OLD triangle

[ru345]

After several flop relationships with mainly players over 3 years I was about to give up OLD. Then as I was leaving the site to join another new OLD site guy who had been chasing me for several months contacted me again and I agreed to meet him!

However joined new OLD site and this man asked to meet me out next day and we had 3 dates in one week! Totally swept me off my feet with wining and dining and took me away also on 3rd date as special occasion also. The sex is amazing and we seem to click! But I am getting the feeling he is just after fun as not long come out of OLD relationship and he loved her think he still does? He wants to take things slowly just enjoy us and have fun...

Anyway the other guy is lovely and wants a serious relationship (which I do too) and I could easily grow to love him as he is lovely to me and the fact we accepts me more as a package as I have a son with autism. I have met him 4 times in total for dates out.

I didn’t mean for this too happen! I have always been the one who was cheated on so feel bad and want to choose one of these men who are lovely each in different ways my heart say Mr Fun and my head says Mr Serious. Help me please I need to choose by Xmas as don’t want this love triangle and want to be with one ....or risk losing both but which one?

You’ve said there is no spark so the best thing to do is be honest with Mr Serious. Let him be free to find someone else.

I think your behaviour is atrocious, OP, and I'm generally a laissez-faire kind of person.

You say you're concerned, but actually you come across as glib. You say you don't want to hurt someone, but it's really about you being hurt. Stop pretending - to yourself and others. It makes things a lot simpler and a lot less painful.

@Chee Mr S is perfect hence seeing him next weekend...don’t want to let him go...he is a keeper
Still having Mr Fun in my life....it’s sex only he is playing me as much I him...it won’t last
I was never like this before OLD experiences ruined my morals took my faith and chewed it up and spat it out...

Are you doing amateur dramatics at uni.

So basically you are dating multiple people, without telling them. Using some for sex and stringing the others along to massage your ego. Op you seem to be like the people you complain about on OLD.

Learnt behaviour from having to survive on OLD wasn’t ever like it before made me harden to the reality of how I was treated... I expect lying cheating behaviours as that’s all I got so easier to join them as can’t beat this system.

Op, you are who you are.

Read this - en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let%27s_Go_to_Golgotha!

Just lost from OLD experiences don’t know what to believe who to trust anymore who is good who isn’t my experiences have not been good hence yes feel guilt over Mr S but still don’t trust anyone not after all the letdowns ...it feels like OLD is the start of the end of any relationships with substance, love and trust

..it’s sex only he is playing me as much I him...

You canny play a player. He'll end up hurting you. I'd get rid before you catch (more) feelings.

Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez Version, on hearing her French ex was a player, apparently wrote on SM 'i hear you're s player, meet the coach' (or something to that effect) and look how that turned out for her.

Versini not version lol

I agree with you 100% @merville

I am going to have lots of fun with more toys again one night this week with Mr Fun. I have sadly caught some of those emotions for Mr Fun but trying to stay grounded and remind myself. Hence being romantically wined and dined by Mr Serious on this weekend coming.

I hope this does not end up with a new thread ‘he played me’ here...it would serve me right you have warned me! I know I will end up with neither in the end.

I can only view OLD now as a cat and mouse game...nothing else as been hurt and used myself time after time...

Update had a wonderful date with Mr Fun last night-morning. I deleted my OLD app infront of him to show I wasn’t looking for anyone else but he did not reciprocate and delete his so that tells me it is fun!

So got date with Mr S on weekend but not feeling it with him anymore but want to stay friends. I will break it to him on weekend...any advice what to say?

I can see me back on OLD come 2019 😔

Why did you delete app in front of Mr fun? How did the conversation come up?
Were you testing him?
Why do you keep meeting the other guy even though you clearly don't want him?
Just let him know how you feel now, why wait until the weekend?
Sounds like you just want to be wanted and are keeping him on back burner so you have someone who boosts your ego.

What the f* is OLD?

I've been Mr S before, please end it with him by text so that he can find someone else and not waste a further date with you. There's no point in you going on this date now if you have no feelings for him and it would be better for him if you just let him go rather than go on another pointless date. Think of him, he's most probably looking forward to it. If you do want to do it face to face which is probably the best thing to do then do it quickly and keep it to a coffee date.

Where's your empathy here?

The excuse for the lack of empathy is apparently OLD, whatever that is.

And, yes, I agree with you richdeniro.
Oh, and OP:
‚Triangle’ may sound chic and has precedent in literature, but as the guys don‘t even know of one another (let alone know one another) this ain‘t one. This is just run of the mill shitty behaviour.
The intrigue about triangles is that, say, the woman is so fascinating that the guys put up with the rival.

Considering you haven‘t told them, it very much looks like you are very aware that this level of admiration from those guys won‘t be in the cards for you.

I'm obviously completely old fashioned and out of touch... but I don't like this American nonsense of "dating" multiple people at once. It is just unseemly! Treat people as you would like to be treated. Yes, there will be some asshats, but surely you're more likely to find the genuine, lovely ones?

A FB/fwb is absolutely fine, provided youre both on board with it just being sex.
I feel sorry for Mr S, and I feel sorry for you- you don't sound as if you feel you deserve happiness and love, but you do!

I am multi dating although it’s an odd concept to me but I don’t understand this thread at all.

Why did you delete your OLD profile in front of mr sex when you have already said it’s just sex? And it was totally disingenuous when you have dates lined up with poor old Mr Serious already.

Let Mr Serious go, or at least tell him you are enjoying sex toys with another man.

Have fun with Mr Sex although if you are trying to get him to commit to you I’m not sure it is going to be much fun for you.

Just because it's 'OLD' it doesn't mean anything, it is still another human being who feels emotions like the rest of us.

If you're thinking of OLD as a reason to dehumanise people then you're already in it for the wrong reasons. Have a read through the OLD thread on here so you can see that these are normal people with feelings.

Had to listen to my heart and Mr Serious text him I am not ready for relationship. Did feel bad but didn’t want to waste anymore of his time he was lovely just not right person for me.

Mr Fun well it’s fun but I think that won’t last either.

Just glad Mr Serious knows now.

What did Mr serious say?
Well done for telling him. It's good that you've done it. Merry crimbo!