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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Stalking Instagram Stories

139 replies

WinterNightsByCandleLight · 07/12/2018 20:22

Right, ladies, is this weird?

One of my OH's work colleagues doesn't follow me on Instagram (and doesn't have me on Facebook either) - the two other women who work in his department that OH is close with, do follow me, and I follow them also! We all get along well and regularly chat/have banter etc - not sure that's relevant but thought I'd add it in anyway!

So, the one that doesn't follow me (who I also don't follow)..
I noticed this evening that she'd watched my Instagram story that I posted this afternoon. Upon spotting this, I went back through my Archive of Instagram stories and have seen that she's been watching my daily stories almost religiously for nearly three months now?! 🤔 To watch someone's story that you dont follow, you need to search for them to get to their profile and then watch it that way - as opposed to when you do follow someone, their story will appear at the top of your feed making it nice and easy to quickly tap and see what people are posting.

Is it weird that she's quite blatantly searching for my profile on an almost daily basis to watch my stories!? I think it is.. I told OH about it but he can't see why it bothers me. For the record, it's not that it 'bothers' me as such, I just find it quite creepy and strange!

Oh and before people jump to it, I can categorically rule out anything going on between weird stalker colleague and my OH!

OP posts:
IamPickleRick · 09/12/2018 09:26

I get categories, not stories...

Stalking Instagram Stories
NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 09/12/2018 09:29

No rickpickle its an old not updated feature.

Also i think it was only on ipad/iphones

IamPickleRick · 09/12/2018 09:35

Mine is an iPhone.

LizzieSiddal · 09/12/2018 09:36

OP The only points being missed, are by you.

IamPickleRick · 09/12/2018 09:50

So for her to be watching them that way she needs to be on an iPad, on an old version of insta?

Or she could just be searching everyday.

sanpelle · 09/12/2018 09:59

This happens to me quite a lot! Ex boyfriends, sour professionals, jealous women etc. I tend to relish in it sometimes as they're taking time out of their lives to look at what I'm doing. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you OP! If she wants to be sad and obsess over you then leave her to it. Poor thing hasn't got a life. It's generally not normal to watch daily stories of someone you don't follow unless it's a celeb

Liverpool1944 · 09/12/2018 10:04

OP is this weird?
Everyone: not as strange as you think
OP you're are wrong

fuddle · 09/12/2018 10:04

Get someone to test it out or set up a fake account and see whether what the Ops are saying is true. See whether she is actually following you?

Original poster
WinterNightsByCandleLight · 09/12/2018 10:13

I think some people have seen where I'm coming from and can understand why it's made me be a bit '🤔🧐'.

I didn't come here to find a solution, more to see if anyone else thought that an OH's colleague watching their stuff every day was a bit strange. Evidently, some of you do, some of you don't!

OP posts:
InACloudOfGlitter · 09/12/2018 10:28

I agree OP it's weird. It would be different if she followed you and your stories just came up at the top of the app, but to actually search your name then watch your stories is definitely weird. I agree with a PP, perhaps she has a crush on your do?

I don't think she's realised Instagram tells you who watches your stories either.

Yamayo · 09/12/2018 10:29

Ok I'm clearly totally uncouth.
How can you see who is watching your (completely boring) stories? I've made my account private but I'm concerned people I don't follow but (might) have looked up now think I'm stalking them...

PurdysChocolate · 09/12/2018 10:30

OP I think it's a bit weird, even if your stories do show up in her suggestions, to watch them everyday. Suggests a heavy level of interest.

I have however online stalked people that I was interested in. There was a girl in one of my classes at university that I thought was really beautiful and clever, I found her on Facebook and enjoyed perusing her life occasionally. I still check on her if she pops into my head and it's 15 years later. I've never spoken to her so have never added her as a friend.

I would guess this woman finds you interesting, but doesn't feel she knows you well enough to add you. And she has no idea that you can see her viewing your stories!

Halftermcoming · 09/12/2018 10:40

We all do unusual things in private. Or get fixated on things for no apparent reason.
It’s no worse than you checking to see if she has looked. Just go private.
It seems you are looking for an ego boost in some way though Hmm

Lauren83 · 09/12/2018 10:44

I agree she must be looking you up daily from her recents to watch it, I also wonder if she likes your DP

Lolololololol · 09/12/2018 10:48

Does it say what date she actually viewed the stories? Because she could have just gone on your page for the first time this week and watched your archived stories in one hit? Not so much stalking then, as just a one off? You have probably come up as people she may know due to her following DH?

MrsCar · 09/12/2018 10:55

I can't understand why people are suggesting she has a crush on the OP's dp?
Unless the stories are pictures of the dp Confused

It's far more likely that she has a crush on the OP, surely Confused

Anyway, I agree with a pp who said we all do weird things in private (assuming she doesn't know you can see that she's seen them).

Out of interest op, what do you post? What you eat, wear, buy? Maybe she's just very interested in one of those

She might not follow you as she feels she doesn't know you well enough,

WeeMcBeastie · 09/12/2018 10:58

I don’t see how people can’t accept that this is a bit odd. I agree with the OP, I would be a bit freaked out too. I have no idea how Instagram stories work but a few years ago I did receive a notification that one of my exH’s colleagues had liked a photo I posted. When I checked the ‘like’ has disappeared. I found this suspicious because I’d only met her once and wasn’t aware that they were particularly close at the time. I later discovered their affair and we’re now divorced! I’m not suggesting that this is what’s happening in this situation but I would definitely be more vigilant. As others have said she may have a crush. There’s a difference between occasional nosing on social media and checking the profile of someone you don’t follow on such a regular basis.

Original poster
WinterNightsByCandleLight · 09/12/2018 11:11

My feed itself is mostly homeware stuff - so not massively exciting, but she doesn't 'like' my actual posts, just watches my stories. As far as my stories go - they tend to be if I'm out on a scenic walk, I'll take a quick photo if the view looks pretty. If I come across a funny meme, I'll share it. I sometimes do text posts complaining about how little sleep I'm running on or how I'm looking forward to having a glass of wine on a Friday night... so yeah, not exactly fascinating stories tbh! Just your average day-to-day stuff.

You can't watch people's archived stories. Stories stay up for 24 hours before disappearing, so she is watching them every day as opposed to watching several days worth in one hit.

OP posts:
MrsCar · 09/12/2018 11:20

Completely off topic, but I post pretty much exactly the same stories... scenic walks, Friday night wine and funny memes Grin

So if I came across your account, I'd probably watch your stories as I'd find them interesting and amusing.

That's probably what's happened here, and perhaps she has never posted a story, so isn't aware that the person can see the list of who has seen them.

I'm sure she'd die of embarrassment if she knew...

Halftermcoming · 09/12/2018 11:20

Op you think it’s weird, but it’s also obvious that you like the fact that she’s looking at your stories.

twattymctwatterson · 09/12/2018 11:48

Op I find it weird too. Tbh I'm surprised you're so confident there's nothing going on between her and your DH. A girl who I had one friend in common with did this for weeks to me recently. I had just gone on a date with him at the time and tbh I presumed there must be a story there

Original poster
WinterNightsByCandleLight · 09/12/2018 11:53

Im not sure how me finding this whole thing weird and confusing equates to me liking it!? 🤔 if you say so, halfterm

OP posts:
lazymare · 09/12/2018 12:58

I don’t see how people can’t accept that this is a bit odd.

Because for whatever reason the colleague finds the OP's public content interesting. Looking at strangers' social media is just so common that it's not a big deal.

lazymare · 09/12/2018 13:01

I have various randoms that I check up on for reasons I can't even remember. Idle curiosity.

Halftermcoming · 09/12/2018 13:02

Op those who have a public profile and post daily mundane stories are not randomly posting into the abyss. They are permitting anyone to look and actively allowing it. Thsts fine, but to then start a thread saying it’s weird is odd too, particularly as you are checking to see if she looks Wink
It’s the whole what comes first..the chicken or the egg.

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