My husband won’t attend the mediation session I booked but he wont book one either- how do I move this forward

[sarvin]

My husband wants a divorce- we’ve been married 2 years, he had no family and I am a mother of 3( only 1 at home) he wants his house back he said. I poured 100k into his home improvements . I work part time. I accept he wants us gone he will not attend marriage guidance and all I said was return my money and we’ll go and you’ll never have to see us again. Trouble is he is stalling on everything. He has a lawyer I am representing myself. I booked mediation, he at the 11th hour rang her up and said he will not attend, he wants to choose a mediator himself. He thus far hasn’t made any appt. despite me emailing him ( he never ever replies) and his solicitor ( he very rarely replies) any advice would be welcome as I’m on my knees living in a bed and breakfast with my son while he lives opposite in the marital home currently up for sale for £700k

Preferential rate as I know them, cheaper than any rented house anywhere in york

Im confused.

If you have already got your half of the sale of the house (and assuming there are no other joint assets), what are you waiting for?

I presume she sold up her own house to live with this guy, while he kept his own and she paid for home improvements there.

Have you claimed tax credits & child benefit? It depends if your area has gone over to universal credit, if it hasn't you may be due to some tax credits. Also put in a claim to the child maintenance service to get some maintenance for your son from your ex.

Have you got a local university near you? It might be worth contacting them to see if there are any final year law students who may be able to advise you for free as part of their course. I know your ex owns the house with his sister, but you need to know if you can register your interest under marriage rights on his share of the property to stop him disposing of assets.

Exactly I sold my home- he wanted me to transfer all the money to him . On top of the remortgage money when I refused he threw us out

It’s universal credit and while I have my house money in my account I am not entitled to any universal ctedit

Well, you could afford legal representation, you're choosing not to spend the savings or pay out of the end settlement. And to continue working part-time rather than full-time. Which may all be solid choices, but it's not the case that you simply can't afford it.

If you have the money sitting there you can afford a solicitor.

Especially as having good legal advice means you are much more likely to get a quick and fair legal settlement.

He’s stolen my money and he’s stolen the lifestyle my children once had, I will not spend thousands and thousands of wasted money on litigation ( he knows his solicitor so he won’t be charged) to financially abuse me. I work for York uni I have access to the legal dept the only thing that’s keeping his letters at bay is the fact it’s cisting no one but him. I truly believe the case it a clear cut one of theft. As soon as I refused to transfer the remaining balance into his account he threw us out, I’m confident

Plus if I plough through my merge savings I will no longer be able to afford the home I have committed to( which in its self is significantly smaller than my original home when I met him) I’d be lucky if I could afford a flat through no fault but my own greed. This way I go into court I state the facts and I maximise my outcome without it costing upwards of 20k and maybe ending up somewhere much worse. My solicitor was TERRIBLE- she was more scared of his lawyer than I was

You need to use the money for solicitors fees. If you miss out on this house in June so be it because long term you should be entitled to half of the martial equity, although I’m not sure how it all works with the £100k you’ve invested. Then you can buy a new bigger home or have savings in the bank when it’s done.

I had a similar situation with my ex 16 years ago and I wish to god I had fought for everything. I was so beaten down and fed up with it all I let him walk all over me. He now lives in a $2m house in the USA, has retired at age 44 and I am stuck in a damp ridden house I can barely afford having managed on tax credits and low income jobs since then. When we split up I should have pursued half the value of the home and all the savings I had put in (££££). I was a fool. Don’t be a fool.

You need to get the mediator to confirm in writing he didn’t attend the mediation session, then file Form A with the Court to start off the financial side of things. However you can’t do that unless the divorce petition has been issued. Has that been done?

You can download the forms from the government website or get them from your local Court office.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-e-financial-statement-for-a-financial-order-matrimonial-causes-act-1973-civil-partnership-act-2004-for-financial-relief-after-an-overseas

if you have an expensive car you could downsize, also if your DC are older (as only 1 at home) could you work full time to keep you going?

what is more important?