Hi all, I really want to get married but am finding it hard to get a straight answer from my partner. We got together when I was 22 and him 25 and I am now 29 (30 in March) and he is 32 (33 in April). It’s been sort of easy for me to explain away to myself why we aren’t engaged yet.
The first year we worked together then the year after I went back to Uni to do my masters. The year after that when I finished he went to Uni for 3 years to retrain. After that we worked for a year while still living at home. Then in 2016 we relocated and moved in together for the first time while I started my PhD. In January 2018 we moved into our own home with a mortgage and have been renovating that, which has been a bit of a money pit and that takes us to today.
My partner used to say he wouldn’t think about marrying me until we live together. Now he says he just isn’t ready and doesn’t know when he will be and that I should respect that. He says we can’t afford it, which is true at the moment but I don’t see why we can’t get engaged and plan for a wedding for 2021. He hates to discuss it and is only very vague with me. Refuses to discuss timelines. Says he just thinks it is a complete waste of money.
It’s getting to the point now where it is eating away at me. I’ve hit breaking point tonight and I am sleeping in the spare room and sort of insinuated our relationship is done. He seemed to just accept this and said well if that’s what you want, I’m happy with the way things are but if you aren’t...