he was scared for his life and could hear prowlers walking round his property
I was told to not go near the house any more

He owns the property and his sisters name is also on the mortgage

Police totally unwilling to help me- in fact they looked at my car said well you have a brand new car so you must have money just move into a hotel. We’ve been in a bmb for three months now- only satisfying thing is the bmb is opposite his house. And I walk my dogs every day stopping to talk to everyone when they enquire as to why I’m living in the Bnb
It’s such a cut and dry case I really feel I just want to get in front of a judge

Anyone know
How to get a form E

Once I have one filled in and I invite him to do the same I guess I can apply to court

Has your solicitor registered your name on the deeds for the house under the marriage rights? Your husband then can't sell the house without your consent. Get another solicitor who specialises in family law & get an emergency hearing in the family courts, the judge can after hearing from both of you decide who is allowed to live in the house, you should have a good chance of either getting back in your home or your husband being forced to help finance towards somewhere new for you. Either ask around or ring a few solicitors, you are entitled to a free half hour appointment, use this to find someone who you feel will fight the best case for you, even if you have to have a free half hour at more than one, don't sign up with anyone until you are sure that they will do the best job for you.

You can represent yourself in court, but if you can manage to just get some advice first, have you any proof of abuse or violence? That would mean you may qualify for legal aid, or if the solicitor thinks you have a solid case they may let you pay when you get a settlement.

You really need good legal advice. If you can’t afford that contact rights for women. Google them they provide free legal advice for women.

and for God’s sakes never ever give a bloke money again without a proper legal contract. He’s duped and stolen from you.

You MUST get a solicitor. You cannot represent yourself.

You need legal counsel. This is the most important you do, more than anything else, for you and your children. You must get a solicitor TODAY.

No one is entitled to a free half an hour will a solicitor. Some solicitor may choose to offer it.

Op I hope you get this sorted

You cannot register interest as he owns the property with his sister

I have the cash from the sale of my house in my savings account- a new home on a persimmon is being built- ready June. Because I have this cash I am not entitled to legal aid or benefits and my wage as a part time yoga teacher is around 8-9k pa
When I say I can’t afgird legal advice I mean it

Is it really the best economic decision to be in a b&b in the interim?