Why does he stalk all my stories but never text?

[Lallame]

Hi all, regular poster here but I have NCed as I am ashamed of starting such a silly thread.

So I matched with a guy a couple of weeks ago on Happn, we chatted a bit and he invited me out very last minute on a week night. I had to decline as I already had plans, he said "next time" and I replied "next time indeed!". It turned out we live within 300 mt from each other and work within 100 mt from each other, so we have essentially been leading "parallel lives".

Then I texted him a couple of days later and we chatted a bit. He was the one ending the conversation. I hoped he was going to reach out again and possibly ask me out again, but he has disappeared ever since. This was over 10 days ago now.

Nothing weird about this scenario, I am all too familiar with OLD flakiness. All good.

The weird bit is that this man keeps checking every single story I post on Whatsapp. Usually within 30 mins max. Every single one of them, without fail.

Surely if he was so uninterested to never to contact me again, he should not be interested in my stories??

I know I should not waste one more minute of my life wondering about why a complete stranger checks my stories instead of asking me out. Urgh! OLD is such a mind fuck!!

You do know it's your turn to ask him out don't you? Why are you waiting for him when you refused the first time?

Gamer when I texted him a couple of days later he cut the conversation pretty short, and then never reached out again though.. Surely a man who is interested in meeting you would not react that way?

Why is he connected to your WhatsApp? Is that how happn works?

Twisted we matched on Happn but moved to Whatsapp pretty quickly.

Why is it his job to do it?

You turned him down once. Maybe he didn't have time to talk when you messaged before.

Block him OP, he's just a nosey git

There's stories on whatsapp?

Or do you mean Instagram?

I'd be upfront and say hey sorry for cancelling the first date do you want to try again?

BigChris yes you can post Stories on Whatsapp as well! Exactly like on Instagram.

I think it's your turn to ask him out. Why not? What do you have to lose?

Also how do you even look at someone's WhatsApp stories? I'm 32 but clearly too old to know you can post stories on WhatsApp!

TheThird I don't even know how he knows when I post stories on Wa! I started posting them every once in a while as my family is not on IG but they are all on Whatsapp, so for me it is a way to keep them in the loop.

I wouldn't ask him out. I think if you do it's highly likely you'll regret it. He asked you out at short notice which is not a sign that someone is keen to make sure you're going to be available. Stop obsessing over what he is or isn't doing and get on with your life, is my advice.

It does sound a bit weird, but shows he's interested at least. Oh OP, please just ask him out and report back

So what? Why do you call him a stalker?

He might be bored and just opens whatsapp and looks at what is there. People do that. If you don't want him to remove him from your contacts or block him. If you want to see him ask him out.

I did not know this! Off to Google

Whatsapp notifies you when a Contact posts a Story, it illuminates the Story icon.

This is why I never moved away from dating apps to messaging except text. The whole knowing someone can read things and then ignore you would have driven me nuts.

Go with your gut.

Go with your gut

My gut says that a man who is keen will message. If he doesn't, then for whatever reason (that might have nothing to do with me personally!) he is not interested.

Isn't it as simple as he has notifications come up, so he looks at them?

If you like him, try contacting him again.
Or, if you find it weird that he's looking at your stories, delete and block.

i look at stories like that when im sitting on trains, bored, in meetings etc.

there could be nothing in it. if you like him, text. give it one more go. if he still doesnt seem interested, id move on.

My gut says that a man who is keen will message. If he doesn't, then for whatever reason (that might have nothing to do with me personally!) he is not interested

Yeah, there you go.

Cannot believe how many women fall for the "he liked my selfie, that means he must see a future with me!"

He could just be looking at everyone's or when he gets a notification. He could be mildly interested to see what you have posted but not to ask you out. It doesn't mean he's stalking you.

If you delete him as a contact from your phone, he won’t be able to see your updates. Or you could alter your privacy settings so you exclude him from seeing your stories. Or you could ask him out yourself and if he messes you around do one of the above and forget about him.

Ok after much deliberation, I decided I will muster my courage and suggest a drink. Ugh! Slightly freaking out, I am not used to asking guys out..

Wish me luck!!

Good luck OP, I'm glad you're doing this!

I actually wouldn't ask him out, sorry OP. I agree if he was as interested as youd want him to be in this situation, he'd not have ended the conversation. If he's on his phone watching all your stories, it would have taken seconds to text a quick comment relating to them or a hi how are you, it's not like the only communication you can have is asking someone out on a date, even if he was too nervous or whatever for that, he still didn't bother with the former.
I'd not want to indulge something from someone that already had me feeling insecure/unwanted, it's not a recipe for success and I'd just wonder if it were me asking him, is he only bothering because it's on offer. I'd just block him so he couldn't see my stories/personal life and not view it as a compliment so much as thinking I literally made it available to watch so it's not surprising people with time on their hands are having a nose.