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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

No contact for 5 months then....what does this text message mean?

59 replies

Welshcakes0 · 12/12/2018 12:30

I was with him for 8 months. It ended as I found him chatting on his WhatsApp to another woman. His response was 'he gets lonely and things haven't been great with us'. Anyway as from that day onwards I cut all contact, it was over. I have to admit I found it so so difficult to get over and right up until today have thought about him every day, but its getting less. Time is a healer! Part of me wanted him to text or acknowledge he had done something that had hurt me and apologise but he never did. I accepted that and slowly but surely moved on. This morning I get a message saying ' Facebook took me through some memories and there are some lovely pics of us on there, anyway hope you are ok and Happy Christmas '
It's completely knocked me and I feel like it's all come back, the feelings of missing him, the hurt, everything :(

OP posts:
Koko12 · 12/12/2018 12:33

Ignore!Don’t get sucked back in.

Porridgeprincess · 12/12/2018 12:33

This happened me too many times, it is a head wreck!

It means he probably has no other women on the horizon at the moment so is checking to see if you are about. I would ignore it completely, if you can!

Kittenrush · 12/12/2018 12:33

No no no no no no. Don’t give in. It’s Christmas and he’s lonely. If things weren’t going great after only 8 months it doesn’t bode well for another relationship. Think how difficult it was getting over him the first time. Don’t make yourself go through all that again!

Justmuddlingalong · 12/12/2018 12:35

Ignore. He's trying to suck you back in. Don't fall for it.

category12 · 12/12/2018 12:35

8 months and he reckoned he was lonely and things weren't great between you?! Wow.

You did right to dump him, don't get suckered now.

hellsbellsmelons · 12/12/2018 12:36

How did the message get through?
Why wasn't he blocked?
He moved on but is getting bored again.
You are one of those women he was messaging when he was with you.
Yeuk!
Don't read anything into it.
Other than, you certainly made the right decision.
Now block!

halfwitpicker · 12/12/2018 12:37

He wants sex

Beamur · 12/12/2018 12:40

Ignore him. No good will come from responding.

Original poster
Welshcakes0 · 12/12/2018 12:40

Thanks everyone. However I did respond (should have mentioned that) and just said I'm good thanks, hope you are too and wished him a Happy Christmas too. I didn't say anymore and he hasn't text again. I just haven't been able to get it out of my mind so wanted to post here to see what everyone thought. Mumsnet helped me lots. I still hurt some days but not like at the beginning. Every day he pops into my head but I know one day there will be a time when I think oh I didn't think of him in a while. Can't wait for that day. Today I feel all the hurt coming back.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 12/12/2018 12:42

Ok. So you've already replied...now block him.

Notcoolmum · 12/12/2018 12:45

Ah. Selfish of him to get in touch. Shame you replied. Now block and delete.

RyderWhiteSwan · 12/12/2018 12:46

Ok so you replied in an adult manner. Please don't get sucked back in as a Christmas stocking filler! he may have been testing the waters for a bunk up. As you replied civilly, he may contact you again. Keep replies (if any) as cool as you can. Don't let him back in. You know what will happen again.

NonaGrey · 12/12/2018 12:46

He’s lonely and “things aren’t that great” with his current woman.

Ignore.

sue51 · 12/12/2018 12:47

Block him now. You were doing so well don't let him back in your head.

TellItLikeItReallyIs · 12/12/2018 12:52

Facebook took me through some memories and there are some lovely pics of us on there, anyway hope you are ok and Happy Christmas

I'll tell you exactly what it means. It means:

I was bored and horney and suddenly thought of you. I was idly wondering whether there is a chance that your anger towards me has calmed and your hurt has faded to the point where I could tap you up for a no strings attached fck. Are you going to reply to me so communication is open and I can get my cock inside you?*

TellItLikeItReallyIs · 12/12/2018 12:53

Replying to this was a mistake.

Trinity66 · 12/12/2018 12:54

He’s lonely and “things aren’t that great” with his current woman.

Ignore.

.

Jackshouse · 12/12/2018 12:56

It means he fancies a shag. Just block him. He is not good enough for you.

HellonHeels · 12/12/2018 12:58

Eurgh. Block him!

Original poster
Welshcakes0 · 12/12/2018 13:02

I wanted it to mean something different but I knew deep down what it meant. I wanted him to miss me too. It makes me feel sad!
He's not even sorry. Just thought it was an odd random text message.

OP posts:
TellItLikeItReallyIs · 12/12/2018 13:06

Something else to bear in mind whenever you get a message like this is to think to yourself.

"Is it possible that this is a general message that is sent to a whole bunch of women in one go?"

Lots of men do this. Send to all their most recent exes "How have you been? I've been thinking of you." at the same time to see who bites.

Unless the message is very specific to you , beware of this.

I'm afraid your message is so generic it could cover years worths of gfs he has pictures of on FB.

category12 · 12/12/2018 13:10

He was after another woman within 8 months of you being together. The first couple of years should be the honeymoon period where you're showing each other your best selves. His best self was cheating and blaming you. You dodged a bullet. You really need to give your head a wobble.

RivanQueen · 12/12/2018 13:14

OP welcome to 'Cuffing Season'. Google it then block this dick, don't let him suck you back in it will only end in tears (your tears). He was horrid to you, you managed to get rid of him, you're getting your life back on track and you don't need to waste any more of your life on this waster.

Original poster
Welshcakes0 · 12/12/2018 13:15

Yes, very true. The first thing I thought was, he is lonely but now I'm thinking, I wonder who the poor woman is he's bored with now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Welshcakes0 · 12/12/2018 13:17

Just Googled it and yes, it was my first thought. It's Christmas and he is single again.

OP posts: