hubby belittling constantly

[Lavinia13]

hi there, I need to admit first and foremost that I AM feeling sorry for myself and have been crying for the last 1 hour so please please do forgive if i'm just being stupid and boring.
I need to ask you something: I am a doctor and my husband is a consultant in the NHS. i left NHS some years back in order to join industry. I did so as I was a bit disillusioned with health-care and also i wanted a change. I have 2 adolescent children and they are brilliant. At the moment i'm ok successful and trying my best to progress. I am earning 120k a year, do 99% housework, when I go away on work trip I cook for all the days and keep separate containers of my hubby's lunch in the fridge. But very regularly and whenever he gets a chance hubby really belittles me and derogates me in front of my children and whenever possible in front of my in-laws saying I am a failed professional and useless and that my job is worth nothing. When my mother-in-law got diagnosed with cancer it was me who took her to doctors, tests etc. I have always looked after my in-laws. It really really hurts. He anyway takes me for granted and shouts whenever something doesn't work out at home, if there are no clean clothes etc. He refuses to any housework himself saying he didn't grow up to be a doctor to be doing effing housework. at the moment I am NOT getting anything but abuse from him and crying myself to sleep every night. I have thought of leaving but that's difficult as my children don't want it and pleads with me to stay on. I can't just carry on like this any more. I have NO friends.....he calls me a "miserable git"...and refuses to socialise so I have had to lie when friends invite and call and excuse myself from attending. so I have none left. my only hope is online friends maybe. WHAT CAN I DO ?? please please help....I am stuck and the unfairness and cruelty is driving me insane. I do not want to give up and do what's right for my children: maybe carry on like this till they are more grown and in university. I want to be strong and be successful and be a good human being and do my duties. BUT WHAT CAN I DO TO DEAL WITH HIS UNFAIRNESS ??? PLEASE HELP ...IT'S URGENT

Abuse is an assault on your emotions, an assault on your narrative and your injuries. It is not an assault on your intelligence.

OP, i got away from this bullshit when i had tiny kids and no job. You can save your life. Xx

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I have thought of leaving but that's difficult as my children don't want it and pleads with me to stay on.

Are your children scared of him too? What have they said to you about him? How does he treat them?

How did your in laws react when he threw stuff at dinner?

I was in a relationship where I was belittled a lot. One day I sat down with him and told him it was clear he didn't love me because of the way he treated me. He agreed. We split up. Do you think your husband is feeling the same way but too cowardly to say it? That he's trying to drive you away? How do you think he'd react if you said something similar to him?

Your children will be picking up and learning from his behaviour, you need to set them a good example of how relationships should work and leave.

Hi op
You say you don't want to hurt your children staying with someone who shows you no respect will hurt them in the long run sometimes a little bit of pain now is far better as you don't want your children thinking it is ok to treat people the way he treats you.

Your children are not stupid they will be aware of how he treats you and if they don't they will soon. How would you feel if they treated/were treated by a partner the way you are. Do not let them think this is normal.